Good ending to the story although shaving off Maria's bush is a crime against nature and should be suitably punished. The episode with Annie in Spain is interesting, as there is something seriously wrong there if you accept the character as written. Not a trained professional and I did not stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night, but Annie's behavior would seem to indicate some deep seated issues. Is she in any way based on a real person?
"Well there it is. A little slow perhaps, but I'll try a little harder next time." It was as close to perfection as one could hope for. The confrontation with Annie in Spain made perfect sense. Let us say you had a good marriage but got bored. Then you ran away to Spain with another. That other leaves you in a short period of time. Four years later your now very wealthy and successful spouse shows up. What do you say? What can you say? It only reinforces the negative feelings of guilty you have that come from throwing it all away. Silence is the best revenge.
This story was pretty much Lifetime Channel Level Llt pablum for men with ONE EXCEPTION.
I really admired the depiction of the attempted tete-a-tete with the ex. It went against all my expectations, but when I thought about it, it made sense, by & large.
Was it congruent a mother could shun her only child? Well, life is funny. She perhaps lost her sense of self and began a descent after the daughter left for college . The choice was made to invest herself wholly to her lover & her art. Then when he left - just the art. I know artists of varying degrees of talent like this .
Family ties seemed superfluous to her & she became self absorbed. In my mind,
, she didn't talk because there was nothing left of the wife/ mother that used to be. Silence was the most eloquent answer to give absolute notice of this transformation. Very, very Nice ...that part.
A little over the top with the Oscars and the golden globes but it added an extra notoriety for the character. A previous comment nailed the original Annie to a t. I'd just like to add in my inimitable way that she was a cunt skank. She deserves to be alone and on the move.
All in all, a great series. I look forward to more.
You made my life a living hell! How the hell can I speak to the man who ruined my life?
My name was a public record. You put my goddamned picture on the back of your book! Did you know that your book has been translated into Spanish? Do you know how many English people vacation in Spain? Did you know your book was a best seller there as well?
Do you want to know how many times I've had someone ask me who I was? I've had to change my name, my shape and my hair just to have any sense of privacy. I've had curious people look me up. And then YOU happened to rub things in.
And you know what? I did it to myself as well. I started this catastrophe and you get to glide out of it as this super hero while I am forever theis heartless villainess. I'M NOT A BAD PERSON! I made a MISTAKE and now I'm going to suffer for it as long as you are famous.
Annie.
by
Anonymous08/24/12
Movie Deal
Ya know? Witth the right screen play and director this could be a pretty decent movie.
by
Anonymous08/24/12
Great Series!!! 6****
Too bad there is not a special rating for outstanding stories. I have enjoyed this series immensely.
Very pleased you didn't write a showdown with slut Annie. Especially the usual dribble of "I made a mistake", "I'm so sorry", "Can't we try to work it out?" Geez it gets old.
This series was a breath of fresh air. Thank You!!
To write a Good Romantic Revenge Story is the biggest chalange for good writers.......
Naturaly I give 5*****, but the story became a half succesful Romantic Revenge story, because AJ's sadness was in the center of the story and not Annie's problem. The EMOTIONAL burnt down was not shown in the story only the exwife's loneliness. This may have been the center of the Romantic Revenge the loneliness unsucesful love relation, but to show AJ's sadness wronged the Romantic Revenge situation. In Vulcez excellent Romantic Revenge Story "Choices Made", where the egoistic mother and exwife was succesful burnt down at the end of the story. Or in Azpiri's "Shattered Ch 03." fantastic Romantic Revenge Situation where the Author burnt down the exwife emotionaly at the end of the story. Or a debated Author's story Matt Moreau's story "Madifan and Jessica Carlisle", where Jessica goes to the succesful Madigen after the TV talk show to admit her third husband and father of her children Jimmy is egzactly same man is as Madigan was/is (the majority of the readers do not detect the excellent Romanticf Revenge situation)............ Here the Romantic Revenge was not well written. I think after finding Annie only AJ should have start any connection to her mother and Joe gets information about the meeting and his exwife from his daughter. I think a mother daughter encounter would have been more succesful for showing the Romantic Revenge..............I think to write a Romantic Revenge Story is the most difficult, either the majority of the readers do not recognize or the the Author mix not well or spoil it at the end as Matt Moreau did with "An Unacceptable Situation ", where if the Author had not written the second wife's bank service action at the story end the story would have been the one of the best Romantic Revenge story (but it would not have dangered Vulzez's story "How are You?" at all). What is it like a good Romantic Revenge story? I recommend Coaster2's story on SOL (storiesonline.net) "Once Upon a Fantasy", or StanStar06' story "Love is for Suckers" but the best Romantic Revenge Story remains forever me Vulzez's story "How are You?"..................................
