All Comments on 'Slavery Ch. 09'

Surprising chapter. I'm at a loss for words. Totally unexpected.

I didn't expect him to treat her as such. He does have a point though, he could've treated her like that, treated her as his property, and been uncaring for her needs. She doesn't have a choice in the life she has, she has to make ado with what she has available. It hurt me to read what he had done to her. Though, I suppose, to know how others may have treated her compared to him helps her understand how he kinda felt for her in the beginning. I just hope things get better for her and that she doesn't do anymore silly things. Even though the story was more painful, I enjoyed reading it. There are always up and downs, I just hope there is a happy ending to this story. Please continue!

Stockholm syndrome and rapist.

I think that what she did to kalen was hurtful. He really loves her, and for her to sleep with another man that's a slap in the face. I hope that in the end she really starts to fall for kalen. He's a sweetheart( except when he did the whole bdsm thing).

I'm sorry but if she could sit there and cheat on him and not appreciate how much he loves her and looks after her then she deserves a bit of harsh treatment. I was so sad to read it but I wanted to slap her silly when she cheated on him! I think this will teach her to appreciate Kalen more and she really should because he could have been a right meany but he never has been to her. I really hope for a happy ending with them though... I love this idea of Kalen trying to do human things and ask her on a date! How cute is that!!!! Lets hope she doesn't screw up anymore... but she does seem to be a bit dappy so who knows? I love this story! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Yes she cheated, but at least that was her choice. Lets not forget she is still a slave - whether he loves her or not. I really hated Kalen for awhile during this chapter. Fabulous chapter!

why did she do that with the other person? it was not needed

Interesting chapter! Yes she cheated but she is enslaved and her relationship with he general was more a natural thing whereas with Kalen there was no choice. Yep he is good to her and does love her but after all she has been through no wonder she is confused! This chapter certainly gave several twists to the story, interesting behavior from Kalen. Hopefully they are going to start anew now, the right way. Thank you.

Kalen's lesson was cruel but short. He forgives easily. I can't say I feel sorry for Alana though. She was an idiot and knowingly did something that would hurt him. Kalen was beaten for defending her, fought to take her with him to a safer place, tried to make her comfortable with earth things... and she betrayed him. I've lost almost all respect for her and right now, I'm having a hard time liking the character at all.

That's a dangerous thing in a story, because she is going to have to win me back. Right now, the only character I care about is Kalen and that isn't always enough to keep one's interest in the story.

You must have been reading my mind as I was going to comment along the same lines but you have said it for me and probably better than I could have put it.

Whether the relationship with the general was natural or not, if she had stayed he wouldnt have been able to maintain her. He didn't have the means to provide her with that pink lotion to heal quickly. Had it not been for the gracious doctor, she still would'be been in pain. Just saying. Also, can't wait to see how the date goes!

Even if he does manage to get her to be IN love with him, they are going back to his home planet a place he has a WIFE so where would that leave her?

Like alot of others so far im dissappointed with Alana. I find it hard to get over the fact that she cheated on him. If she would have really thought about the situation she was in she should have realised how lucky she is. I mean to get a master like kalen that loves you is the best thing possible. She could have easily got some sadistic bastard and gone through the rest of her life in pain. Seems sometimes shes not the sharpest tool in the shed. Oh well would like to see her behave better or at least embrace the situation she finds herself in with more sense but hey its your story and im happy to just be reading it and cant wait for the next chapter to come and see what happens.

What a fantastic chapter .. my emotions are all over the place. I agree with cantfightfate, Alana is an idiot. I really hate how quickly and often she slutted to T'arik. She thought Kalen wouldn't find out? She's so ungrateful after Kalen has saved her so many times.

I cringed at Kalen's treatment of Alana, but he really does forgive her too quickly. Crap, while he was being beaten and tortured she was screwing around with T'arik. And he was smart enough not to bring her to Zeve as requested.

Right now I can't imagine how Kalen (or I) will ever trust her again.

The fact that she chose to go with him after he asked her if she wanted to stay, should mean something to him. He brutalized her simply to soothe his own ego.

Excellent chapter! I'm so steamed up with this chapter, and I rarely even get into these stories that much!

He treats her like a servant, makes her watch him pleasure another female, then rips and tears her, and then leaves her to fend for herself for 3 days? All for his quest to make her feel as betrayed as he felt? Not flying atall with me.

PUULEESE you cannot allow these two back together. The only free choice she has made over her body was when she had sex with T'arik. All the kindness she's shown to Kaelen were based on self preservation and complete dependence.

He didn't just brutalize her simply to soothe his own ego katgoddess1. He did it to prove a point and from what I have seen of her actions so far, it is the only way to get through to her that he could have treated her like that from the beginning. Instead he treated her with as much tenderness as he is capable of. Hopefully she now gets that! Although I have my doubts.

the story is progressing horribly indeed !!

1. Anonymous 08/25/12 “the story is progressing horribly indeed !!”

2. Anonymous 08/25/12 I think “I think that what she did to kalen was hurtful. He really loves her, and for her to sleep with another man that's a slap in the face.”

