All Comments on 'A Dark Night with a Dark Stranger'

You have a really great story coming along here. I hope you keep writting :)

I am liking it so far....please keep going

Haha, the little boy saying please, I would have laughed in his face, didn't she just say the same thing 2 seconds ago. Yet another reason I carry a gun, to kill stupid people. Can't wait to see what happens next.

You need a comma when you connect two independent clauses with "and". You need a semicolon to connect two independent clauses without a conjunction. You have literally dozens of these errors on this first page. It is an interesting story, but I won't be able to continue reading if I have to tolerate this many grammatical errors. Please, learn the basic rules of punctionation or find a good editor.

on your first story. I just discovered it today when I saw that chapter 2 had posted. I really like the whole premise of your story. Bell is saved from a violent attack only to now be held by the one who saved her. Ok so he is a vampire and must now protect her. Not just because she knows his secret but because other vamps will try and kill her because she knows of their existence. I going to chapter 2 now!!!!

I truly hope this continues!! Great story

If your going to be a cry baby and you can not because of shit like that then do not brother reading it at all. Your only here to complain and nobody cares about hearing your whining so get over it.

To the comment below, did you read your own fucking comment? You need to go back to school, you're worse than the writer of this story and the 'grammar freak' is right and was only giving CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.

To the writer, please take that comment by the 'grammar freak' as it is meant, they are right, you do have an interesting story though, looking forward to seeing more.

Thank you for all the comments I have received. As for the grammar errors I am sorry! I will take this on board and hope to fix them! Sorry- first time writing! Also the chapter one for this series is simply 'A dark night with a Dark stranger. There is no ch 01 in front of it.

Thanks!

The story is good, Just finished the second and look foward to the next. All this comma here stuff never fazed my reading, I flow. Please hurry with the next, can't wait to see how things work out for them.

No jack ass what annoyed me was the second to last sentance, the tolorate part. That is what I found unneeded in the comment, it seemed a nasty thing to say and it pissed me off. And, FYI, I am not a writer, nor do I care about your little rant to me, you amuse me. Nothing is wrong with helpful comments to get an editor, but that one part was cruel. Other than that, I am not brothered and no more school is needed so, bite me.

you got what you paid for.

If you want a professional story you need to pay a little more.

I find this link helpful for comma usage - (they also have a list of other punctation and grammar assistance) http://www.michigan-proficiency-exams.com/comma-usage.html and here is what they say about commas using compound sentences (with and, but, or, etc.) - "In compound sentences before the connectors.

I know him, and he knows me.

This usage is becoming dated and some now consider it improper." I copied this directly from their site.

So you can decide which you prefer. When I edit, I take a lot into consideration with this rule - such as the length of the sentence, what is being expressed, etc.

Try also to take into consideration that there are a lot of anonymous people on this site who like to criticize. They remain anonymous so that way no one can contact them to discuss their rude comments. Try to take them with a grainof salt. Your story is good and I did not have a hard time reading it and I edit for many well known authors on the site.

I look forward to more of the story.

If you feel like reading this series go ahead but to warn you, she gets 17 chapters in and stops leaving you hanging with nothing! Great series but pisses me off that there is no ending just when it gets good.