My fantasies can be elaborate, but this tops them. Winning Oscars, best sellers, once Annie left, it was nothing but clear sailing and money and fame. If she had left ten years sooner the guy would have ruled the world! I still question the format where this was a public interview. He discussed his wife's breasts and their love making, which seemed beyond the normal book discussion. Well written, except for that plot hole, in my opinion.
Can understand how love for someone can cause one to give up everything to be with that person. People cheat even where the penalty is death for doing so. Problem with loving and cheating is that you don't really know the other person. A few furtive hours per week, most spent sexing, does not allow a depth of knowledge. When the dream fantasy of life together meets the day to day reality of living together, combined with guilt, there are bound to be problems.
Annie was conservative and constrained. Could it be that guilt and shame and an inability to stop the affair caused her to leave as she did? Was it self punishment which would not allow contact with old life? Did she put on weight to further punish herself and reduce sex appeal?
The best of the LW stories have an emotional punch. I think a story about Anne, as a guilt ridden wife who has to finally let go to face herself daily, would be wonderful.
The format was certainly original, well thought out and perfectly executed. It was clever how you mostly avoided the detailed stories of all the Annies and Joes, yet it was the glue that held the whole presentation together.
Many loose ends and untied knots, but let the critics rant. It was entertaining well beyond expectations, and this Epilogue a truly unexpected bonus. You've not only set the bar high for other authors, but amazingly high for yourself.
.... but the middle portion was over kill. All of the sucess, contract movies, oscars nomination across the board, Required reading etc. A movie, award screen writer that another book and coporate speaker would suffice.
Nice touch @ end with meeting of Annie. I was able to visualize the meeting of te exs the scene vividly. Would like to hear some dialogue between her and joe but that my opinion.
Five for series this chapter low four
by
Anonymous08/24/12
Reading this was like eating salt.....
The more I ate, the sicker I got. Please let this be last installment.
The first chapter was great, I'll give you that. And then it dried up. I was hoping it would get better but it never did.
QHML forgot to include the part where 'Joe' discovered that eating guavas and artichokes TOGETHER (same meal or snack) was an instant cure for breast cancer AND prostate cancer! No side-effects, cheap and easy (but a remarkably nasty taste-combination ... almost as bad as durian.) The Nobel prize decision was a 'gimme' the next year!
FD45 and KELCHA analysis or insight of Annie is somewhat flawed
The speculation about the reasons regarding annie's inability to turn around and face him and have one last conversation is pretty darn important as it is the key to understanding her behavior here.
The very act of turning around and facing him even if only for 30 seconds would mean that Annie would have to turn around and face HER decisions... catastrophically bad decisions as it turned out... that she made. Seeing pictures of her own grandchildren which seemingly would be relatively harmless ... would
FORCE her to to recognize that she cannot see them and/ or watch them grow.
There is a deep and serious character flaw here that no amount of therapy could ever possibly fix . Annie is such a weak willed and seriously flawed person that she is willing to not even acknowledge her own children and grandchildren rather than face the choice is she made.
This story was well written, developed in a good way with interesting characters and was of a very original premise. All things being equal it was a great story. But it didn't appeal to me personally. I just didn't like the guy and I don't know why. Strange thing when your subjective clashes with your objective.
I've read and like your story. It is well writen and has emotional impact. BUT... it doesn't belong in erotica. Granted you put some erotic scenes into it, but this is a basic loved, lost, love... story. As a story goes, it has a lot of merit, as erotica goes... it falls a bit flat. As for the comments about the orignal Annie, I thought that was handled rather well. Granted again you are going to run afoul of the Burn The B***h crowd that frequents this site. As a story I'd give it a five, as erotica, I could only give it a two. So I'll refrain from voting on this one so I don't sink a good story. I just wish there was a good site to put these well told, but not erotic stories on.
Keep writing
Myhands316
by
Anonymous08/24/12
As he entered the dentists office......
he found himself surrounded by unicorns and a rainbow filled sky. Great fantasy story for all us 'average' guys past our prime. As for Annie...what comes after lust, bad decisions, embarassment, lack of self worth, and depression? Hated her in the beginning...sad for her in the end and in her probable ending. 5 stars overall but a prenup with 1000,000? Thanks for the read.
is the sound of the air going out of this story. Things just keep getting miraculously better for our hero. The epilogue at least had a couple of mildly dramatic moments-the pre-nup (basically a misunderstanding), and the confrontation that wasn't. It was ok. The wife became an even bigger enigma than before. Rather unbelievable.
Oh well....
And her crappy painting off the pier. Love this story.
by
Anonymous08/24/12
Good series weak epilogue
Rather than waste words on the fantasy ending with Oscars and the like, I'd of preferred a more realistic view of how he and Annie went wrong. How she started her affair and the what happened to her. They didn't have to talk. You could have (and still can) write a chapter from her POV. I didn't like Joe all that much at the end. No point in screaming at the poor woman at that point.
