It seemed like it was more about the gals' fantasies and pleasure than Frank. Sure, he got off, but in a very limited & controlled way. (you need an editor, or at least a proofreader - the typos are distracting)
First. this was a really great story! I loved the vivid sex. The other reader has a point about spelling and grammar, but it didn't spoil anything for me. Keep writing!
What an inspiring story... Crazy fun and brilliantly visual. More please.
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English
Just Whose Present Was It?
It seemed like it was more about the gals' fantasies and pleasure than Frank. Sure, he got off, but in a very limited & controlled way.
(you need an editor, or at least a proofreader - the typos are distracting)
Great Fantasy
First. this was a really great story! I loved the vivid sex. The other reader has a point about spelling and grammar, but it didn't spoil anything for me. Keep writing!
Ultimate fun
What an inspiring story... Crazy fun and brilliantly visual. More please.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Happy Birthday to Me or
More submissions by tk5555.