All Comments on 'Mom Needs Her Son'

for your first story it shows great promise i hope to see more stories by you in the future.... keep up the good work

Got the job done for me.

That was a two J.O.... Keep them coming...

this was hot lets hear more ,mommy needs cock

You've got the imagination and the talent to give us many more good stories.

So keep on writing.

What was the need to add the "I've had my tubes tied" bit???

The danger of a taboo pregnancy surely adds to the forbiddan act.

Make your story telling in the 'God view' short paragraphs and keep the dialog seperated some. Readers get lost sometimes when it's all bunched together. It looks like you seperated it some in the middle but then got jumbled up again. I think the plot and storyline are there but just needed some editing. Lit offers really good help for free, so you might want to check there. Also the saidisms. If two people talk, a reader should know who is saying what if there are only two people doing the dialog.

"So would like to suck my cock now Mom?"

"Oh fuck yes honey, Mommy would love to swallow that fucking piece of meat."

The reader knows who is saying what. Take it from me, don't stop writing because you had mistakes. I'm not the worlds best author, but I was there once too when I submitted my first story. Good luck and keep writing.

Is English not your native language? This story did not flow well.

I'll skip over the editing errors. No big deal

really loved this one it just needed a fine tuning.

Only one thing nags at me after reading it.

She dates lots of losers.

Then her and Nate fuck like rabbits.

skip to the end and I quote

"could feel all of his love seed fill her in

places that hadn't been explored in years."

Unless they all had five inch dicks or less

Little story line oops there....

You can never edit your story's enough. And

second opinions are always a good-thing.

Yes I know this is nit picking. But you get

my point.

Hate to say it, but this story sounded like a report. Who, what, where, when, why. I'd rather be shown than told.

"What was the need to add the'I've had my tubes tied" bit???'"

Because pregnancy kills the mood in these stories. Does an 18-year-old really want to become a father? Or does he just want to fuck his hot mother in consequence-free sex?

Very good story and arousing ! We need another chapter or two to see where Jason and his Mom go from here. Thanks.

I liked the story line, needed more sexual description and the conversation was a little stilted. Put yourself in Jason's place and describe what you see and feel.

It could have been a little longer with more graphic erotic sex.

I was surprised that this was a first time post for the author. It was very good and erotic.

As for the storyline; I think it should be extended to show how their tryst of incestuous sex develops over time, and how involved they become with each other.

Thanks for the read

Mr "Anonymous, Tubes" is right actually, possible pregnancy does add to the story , especially J/O stories. I generally don't agree with anonymous comments because not leaving a name is cowardly really, but in this instance that is correct. One of the best writers here "Ahabscribe" wrote a short series called "Mother & Son: A Love Story 1-10" and it is fantastic, the mother wanted to get her tubes reconnected so that she could have a child by her son. I thought that was incredible. We all have to remember is that these are fantasy stories as well as J/O stories. If you want something deep and well read, really, come-on, read Tolstoy. No one really cares about grammar when their grabbing their cock , that is so unimportant.

its a good story but maybe another one to continue it

I appreciate all of your comments. I was anticipating that there would be a few people who would have liked to have seen the mother get pregnant, but I hadn’t planned on making this a long and drawn out series. I have a few other story ideas that I have wanted to write down, and might even come back to Jessica, but it takes me forever to get these out of my head and onto the computer. I try to story board them first. I do welcome all of the comments, positive as well as negative. They do help tremendously! Thanks again everyone, and for the person who asked if I have read, “The Art of War” not completely, but I do have the book and have started it.

very nice sex. not perfect but very good. thanks,

The omniscient point of view is somewhat awkward here. A limited third or first person would have helped the narrative flow smoothly.

I think the son should fuck his siblings as well? Just a suggestion :) really good story otherwise.... Loved the massage bit

I love when both the mother and son act as if they can't see where this is going.

I think of it as self denial, seeing something that in your heart is wrong but you still want it to happen. Good story though.

I've been writing for Lit for the past 2 years now, so I might be able to give you a few tips. First don't read the anonymous feedback. They are anonymous for a reason. I think that most of them are insane.

You've gotten some good feedback. Reread Boneam's comments. He is right on the mark.

