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Wow
Has so much potential, such a brilliant read addictive from the start. I am a bit upset that she didn't fight at all. But I will be eagerly awaiting your next chapter!!
*****
Kajira dont fight back.. She owns nothing not even her name.. Her very existence belongs to the one that owns her. She doesnt breath, eat or shit with out permission. She only has one purpose and that is to Please her owner in what ever form he desires, if it pleases him to kill her she will not fight back. Her Will is his Will.... Arent you glad it just fantasy created from the mind of a guy by the name of John Norman on a planet call Gor. Great start cant wait for update.. Suggestion; that he names her soon and hopefully she wont be talking in 2nd. Cant wait to see how you develop her character.
ALSO *****
Not enough Gor-based stories on this site; keep us supplied.
Sorry but
I just can't get into stories where the girl cums from tasting semen, or from feeling him cum. It's just stupid. I mean really, if she's gonna cum from semen in her mouth you may as well write it so she doesn't have to be readied to be fucked other than being told to "begin secreting vaginal lubrication." Oooh now that's hot! Not!
Dig the submission and slave bit though.
Not buying it
I know this is fiction, but the slave girl's responses to the warmaster are totally unbelievable. Supposedly she gets soaking wet from blowing this complete stranger and finds anal rape--with no preparation--extremely pleasurable?
potential but needs more description
Love the sex slave concept, always been a fan of the harem and the absolute submissive slave woman. However, this needs more sensory description, like how it felt as he penetrated her anally, from both his and her perspectives. Alittle pain and helplessness for her, tightness and the stimulation of his senses as he sodomizes her. Then her initial discomfort and humiliation turns to pleasure as she acclimates to it physically and mentally. Describe her sensations and thoughts during the act. If you want defiance, then make it futile where she is eventually broken. Describe more lust from him, depict him lusting after and anticipating her sodomizing. Keep it up...hope ive been helpful..
Confused
I think you should re-edit this and use a Third person point of view or First person point of View. Because the story is more of that kind. I can hardly imagine myself in the girl's position. It will be more erotic if you do that.
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