Try to stay in the realm of reality in your next story. I think the first chapter struck home because it seemed real. The story then floundered between filler and fantasy. Keep writing. You have talent.
by
Anonymous08/24/12
the whole series i would rate as a 4.5
as for Annie she is the original slut pig whore who ran off with a greasy slime ball and after being fed his slime for several months he takes her for what ever can free pussy when someone else is paying all the bills but not me can you say kept MUD HEN he is gone and she knows she is a used useless untalented slut. and JOE has set the world afire and rubbed it in with out saying a word .Annie is a worthless piece of slime and we only hope she receives her just reward oh ya she has.
by
Anonymous08/24/12
really good
story nice read and entertaining. there are only 2 problems. Nr. 1 another one already mentioned. he would be ruined by a good lawyer having the picture of the real Annie on the book cover. Nr. 2 comes with the prejudice, that is the biggest human myth, that women can communicate. it is true, men can drink without beeing thirsty and women can talk without having a subject. But.....you proved it with your own story here , women can't communicate if it comes to serious problems. Annie just walked away and even years after not a word not even to her daughter. And his knew wife ? At the first critical moment in there short history she already refuses him for a whole week . So as nice as the story was, so wrong it was also. All the decisions were made women. Annie , his knew wife, his woman lawyer and all the drama without a word. Before the spanish confrontation of Annie you could have made a perfect end to this story because without Annie this story is open. Now you rushed a bit this chapter and I really wonder how you will get your ass out of your own trap. :-)
the cow got fat, boyfriend left after nione months and she was so ashamed she hid, would not turn around, and did not even look at the pictures. burn the bitch down.
Sheer fantasy with the Oscars and such (going a tad overboard...). The final "confrontation" with Annie was...I dunno.
Personally, I think Annie was too ashamed to face Joe, and her daughter.
As for FD45's post, oh my gods, he's right. Joe literally wrote a bestselling book (and movie too) defaming her character and person (and putting her PICTURE on the book? WTF.). Basically he utterly destroyed Annie forever in the public opinion. She has become The Most Hated Woman in America.
Normally speaking, cheating wives do not garner much public outcry. Wife cheated on you? Sucks, but it happens. Unless you're both celebrities and every step is followed, the average guy and girl won't be up in arms over some guy's wife cheating on him. They don't know him and her, and they won't care.
This however...With his book, Joe MADE them care about it, and HATE Annie for the pain and suffering Joe went through, even though they have NEVER met Annie. I would not be surprised at all if years later, Annie came back, and some granny assaults her with her cane because she was recognized as "Annie from that book".
What Annie did to Joe and her family, CAN be recovered from (as Joe evidently did), but what Joe did (making Annie hated by millions).......how the heck do you "recover" from that? There won't be a future for her where her deeds are "in the past", because that book will still be there. No matter how many years pass, or how she's changed, she will always be "Annie from that book". It's disproportionately worse, in my opinion.
If I'm being cynical, I'd say Annie didn't turn around and acknowledge Joe because if she did, she'd freaking stab him in the face for destroying her life with his book.
Nice work but it still doesn't explain the ex-wives actions... that is a definite minus regarding this epilogue. As to the ex-wife… I completely agree with FD45 and Mousse9: Annie the Ex will be forever tainted in the public eye because of what she did… putting her photo on the cover was a bit of a mean thing to do… and might even have been illegal as it was done without authorisation of the depicted… could lead to a huge claim.
What was with Annie? As you wrote, men and women desert each other all the time. But to ignore the chance to see a child and even more, a grandchild she had never seen? Was she so ashamed that she couldn't face AJ? Was she such a bitch that she didn't care? Or was she afraid of her own emotions if she saw her daughter and granddaughter? Emotional pain that she hadn't been with them and couldn't be with them in the future? You've got to give us your answer so please try not to take too awfully long to write it. Please.
by
Anonymous08/25/12
We need another epilogue
Where he has cured cancer or found the secret of life. This story really did turn out bad from a very good start. Ah well maybe next time.
I was of the mind that the story didn't need an epilogue but I am glad that you did end up writing it as it closed all the open threads of the story nicely.
by
Anonymous08/25/12
What about Annie?
Loved the story. Only thing nagging at me is,,,ANNIE!!! MUST have closure!
She is a cypher,neither the bitch or the penitant. If she is angry at joe why snub the dsughter? It almost seems like she still blames him for everything that happened and has retreated into her own bitter world. Course we knew her affair was doomed,a spanish painter?Maybe her guilt from a repressed background caused her to break....but she is a cypher not a character and is irritating in a story full of out there stuff.
Others are right putting the exs pic on the book would never happen,the publisher would never do it without a release.....I don't think that is why she wouldn't talk to him,i think she is just a bitter wreck and blames him and the d for her f up.
For one commenter he doesn't say women communicate better,he explicitly says women need to express their needs,men can't read your mind.
