by ArtemisLover
EDIT!!! Just in the first 4-5 lines there are words missing from the sentences, not to mention grammar and punctuation. I gave up reading about half way through.
This was great, but you need to edit and cut the paragraphs a bit shorter. Still I thought it was one of the best on the site, at least recently. So keep up the good writing, but edit the damn thing.
Hard to see where you're going with this, but it's got potential.