3. Anonymous 08/25/12 stupid girl “why did she do that with the other person? it was not needed”

4. willieone BTW “Even if he does manage to get her to be IN love with him, they are going back to his home planet a place he has a WIFE so where would that leave her?”

5. Anonymous 08/25/12 Serves her right! “I'm sorry but if she could sit there and cheat on him and not appreciate how much he loves her and looks after her then she deserves a bit of harsh treatment. I was so sad to read it but I wanted to slap her silly when she cheated on him! I think this will teach her to appreciate Kalen more and she really should because he could have been a right meany but he never has been to her.... Lets hope she doesn't screw up anymore... but she does seem to be a bit dappy so who knows?....”

6. mapili50 “I really hate how quickly and often she slutted to T'arik. She thought Kalen wouldn't find out? She's so ungrateful after Kalen has saved her so many times. …… Crap, while he was being beaten and tortured she was screwing around with T'arik. And he was smart enough not to bring her to Zeve as requested. Right now I can't imagine how Kalen (or I) will ever trust her again.”

7. willieone I don't agree “He didn't just brutalize her simply to soothe his own ego katgoddess1. He did it to prove a point and from what I have seen of her actions so far, it is the only way to get through to her that he could have treated her like that from the beginning. Instead he treated her with as much tenderness as he is capable of. Hopefully she now gets that! Although I have my doubts.”

8. Edwarus So “Like alot of others so far im dissappointed with Alana. I find it hard to get over the fact that she cheated on him. If she would have really thought about the situation she was in she should have realised how lucky she is. I mean to get a master like kalen that loves you is the best thing possible. She could have easily got some sadistic bastard and gone through the rest of her life in pain. Seems sometimes shes not the sharpest tool in the shed. Oh well would like to see her behave better or at least embrace the situation she finds herself in with more sense…”

9. cantfightfate He's too good to her “Kalen's lesson was cruel but short. He forgives easily. I can't say I feel sorry for Alana though. She was an idiot and knowingly did something that would hurt him. Kalen was beaten for defending her, fought to take her with him to a safer place, tried to make her comfortable with earth things... and she betrayed him. I've lost almost all respect for her and right now, I'm having a hard time liking the character at all.

That's a dangerous thing in a story, because she is going to have to win me back. Right now, the only character I care about is Kalen and that isn't always enough to keep one's interest in the story.”

I loved it. I can see his point. She had to see what being a true slave was like, how he could have been treating her the entire time. I loved it and actually I'm even more in love with Kalen which is odd because I was really starting to dislike him in the middle of this chapter rape is never a good punishment, he left her food, water, facilities, really the only thing she was lacking was him and she deserved that. You always have me spellbound. Can't wait to see the next curve ball you throw us

Poor Alana it must be hard and confusing for her, the new life she as to adjust to.

This was the first chapter of the story I read and its amazing. You have me hooked and I'm going to go back and read all the chapters. I hate how Kalen treated Alana but she deserved part of it for cheating on him. She definitely did not like it when he fucked another woman. I hope after the short and cruel lesson she gets how good she's had it. I also hope he will not stop loving her and really gives her a second chance. Hopefully she truly opens up to him now.

So excited for the next chapter!!!!

One the one hand, I have a hard time sympathizing for those female characters that have two men interested in them, and are in a relationship with one of the men, but then give in to temptation and cheat. Even kissing is cheating and she and T'Arik did much more than that. On the other hand, she is considered a slave owned by the man she "cheated" on, and the concept of slavery is so abhorrent you could make the argument by sleeping with T'Arik she was rebelling against the notion that anyone could "own" her. But then this idea gets thrown out the window when she takes the ultimate easy way out by telling T'Arik that she "belongs" to the other man and that's the reason she can't stay with him. I just don't get it. It's like she couldnt resist T'Arik's being so attracted to her and his gentleness in contrast to Kalen, but when it came down to it still chose Kalen without admitting to herself the reason being she really cares about him more. To me, in a good story people shouldn't be able to have it all ways and get away with it. I suppose that's why Kalen then made her jealous.

Loved it!!! Please let things work out for them.

I feel sorry for Kalen. He is in love with Alana but for her the way he shows his feelings and tenderness has been too rough.

And I feel sorry for Alana, she fell for the first one who was gentle and kind to her on a level she understood.

Both of them are damned if they do, damned if they don't.

These last few chapters have been up and down. I loooooved the tenderness between Alana and the General.... But my heart is with Kalen! Please keep writing!

Some of these comments are insane! This delightfully misunderstood 'hero' just brutalised, raped and left the heroine without medical attention or food for three days. He then ties her up, beats her and rapes her again to prove what a great master he is - and she is supposed to deserve it for 'cheating' on him and 'hurting his feelings', WTF?

Alana has been forcibly enslaved, terrified and assaulted since her abduction. She (unsurprisingly) had a brief relationship with T'arik, the only man who has actually treated her like a person - showing her friendship, respect and kindness.

Her feelings for her 'master' are classic Stockholm syndrome. He leaves her battered, covered in bruises and scabs; he is already married and he has now screwed at least one other woman in front of her as 'punishment'. If that is his love I would be terrified to see his hate. The 'why do you make me hurt you' defence is pathetic and typical of abusers everywhere.