I wrote in my earlier comment. The meeting organizing was managed with awful method. AJ and her mother should have meet but the exhusband as the story showed. Not to react for the exhusband I can understand well. If AJ would have gone to meet her mother the refuse would have been less % likely...............Low % mothers abandon her children and grandchildren. The exhusband exwife encounter was a natural law catastropha and the Author only showed us how should not have organized a meeting. Annie decide on not react her exhusband to save her psyche, which was already injured her mistake....................Nobody wants to swim voluntary in the sewage water.................
Had I have AJ's father, I would have assisted AJ to pay the PI, to take everybody to Spain, but I would have paied a room for AJ and the grandchild in an other Hotel far to our Hotel and to organize the meeting Annie with AJ and the grandchild ONLY......What a different!
If Annie refused the connection with her daughter and grandchild I would join to the other posters about Annie's psychical state....................
i agree with njlauren. i understand that the story isnt about her, but such a... rabid.. exclusion from the story is just weird. unless you intend to have her featured in another story, hmmm?
Certainly not what I would expect to read on this site. I couldn't put it down. Wish 500 Annie's actually existed and was required reading. Thank you for contributing this.
I would've liked to hear more about the ex wife, I understand the story isn't about her but it kind of is . I just think by it being in the loving wives section I as a reader would've loved to have read more about her especially in the end, the meeting with the ex was short & rushed while you took your time writing about Maria. The other issue I have regarding this story is what was the point of the pre-nup if the new wife Maria could walk away with everything he's worked for? It seems like a waste of ink as well as paper & time to me. The lawyer was right he should've protected himself more, I thought the pre-nup was moronic since he wasn't really protected, I also don't understand why Maria was do upset with him for the first pre-nup? If she really loved him & wasn't marrying him for his money what was the big deal? She'd get $1 million in the event of divorce, what, did she think she deserved more? Maybe it's just me but if I was this guy & I've been burnt by a chic I'd make sure my $30 million was intact in case of divorce.... Yeah yeah they were in love but people fall out of love all the time. These are the two issues I had regarding this story but I still enjoyed it even though it left me a bit unfulfilled.
All have fine coments about the orginal x-Annie.
Most posters also want to know "the rest of the original X-Annie story". You have a built in sequel/part 4/Prequel if you pen a POV from orginal x-Annie.
Does she think it was only a "mistake", what was her take on events as hubbys book took off? How did she justify her actions? The drama of meeting and staying mute with hubby at the peir....A lot of material to work with.
Hope you give us "5000 Annies -but one original" tale soon
thanks for posting
by
Anonymous08/27/12
An Added Request
for a fuller picture of first Annie. Your story doesn't give her any real closure for her decision to declare to herself that Joe and AJ are "dead"! She still has a Spanish social security number, so let Maria and her daughters find her and have it out with her. There ought to be some closure there.
And using that name for your hero caused me (and I am sure some of the real Joe William's other devotees) to expect your hero to break into song at any time during one of the interviews. Thanks for a VERY good tale with some excellent advice on building good marrital relationships.
To start off with the original Annie is the 500# gorilla in the room that has not been resolved in this story. Her rationalization in abandoning AJ has not been answered unless we are to assume that she went completely out of her mind. Harry was the hero of this story and the story embellishments of his worked him everyway a story could. I felt so good that a man completely eviscerates of all sense of self could emerge to celebrity almost superhero status. The buildup around the central character went thru the roof.
The original Annie begs to have her story told. I can't imagine a character being so dark and despicable without being explained or redeems. This clouded the story and served as a distraction from the feel goodness of this story. Perhaps Annie could reachout someway in a sequel. Please qhml1 give this a consideration
by
Anonymous01/01/13
Almost
Unsatisfactory resolution with the Ex. Not realistic to have her be able to pack up and leave so quickly (big-time deposits on apartments in Europe), only the rich have that sort of freedom. Realistic for him to regress to passive-agressive joking with her, he should have gained the nads to walk around and face her, since he's so good at communication now. Her silence only fits in if she was a tremendous egomaniac who couldn't admit her mistake. Thats not an overwhelming theme in ch. 1. Except for that, good story, a bit much with the descriptions of the blessings of wealth on the family.
by
Anonymous01/02/13
Great
Once of the best stories I have read on Literotica. Thank You
Throughly enjoyed all of these even though I only just discovered them, like your style of writing and the way you tell your tale keep up the good work.
English
Great Read*****
Thanks for sharing.
Good ending to the story although shaving off Maria's bush is a crime against nature and should be suitably punished. The episode with Annie in Spain is interesting, as there is something seriously wrong there if you accept the character as written. Not a trained professional and I did not stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night, but Annie's behavior would seem to indicate some deep seated issues. Is she in any way based on a real person?
