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hard to figure out
hi, even though i like this story it does have some problems. For example you keep forgetting to put quotation marks (") and you use the ellipsis (...) too many times.
Its hard to figure out what someone is actually saying out loud and what someone is just thinking.
Also its hard to figure out who's talking.
As for the story, i like where this is going. Put character descriptions as you see fit. :)
I really appreciate your comments
Ok, so I believe you (anonymous) would like to know more about Michael and Sandra...well, that might depend on whether or not the story will change or just conclude it as I have it.
For the rest....thank you it really helps but i'm missing my previous editor... the editor who helped in here did a good job though if he/she is still available I'll ask for assistance in that....and will definitely look over for more information. (if you are willing for some editing, I won't mind either; it's not easy to get an editor)
BE ADVISED that Chapter 5 should be online tomorrow so don't get mad for the same errors!! ;D
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