Sister Big Boobs

How does their age difference increase paragraph to paragraph?

This was rubbish

What is, "I turned Bright". Why is Bright capitalised? What are you talking about?

If you're going to try writing, you should read a bit first. Learn how a sentence is structured, learn how a story is told, and maybe then give this writing thing another go.

really?!

How is it the you aged 8 years in the same time that your sister aged 10???

just plain bad

delete and stop writing you suck at it and keep the cheating out of the incest area.

Aging

Some people age faster than others. I'm sure you've all seen this before.

good job

this is good, but you should continue with the story, you shoulda wrote more about the sex instead of the plot

ugh

If you really had turned bright you would have recognized what trash this was and deleted it. Try again

Good concept, bad writing

The concept of this story is good and had a lot of potential. I think whats missing here is lack of planning and attention to detail. As many have pointed out, the characters aged at different rates.

Also, the writing was very choppy. I could only get part way through the story before I gave up. I think you need to really think through how you want your story to flow and what the major turning points are. Then when you get it on paper, perhaps find someone to help you edit the story. A fresh set of eyes can always help.

Great Beginning

No hiding behind anonymous names. It has the beginnings of an excellent story. Try not going too fast. Give a little thought to developing your characters a bit more. Don't stop now, crank up that computer and give us another chapter.

AWESOME

I think u have good story start here u just need to go on with chapter 2
u just stoped to soon pls chapter 2.

You can do better

Learn how to proofread, use spellcheck and use grammar check. Also don't forget about math. How do you explain a from 12 years to 15 years in age difference?

Do The Math

I mean like 18 to 25 and she was 30 to 40?

dull and too short

boring and left me hanging

Little too short

but a great story none the less

You got any brains shit-head?

You were 18 and your sis was 30.

Case 1-
If you are 25(7 years later) then your sis should be 37.

Case 2-
If your sister is 40(10 years later) then you should be 28.

Exceptions-
Of course until you stopped aging for 3 years or your sister boosted her age by 3 years.

still more to be told good story line but more to be told

Story matter

Very less material on Sister's boobs,...lags in material....
Math Calculation for 18 to 25....VERY POOR...!!!!!!!!!!

another fail

the writer must have gone through the obama school system, everything gets handed to you and you don't have to do a thing to get it.

Too short

Why did you end the story so quickly?

Well shit!! that's not enough of a hook to make me come back for more. you should have finished it in this story. Now I've already finished it in my mind and it doesn't really matter what else you write about it.
could have been good....

come on!!!

U GOTTA WRITE MORE! LOL

great math

First started noticing sis when i was 18 and she 30... fast forward some years... I'm now 25 and she is 40... how did she age 10 years in the time he aged 7???

Arithmetic

The sister aged fast. At one point she was 30 and he 18 so 12 year gap. Fast forward and he's 25 and she is 40. Fifteen year gap. I would swear it was't true if I hadn't read it with my own eyes.

You went from being 12 yrs younger to 15 yrs younger