WHEN LOOKING AT THE SNOWFLAKES
there is always one for me alone. TK U MLJ LV NV
I did not agree with this statement
"Well there it is. A little slow perhaps, but I'll try a little harder next time." It was as close to perfection as one could hope for. The confrontation with Annie in Spain made perfect sense. Let us say you had a good marriage but got bored. Then you ran away to Spain with another. That other leaves you in a short period of time. Four years later your now very wealthy and successful spouse shows up. What do you say? What can you say? It only reinforces the negative feelings of guilty you have that come from throwing it all away. Silence is the best revenge.
This story was pretty much Lifetime Channel Level Llt pablum for men with ONE EXCEPTION.
I really admired the depiction of the attempted tete-a-tete with the ex. It went against all my expectations, but when I thought about it, it made sense, by & large.
Was it congruent a mother could shun her only child? Well, life is funny. She perhaps lost her sense of self and began a descent after the daughter left for college . The choice was made to invest herself wholly to her lover & her art. Then when he left - just the art. I know artists of varying degrees of talent like this .
Family ties seemed superfluous to her & she became self absorbed. In my mind,
, she didn't talk because there was nothing left of the wife/ mother that used to be. Silence was the most eloquent answer to give absolute notice of this transformation. Very, very Nice ...that part.
Nice Ending
A little over the top with the Oscars and the golden globes but it added an extra notoriety for the character. A previous comment nailed the original Annie to a t. I'd just like to add in my inimitable way that she was a cunt skank. She deserves to be alone and on the move.
All in all, a great series. I look forward to more.
The things we do for our kids
Annie proved how much of a low class slut she was and got what she deserved. 5****
Dear Joseph
You made my life a living hell! How the hell can I speak to the man who ruined my life?
My name was a public record. You put my goddamned picture on the back of your book! Did you know that your book has been translated into Spanish? Do you know how many English people vacation in Spain? Did you know your book was a best seller there as well?
Do you want to know how many times I've had someone ask me who I was? I've had to change my name, my shape and my hair just to have any sense of privacy. I've had curious people look me up. And then YOU happened to rub things in.
And you know what? I did it to myself as well. I started this catastrophe and you get to glide out of it as this super hero while I am forever theis heartless villainess. I'M NOT A BAD PERSON! I made a MISTAKE and now I'm going to suffer for it as long as you are famous.
Annie.
Movie Deal
Ya know? Witth the right screen play and director this could be a pretty decent movie.
Great Series!!! 6****
Too bad there is not a special rating for outstanding stories. I have enjoyed this series immensely.
Very pleased you didn't write a showdown with slut Annie. Especially the usual dribble of "I made a mistake", "I'm so sorry", "Can't we try to work it out?" Geez it gets old.
This series was a breath of fresh air. Thank You!!
To write a Good Romantic Revenge Story is the biggest chalange for good writers.......
Naturaly I give 5*****, but the story became a half succesful Romantic Revenge story, because AJ's sadness was in the center of the story and not Annie's problem. The EMOTIONAL burnt down was not shown in the story only the exwife's loneliness. This may have been the center of the Romantic Revenge the loneliness unsucesful love relation, but to show AJ's sadness wronged the Romantic Revenge situation. In Vulcez excellent Romantic Revenge Story "Choices Made", where the egoistic mother and exwife was succesful burnt down at the end of the story. Or in Azpiri's "Shattered Ch 03." fantastic Romantic Revenge Situation where the Author burnt down the exwife emotionaly at the end of the story. Or a debated Author's story Matt Moreau's story "Madifan and Jessica Carlisle", where Jessica goes to the succesful Madigen after the TV talk show to admit her third husband and father of her children Jimmy is egzactly same man is as Madigan was/is (the majority of the readers do not detect the excellent Romanticf Revenge situation)............ Here the Romantic Revenge was not well written. I think after finding Annie only AJ should have start any connection to her mother and Joe gets information about the meeting and his exwife from his daughter. I think a mother daughter encounter would have been more succesful for showing the Romantic Revenge..............I think to write a Romantic Revenge Story is the most difficult, either the majority of the readers do not recognize or the the Author mix not well or spoil it at the end as Matt Moreau did with "An Unacceptable Situation ", where if the Author had not written the second wife's bank service action at the story end the story would have been the one of the best Romantic Revenge story (but it would not have dangered Vulzez's story "How are You?" at all). What is it like a good Romantic Revenge story? I recommend Coaster2's story on SOL (storiesonline.net) "Once Upon a Fantasy", or StanStar06' story "Love is for Suckers" but the best Romantic Revenge Story remains forever me Vulzez's story "How are You?"..................................
And I thought I could get carried away.
My fantasies can be elaborate, but this tops them. Winning Oscars, best sellers, once Annie left, it was nothing but clear sailing and money and fame. If she had left ten years sooner the guy would have ruled the world! I still question the format where this was a public interview. He discussed his wife's breasts and their love making, which seemed beyond the normal book discussion. Well written, except for that plot hole, in my opinion.
What it was
Amusing, mildly emotional. Unapologetically ludicrous. The very definition of fantasy.
