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Good effort, but . . .
You obviously put some effort into this story, and there are aspects of it that are good. However, there are far too many errors of spelling (e.g., "my stomach was flat and taught;" should be "taut,") punctuation, grammar, etc., and all of those could be eliminated with the assistance of a good editor. Keep writing but use the free editor service offered through Literotica.
Goo Effort ... yes ! ! !
Granted the suggestion earlier was valid .... but I've seen & read much worse.
Keep in mind the suggestion of a proof reader. It can only enhance your story. Look forward to reading more adventures with your cousin ... of anyone else that might strike your fancy. :-)
Great!
A great story, I enjoyed every minute of it!
Hope there is more to come and the stories keep improving spelling-wise.
Definitely a thumbs up :)
total fail
the cheating killed it as always. once it was evident there would be cheating it wasn't worth continuing.
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