You have to get your grammer in line or the readers will pick you apart. They are right. Nothing kills a jerk off story like loose grammer. With a J/O story, you are getting your reader into a certain state of mind. He will loose that state if he is distracted by a messy story.

Some of your dialoge was a little corny. I think you should try and be a little more realistic.

Lastly, now you've written a J/O story, and gotten it out of your system. Don't get me wrong, I like a J/O story as much as anybody, but try to write a more plausable storyline. Something with character development.

I think stories are better with a build up, and conflict. They want to have sex, but they are conflicted. Whether its incest or an illicit affair, whatever. There is nothing like sexual tension.

I've probably written too much. Don't take the comments, including mine, to heart. Look at how many hits you've gotten, and the stars people give you. You are a success. Use the comments to become a better writer. Thanks for listening.

D/S

a few more lines with some details to make it more believable would round it out nicely. Make the mom more drunk, or even better, having been drugged with out knowing it...by something she likes to take willingly anyway... because she likes how it always makes her horny...perhaps by some jackass where she works...anything so we can imigine how something so unlikely could actually happen...especially if it involves normal hot people. Nothing too far fetched...just possible. You wrote it to make freaky people horny... not just to practice grammer. It makes ya hornier when it sounds like it could've really happened, or even better, like theres a chance something like that could happen to you. Take out the lines regarding the boyfriend...add something about how much she happens to be masturbating a lot more lately...and then all the sudden, someone slipped her a mickey before she headed home one night. Personally...for my pussy to get wet over such a short story, it has to be totally totally believable...and featuring good looking respectable type characters. With this particular topic, your niche wants to believe it could have been their mom or their brother...not some freaky people like the people that are on here reading this shit...right???

mom come home late one night afert prating,druck me and 2 brothers hered mom is at home known she layed done on the bad naked 15,14,12 yrs old we gote nacked to mom ask whote are you 3 up to we told mom we going to fuck her pussy,ass,mouth,cum inside your mouth,ass,pussy each will cum in you 3 time to night mom it will be a 4 way she saded not all at one time i'm to druck sons ok no mom we going to fuck you all night long and cum in you all night get your 31 yr old pussy ready mom don't sons this isn't right at all sons it's incest i put my dick in mom pussy,one put hes dick in her ass hole,one put hes dick in her mouth,we starded to fuck mom she told us to stop sons we side no mom you fuck all the men you drang home so we thack we shoud fuck,cum in you to we fucked her for about 12 hrs that night we had cum all over her she told us that she like us to fuck her some more she like all of us at the same timefalt go to her we are 36,35,33,and still live wheth mom ,cum in her each day

A well traveled road,but rides smoothly

My Mom left her wet sweet pink panties, I inhaled, I needed her .....

It's all been mentioned by others already. Main issue is it seemed rushed considering the amount of details at the start. If it was just going to be a quick J-O then all of that was not needed.

As for the Anonymous issue, it seems like the weight of advice from all the MadeUpNames giving false praise is more than enough to balance anything an Anonymous could possibly say. Unless people have started using real names here, then all the comments are still pretty anonymous.

Keep on writing if you have an idea to do it.

Most honorable Sun Tzu:

I thought your story was pretty good, and agree with many of the comments about editing and trying to keep things focused. The advice I'd add is that the "delete" key is your friend. My tendency as a writer is to put in too much at first--too many words, too many details, etc. The more I edit (and DELETE) extra words, dialog, and action the better the story gets.

One other thought is to double check to be sure you don't have a lot of paragraphs in a row starting the same way: You have a string of paragraphs all starting with "Jessica" near the beginning of the piece.

All that being said, it's a good yarn and you have a great imagination. Writing well is difficult and it takes a lot of perseverance and guts. I hope you write another one, and I'll look forward to reading it!

Katie

I LOVE mom/son stories. This one is without fault, please keep writing.

Very good. Not enough errors to derail the story. It just seemed a little rushed. The background was sketchy, but the sex scenes were hot. Keep it up, but slow down.

I am in incestuous relationship with my mom for over 2 years now.... I am not ashamed to call myself a motherfucker and I am proud of it. I have tried every sex position with my mother. It is an amazing feeling cumming inside my own mother.

Single moms needs man and sons are available at home so such sex happens. Then son becomes Man of the house and moms pussy, mouth, tits, thighs and also Ass becomes his property.