Not my thing, personally, but it is what it is.
Not Finished
Great story. Now need to know more about Annie.
Can understand how love for someone can cause one to give up everything to be with that person. People cheat even where the penalty is death for doing so. Problem with loving and cheating is that you don't really know the other person. A few furtive hours per week, most spent sexing, does not allow a depth of knowledge. When the dream fantasy of life together meets the day to day reality of living together, combined with guilt, there are bound to be problems.
Annie was conservative and constrained. Could it be that guilt and shame and an inability to stop the affair caused her to leave as she did? Was it self punishment which would not allow contact with old life? Did she put on weight to further punish herself and reduce sex appeal?
The best of the LW stories have an emotional punch. I think a story about Anne, as a guilt ridden wife who has to finally let go to face herself daily, would be wonderful.
Amazing!
The format was certainly original, well thought out and perfectly executed. It was clever how you mostly avoided the detailed stories of all the Annies and Joes, yet it was the glue that held the whole presentation together.
Many loose ends and untied knots, but let the critics rant. It was entertaining well beyond expectations, and this Epilogue a truly unexpected bonus. You've not only set the bar high for other authors, but amazingly high for yourself.
Looking forward to you next story.
good story all around
.... but the middle portion was over kill. All of the sucess, contract movies, oscars nomination across the board, Required reading etc. A movie, award screen writer that another book and coporate speaker would suffice.
Nice touch @ end with meeting of Annie. I was able to visualize the meeting of te exs the scene vividly. Would like to hear some dialogue between her and joe but that my opinion.
Five for series this chapter low four
Reading this was like eating salt.....
The more I ate, the sicker I got. Please let this be last installment.
The first chapter was great, I'll give you that. And then it dried up. I was hoping it would get better but it never did.
Enjoyed it
The scene with Annie, the painter, was truly impressive, both as a creative moment and as a dramatic moment.
They should have included protect of Marie's breast from the sun's rays in the pre-nup.
Thanks for all the hard work....
Cancer
QHML forgot to include the part where 'Joe' discovered that eating guavas and artichokes TOGETHER (same meal or snack) was an instant cure for breast cancer AND prostate cancer! No side-effects, cheap and easy (but a remarkably nasty taste-combination ... almost as bad as durian.) The Nobel prize decision was a 'gimme' the next year!
WHY Annie could NOT turn around....
FD45 and KELCHA analysis or insight of Annie is somewhat flawed
The speculation about the reasons regarding annie's inability to turn around and face him and have one last conversation is pretty darn important as it is the key to understanding her behavior here.
The very act of turning around and facing him even if only for 30 seconds would mean that Annie would have to turn around and face HER decisions... catastrophically bad decisions as it turned out... that she made. Seeing pictures of her own grandchildren which seemingly would be relatively harmless ... would
FORCE her to to recognize that she cannot see them and/ or watch them grow.
There is a deep and serious character flaw here that no amount of therapy could ever possibly fix . Annie is such a weak willed and seriously flawed person that she is willing to not even acknowledge her own children and grandchildren rather than face the choice is she made.
My thoughts
This story was well written, developed in a good way with interesting characters and was of a very original premise. All things being equal it was a great story. But it didn't appeal to me personally. I just didn't like the guy and I don't know why. Strange thing when your subjective clashes with your objective.
Like it but....
I've read and like your story. It is well writen and has emotional impact. BUT... it doesn't belong in erotica. Granted you put some erotic scenes into it, but this is a basic loved, lost, love... story. As a story goes, it has a lot of merit, as erotica goes... it falls a bit flat. As for the comments about the orignal Annie, I thought that was handled rather well. Granted again you are going to run afoul of the Burn The B***h crowd that frequents this site. As a story I'd give it a five, as erotica, I could only give it a two. So I'll refrain from voting on this one so I don't sink a good story. I just wish there was a good site to put these well told, but not erotic stories on.
Keep writing
Myhands316
As he entered the dentists office......
he found himself surrounded by unicorns and a rainbow filled sky. Great fantasy story for all us 'average' guys past our prime. As for Annie...what comes after lust, bad decisions, embarassment, lack of self worth, and depression? Hated her in the beginning...sad for her in the end and in her probable ending. 5 stars overall but a prenup with 1000,000? Thanks for the read.
Psssssssst....
is the sound of the air going out of this story. Things just keep getting miraculously better for our hero. The epilogue at least had a couple of mildly dramatic moments-the pre-nup (basically a misunderstanding), and the confrontation that wasn't. It was ok. The wife became an even bigger enigma than before. Rather unbelievable.
Oh well....
too bad he didn't toss annie and her easel
And her crappy painting off the pier. Love this story.
Good series weak epilogue
Rather than waste words on the fantasy ending with Oscars and the like, I'd of preferred a more realistic view of how he and Annie went wrong. How she started her affair and the what happened to her. They didn't have to talk. You could have (and still can) write a chapter from her POV. I didn't like Joe all that much at the end. No point in screaming at the poor woman at that point.
