Female Non-Consent Fantasies

I'm only a mere man

but this makes a lot of sense to me

A fine piece of observation

Thank you for bringing us this. I think, particularly with all the ongoing buzz about 'that book' that this is a much-needed comment. Well-written and showing a considerable degree of joined-up thinking, I believe this could - and should - become a classic in its field.

Well done - I don't imagine you were hunting scores with this piece, but I have awarded it five stars nonetheless.

Interesting

Most thought-provoking. Thank you.

Interesting

Thanks for putting into words the vague idea that I had running around my mind about this. I know a couple of strong willed successful women who have this fantasy. They do not want it to happen, but they admitted one night that well written stories of it really got them going. I knew there was some reason, but you put it very well.

Right ON!

Well Said!!!

Umm... I didn't know this was the problem... I was under the impression that the dialectic being reviewed here ....

....had to do with authors who write this plot line as more than fantasy. Obviously if one were to actually act out these fantasies that would reveal mental illness. And how does anything you have said speak to misogyny? There is much writing that comes from the realm of fantasy but there is much on this site that comes from a political viewpoint that is dangerous. No one should be doubting that women fantasize about everything. No one should doubt that the reality is only for the sick and that some males on this site blur the distinction.

Important Topic

Thank you for your contribution to an important topic. Do you draw a distinction between male and female authors of non-consentual stories with a woman as the sub, slave, or victim?

Fascinating

While I might not agree with all your conclusions (specifically what effect these stories might have on male readers, or that women necessarily win the flirting game), you do make points worth consideration. A fresh and interesting essay.

It's ALL about letting go of control!

Yes - You've hit it on the head, for me at least. The excitement that comes from these non-consent/BDSM fantasies is the loss or letting go of control, or at least the idea of it. Until recently, I have always felt a little ashamed that an independent, feminist woman could harbor these fantasies. But having recently explored BDSM, I can say it is liberating to allow someone else to be in control. It took me some time to let go, but I am enjoying finding out more about this part of my sexuality.

@ Pistolpackinpete

The problem is that authors USE those views you talk about to make their stories more realistic, not because they believe them (although some may) and readers immediately demonize authors irregardless. Using real psychology and ideology as literary techniques.

Independent women and loss of control

My internet Dom sent me this email because he thought it would chyme with my feelings. And he's absolutely right. Pandemos was spot on when she said that the loss of control is liberating - I totally agree. I'm incredibly lucky - a successful, high achieving senior IT manager who leaves most men quaking in her wake! Yet now I have full control over all aspects of my life, the choice to be a sub is the most erotic and liberating choice I've ever made.

To those who say that BDSM is abusive, I say it's bollocks. Everyone - male, female, straight, gay, vanilla, fetishist has the right - and responsibility to make the best choices they can for themselves and those around them. If a woman choses to submissive, controlled, pseudo-raped etc - it is a choice made of free will and is as assertive as it gets. If she hasn't chosen, and is genuinely forced against her true will then that is real rape. If you are in an abusive relationship and don't want to be, get help and get out. If you're in an abusive relationship and secretly enjoy it, stop crying wolf. Rights, responsibilities, choices, emotions. It's what makes us human.

false premise

Sorry, but there is a difference between fantasy and non consent.
women, and men, can have fantasies, and those stories should be posted in that category. But if he or she does not want to participate, did not harbor secret desires wanting to be taken against their will, and were forced anyway, it is still rape.
No still means No.

Could have been a good essay if it weren't for the overlooking and bias

Your premise overlooks the vast amount of stories where the women do not enjoy the rape or non consent/reluctance. Thus the notion that there is no misogyny because the woman enjoys it is false.

Your premise also shows bias suggesting only those who don't like danger or lower self esteem women would flaunt themselves for attention would be uncomfortable with the idea of rape. It shows quite a lack of reason when your stance is basically: If you're uncomfortable with this you're either boring or you're a low self attention seeker afraid this will happen to you. Plenty of women who do not flaunt themselves are uncomfortable with the idea of rape because they view it as a disgusting and degrading violation. It has nothing to do with their self esteem or thinking it could be her but their view of the action itself.

Your conclusions is composed of overlooking. It overlooks that one can be offended by rape stories simply because of rape. Instead you suggest that if one is offended ny misogynistic non-consent stories it's either because they think it 'hurts women's fragile reputations' or they 'can't believe a woman can have the same basic responses as a man'. It also overlooks that it's not the same basic responses in 'a woman enjoying a rape' to 'a man enjoying consensual sex with an unattractive woman'.

Good points.

totally agree!

I strongly agree with these two points
1.) A woman who reads non-consent must be strong and have high self esteem, otherwise the story would not be erotic; it would be frightening.

2.) men can freely fantasize about being dominated then why the double standard for women?