I agree, it is a little rushed. Way too many stories have the mother capitulating too quickly. You have some odd phrasing here and there as well. I think you have potential, but you need to flesh out, smooth out, and refine your style.

I stand in awe of the anon who wrote, "I am in incestuous relationship with my mom for over 2 years now.... I am not ashamed to call myself a motherfucker and I am proud of it. I have tried every sex position with my mother. It is an amazing feeling cumming inside my own mother." That is just so fucking incredibly cool. This guy has actually done what lots of lots of sons only dream of doing. He's admired and felt attracted to that wonderful hole between his mother's legs that he came out of, like plenty of boys are. He's been hard in his pants countless times around his mom, picturing his big cock jammed up his own mother's cunt--and then it really happened! He really fucked his mother, and he's been fucking her for a couple of years now. His mom must love it, and love the hot incestuous fucks her boy gives her all the time. Must love it as much as he does when her boy blows his hot balls up the same twat where he was once a baby and floods it with his warm creamy semen. Let this be an example and a lesson to all the sons who ache to get up between their mother's legs and blast their semen up inside their mom. See, it can really, really happen. Guys, don't waste your sperm on a stupid kleenex just thinking about your mom. Shoot it up where it belongs, up the twat of all your dreams.

I'm very proud to say that I'm a motherfucker. As well as being a father to 8 of my siblings 4 sets of identical twins 2 boys & 2 girls & right now she is pregnant with quads, (I was a virgin)

"Then we will both be naked baby. It's only fair."

"Jason could not argue with that logic"

Much logic, very strong, lmao. Other than that, it was ok. Felt that they both slipped into it a bit quickly but, eh.

This was frickin' amazing!!! You really need to make a second chapter ASAP!! This was so good! I love it to death! This has got to be one of my favorite incest stories here on this site! Please please please start writing again!! Your work is great! 5 stars DUH! Although I don't see how the other kids wouldn't hear Jason and Jessica fucking...that was the only flaw I saw in the story, but I absolutely love this one to death!! Please keep them coming!! WE WANT MORE...Right people!? (YES)! ;)

Very fucking hot! I love stories where the son is the man of the house.

so I gave you a4 for your effort and because you finally made me cum!

I am 25 married for thre years with one child I am so grateful for my dad fucking me it was a learning experience, mom always watched and sometimes joined in it was fantastic, I always loved to listen to my girlfriends mom and son talk about fucking each other, I am very opened minded wan to explore more sexual experiences like beastiality sex and whatever turners me on.

A mother who wants a massage after three in the morning, is asking to be taken. Who needs Nate when you've already got Jason at home? He can give his mom all the pleasure she needs, and won't get jealous about her job either. The only problem is the other three kids, unless they're all hard sleepers? They could go to a motel once in a while, I don't think Nate would let them use his place?

I agree with most of the other comments,but I did give you 5 stars for the idea of the story. The one thing that really PISSED ME OFF !!!! though was mummy saying that she had her tubes tied,it would have been more interesting to see her getting well and truly pregnant,maybe we could see her having the operation reversed and she gets pregnant in your 2nd chapter. Thanks sport see ya next time.

Like the story when mother gets horny I should I got to fuck my mom and even my aunt.they are both big chested with large dark brown nipples plus lot pubic hair between their legs.you see three us live together I get to fuck both of them.they both are 5ft.2in. 145lbs.yes I got them both pregnant plus their chest is 38 triple d.

Well what happend to NATE, and all the other kids.

She did have a few, 10, 12, 16,and 18yo JASON,

He's the lucky one.

...THANKS...

ps. good start, could use a few more

chapters, they just got started.

Restrooms are in pubic places, not your own home. How many bathrooms do you have in your house? Not how many restrooms. And "she used the restroom" isn't very descriptive for an erotic story. Say she was peeing or pissing or even shitting and be more descriptive in general about her body, Other than that, it was a decenr story.

If i had a mother like jessica I’d definitely fuck her.

Please continue I loved it. Thank you.

Yet another story where I skipped everything until the massage. The rest was just useless filler.

Awesome story. Wish it was my life story but we never got that close.

Just an average story not much build up to the sex and it was to short! Gave it 3 stars