Try to stay in the realm of reality in your next story. I think the first chapter struck home because it seemed real. The story then floundered between filler and fantasy. Keep writing. You have talent.
the whole series i would rate as a 4.5
as for Annie she is the original slut pig whore who ran off with a greasy slime ball and after being fed his slime for several months he takes her for what ever can free pussy when someone else is paying all the bills but not me can you say kept MUD HEN he is gone and she knows she is a used useless untalented slut. and JOE has set the world afire and rubbed it in with out saying a word .Annie is a worthless piece of slime and we only hope she receives her just reward oh ya she has.
really good
story nice read and entertaining. there are only 2 problems. Nr. 1 another one already mentioned. he would be ruined by a good lawyer having the picture of the real Annie on the book cover. Nr. 2 comes with the prejudice, that is the biggest human myth, that women can communicate. it is true, men can drink without beeing thirsty and women can talk without having a subject. But.....you proved it with your own story here , women can't communicate if it comes to serious problems. Annie just walked away and even years after not a word not even to her daughter. And his knew wife ? At the first critical moment in there short history she already refuses him for a whole week . So as nice as the story was, so wrong it was also. All the decisions were made women. Annie , his knew wife, his woman lawyer and all the drama without a word. Before the spanish confrontation of Annie you could have made a perfect end to this story because without Annie this story is open. Now you rushed a bit this chapter and I really wonder how you will get your ass out of your own trap. :-)
loved that
the cow got fat, boyfriend left after nione months and she was so ashamed she hid, would not turn around, and did not even look at the pictures. burn the bitch down.
Sheer fantasy with the Oscars and such (going a tad overboard...). The final "confrontation" with Annie was...I dunno.
Personally, I think Annie was too ashamed to face Joe, and her daughter.
As for FD45's post, oh my gods, he's right. Joe literally wrote a bestselling book (and movie too) defaming her character and person (and putting her PICTURE on the book? WTF.). Basically he utterly destroyed Annie forever in the public opinion. She has become The Most Hated Woman in America.
Normally speaking, cheating wives do not garner much public outcry. Wife cheated on you? Sucks, but it happens. Unless you're both celebrities and every step is followed, the average guy and girl won't be up in arms over some guy's wife cheating on him. They don't know him and her, and they won't care.
This however...With his book, Joe MADE them care about it, and HATE Annie for the pain and suffering Joe went through, even though they have NEVER met Annie. I would not be surprised at all if years later, Annie came back, and some granny assaults her with her cane because she was recognized as "Annie from that book".
What Annie did to Joe and her family, CAN be recovered from (as Joe evidently did), but what Joe did (making Annie hated by millions).......how the heck do you "recover" from that? There won't be a future for her where her deeds are "in the past", because that book will still be there. No matter how many years pass, or how she's changed, she will always be "Annie from that book". It's disproportionately worse, in my opinion.
If I'm being cynical, I'd say Annie didn't turn around and acknowledge Joe because if she did, she'd freaking stab him in the face for destroying her life with his book.
Nice work but it still doesn't explain the ex-wives actions... that is a definite minus regarding this epilogue. As to the ex-wife… I completely agree with FD45 and Mousse9: Annie the Ex will be forever tainted in the public eye because of what she did… putting her photo on the cover was a bit of a mean thing to do… and might even have been illegal as it was done without authorisation of the depicted… could lead to a huge claim.
You know you are going to have to do it.
What was with Annie? As you wrote, men and women desert each other all the time. But to ignore the chance to see a child and even more, a grandchild she had never seen? Was she so ashamed that she couldn't face AJ? Was she such a bitch that she didn't care? Or was she afraid of her own emotions if she saw her daughter and granddaughter? Emotional pain that she hadn't been with them and couldn't be with them in the future? You've got to give us your answer so please try not to take too awfully long to write it. Please.
We need another epilogue
Where he has cured cancer or found the secret of life. This story really did turn out bad from a very good start. Ah well maybe next time.
Top Marks
I was of the mind that the story didn't need an epilogue but I am glad that you did end up writing it as it closed all the open threads of the story nicely.
What about Annie?
Loved the story. Only thing nagging at me is,,,ANNIE!!! MUST have closure!
the big problem is still the ex
She is a cypher,neither the bitch or the penitant. If she is angry at joe why snub the dsughter? It almost seems like she still blames him for everything that happened and has retreated into her own bitter world. Course we knew her affair was doomed,a spanish painter?Maybe her guilt from a repressed background caused her to break....but she is a cypher not a character and is irritating in a story full of out there stuff.
Others are right putting the exs pic on the book would never happen,the publisher would never do it without a release.....I don't think that is why she wouldn't talk to him,i think she is just a bitter wreck and blames him and the d for her f up.
For one commenter he doesn't say women communicate better,he explicitly says women need to express their needs,men can't read your mind.
Do they have "Homeless People" in the Socialist Democratic State of Spain? If so, then that's where Annie No. 1 should end up.
She has no socially redeeming qualities.
How to organize a meeting?????
I wrote in my earlier comment. The meeting organizing was managed with awful method. AJ and her mother should have meet but the exhusband as the story showed. Not to react for the exhusband I can understand well. If AJ would have gone to meet her mother the refuse would have been less % likely...............Low % mothers abandon her children and grandchildren. The exhusband exwife encounter was a natural law catastropha and the Author only showed us how should not have organized a meeting. Annie decide on not react her exhusband to save her psyche, which was already injured her mistake....................Nobody wants to swim voluntary in the sewage water.................
Meeting.............
Had I have AJ's father, I would have assisted AJ to pay the PI, to take everybody to Spain, but I would have paied a room for AJ and the grandchild in an other Hotel far to our Hotel and to organize the meeting Annie with AJ and the grandchild ONLY......What a different!
If Annie refused the connection with her daughter and grandchild I would join to the other posters about Annie's psychical state....................
Apology
I am sorry: Had I been Father of AJ..........
regarding the ex
i agree with njlauren. i understand that the story isnt about her, but such a... rabid.. exclusion from the story is just weird. unless you intend to have her featured in another story, hmmm?
Wow
Certainly not what I would expect to read on this site. I couldn't put it down. Wish 500 Annie's actually existed and was required reading. Thank you for contributing this.
Jo
It was ok
I would've liked to hear more about the ex wife, I understand the story isn't about her but it kind of is . I just think by it being in the loving wives section I as a reader would've loved to have read more about her especially in the end, the meeting with the ex was short & rushed while you took your time writing about Maria. The other issue I have regarding this story is what was the point of the pre-nup if the new wife Maria could walk away with everything he's worked for? It seems like a waste of ink as well as paper & time to me. The lawyer was right he should've protected himself more, I thought the pre-nup was moronic since he wasn't really protected, I also don't understand why Maria was do upset with him for the first pre-nup? If she really loved him & wasn't marrying him for his money what was the big deal? She'd get $1 million in the event of divorce, what, did she think she deserved more? Maybe it's just me but if I was this guy & I've been burnt by a chic I'd make sure my $30 million was intact in case of divorce.... Yeah yeah they were in love but people fall out of love all the time. These are the two issues I had regarding this story but I still enjoyed it even though it left me a bit unfulfilled.
FD45, Harry in VA & Mousse9
All have fine coments about the orginal x-Annie.
Most posters also want to know "the rest of the original X-Annie story". You have a built in sequel/part 4/Prequel if you pen a POV from orginal x-Annie.
Does she think it was only a "mistake", what was her take on events as hubbys book took off? How did she justify her actions? The drama of meeting and staying mute with hubby at the peir....A lot of material to work with.
Hope you give us "5000 Annies -but one original" tale soon
thanks for posting
An Added Request
for a fuller picture of first Annie. Your story doesn't give her any real closure for her decision to declare to herself that Joe and AJ are "dead"! She still has a Spanish social security number, so let Maria and her daughters find her and have it out with her. There ought to be some closure there.
And using that name for your hero caused me (and I am sure some of the real Joe William's other devotees) to expect your hero to break into song at any time during one of the interviews. Thanks for a VERY good tale with some excellent advice on building good marrital relationships.
RE HIV
Not sure if Harry is right, but Damn good comment!
wow what a feel good story
To start off with the original Annie is the 500# gorilla in the room that has not been resolved in this story. Her rationalization in abandoning AJ has not been answered unless we are to assume that she went completely out of her mind. Harry was the hero of this story and the story embellishments of his worked him everyway a story could. I felt so good that a man completely eviscerates of all sense of self could emerge to celebrity almost superhero status. The buildup around the central character went thru the roof.
The original Annie begs to have her story told. I can't imagine a character being so dark and despicable without being explained or redeems. This clouded the story and served as a distraction from the feel goodness of this story. Perhaps Annie could reachout someway in a sequel. Please qhml1 give this a consideration
Almost
Unsatisfactory resolution with the Ex. Not realistic to have her be able to pack up and leave so quickly (big-time deposits on apartments in Europe), only the rich have that sort of freedom. Realistic for him to regress to passive-agressive joking with her, he should have gained the nads to walk around and face her, since he's so good at communication now. Her silence only fits in if she was a tremendous egomaniac who couldn't admit her mistake. Thats not an overwhelming theme in ch. 1. Except for that, good story, a bit much with the descriptions of the blessings of wealth on the family.
Great
Once of the best stories I have read on Literotica. Thank You
Excellent Series
Throughly enjoyed all of these even though I only just discovered them, like your style of writing and the way you tell your tale keep up the good work.
5*
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