I don't get all these "blame the victim" comments from people. It's okay to brutalize her horribly, all to make a point?

I don't know if I can like Kalen after this chapter. He was despicable. My answer to if he treats her as if he owns her is yes! He often didn't give her a choice when it came to sex. He took his pleasure even when she wanted him to stop. It can always be worse so that proves nothing. So now she's supposed to be grateful that it wasn't worse?

Slave owners use and abuse their slaves. If you accepted your feelings for a slave you would not be able to keep them as a slave. Franklin only ever released 7 of his 200 [ at the time of his death ] slaves. 7 females of the unknown number he raped, [you can only rape a slave as they have no choice]. They were lucky enough to get pregnant so he released them. There is no right of wrong way to treat a slave. No slave should exist. This is a storey, [ which I can enjoy as I leave my moral judgements out] reality has been much worse. Before and during Roman times over 1,000,000 slaves were taken from Briton. There were/are? many non black slaves. Although the numbers over a short time are greatest.

I really like your writing and I plan to check out your other pieces. However, I can't go on reading this series any more. While I can enjoy humiliation, rough sex, and other things, when it is not a consensual choice made out of mutual respect and devotion it just ends all excitement for me. I am posting this comment not as a negative, but just as constructive criticism--it basically comes down to this series reached a point that has broken my heart and made me feel kinda grody (is that even a word?) and I am bowing out now. As much as I know bowing out is the right choice for me, I appreciate and admire your writing and I hope your other pieces are just as well written. This chapter just crossed a line for me, but I do not stand in judgement of you or anyone who continues reading; this series is just no longer for me.

I just can't feel the love for Kalen anymore even if she was turned on ....it just crossed the line for me .

After this I'm not feeling the love for Kalen either. He went from loving her to using her to take the edge off like a whore before banging the willowy woman (not sure who she was in the scheme of things actually), to rough, abusive sex, and now he wants a date?????? It was a great story before this, but you've lost me.

Kalen only fucked Alana. I could see how some people would think 'I didn't cheat,' when in actuality, by sharing safe, 'intimate' moments w/the silver haired female, it was in fact just as hurtful and betraying as actually fucking the woman. Really hard to trust after betrayal, both his and hers.

The following PUNISHMENT however, is not only not conducive towards trust, it is worse than betrayal. During that part of the story, I could imagine Alana saying 'just fucking kill me' to Kalen. Cuz trust is gone. When she cheated on him, she never threatened HIS health or life. We are all responsible for our OWN individual actions and REactions.

His betrayal is greater. And a date is not enough.

I can understand Alana developing feelings for Tarik I just wish the process and why was explained better. Then when she starts having a physical relationship with him its like she forgets all the feelings she has for Kalen, kind of putting him to the side and wishing to stay with Tarik. I would expect more turmoil about her feelings of Kalen vs Tarik. When she is with Kalen she seems so devoted to him and then suddenly when she was with Tarik, Kalen is put aside..its just a little weird and makes her seem fickle. I can rationalize the why she would pick Tarik but felt the story needed a better setup for the situation.

On another note: Sometimes when I see the male protagonist treating the female like crap I wish that instead of always forgiving him like usual she would like turn off..turn colds towards him until he makes up for it. I mean there is only so much one can take and sometimes a person can hurt so much that we give up and just shut down.

Well I am enjoying the story, might not agree with whats going on with Kalen right now and it chafes but its entertaining.

Rarely is Alana depicted acting in the role of a slave, and does not exhibit the mentality of one at all. Her thoughts don't reflect angst or her trying to come to terms with her situation or even her true acceptance of it. Without writing down her thoughts before she makes a decision and giving the reader the opportunity to understand her decision making process, she comes off as a static character and vapid. There was no fear of retribution before she slept with the General. There is no time spent trying to grasp the social culture, no long term survival planning, and no fear shown after this brutal chapter she's all a flutter and air headed so excited to go on her date. I like the story but this rough draft needs the dots connected if you seek to publish it in the future.

"Sometimes when I see the male protagonist treating the female like crap I wish that instead of always forgiving him like usual she would like turn off..turn colds towards him until he makes up for it. I mean there is only so much one can take and sometimes a person can hurt so much that we give up and just shut down."

YES!! My thoughts and feelings exactly. I was really hoping Alana would shut down for a while after Kalen raped her so brutally etc. or after the whipping. I'm so often hoping this would happen in these stories, so the male lead will have to take stock and really feel like shit about his actions, seeing that they've made the girl practically catatonic, and have to spend quite a few fearful days/weeks trying to coax her out of that state, or something along those lines... he's angry at the betrayal and wants to punish her, that's understandable, but I'd assume she'd feel the effects stronger than she is...

Whilst the tryst with Tarik seemed really flimsy and fickle of her, her giggliness so soon after being brutally torn inside by him etc. seems a little vapid and strange... there was a mention of her trying to distract herself with pretty rooms etc. to stop her mind going back to the rape, so perhaps we can assume that the damage is there, but she's trying to block it all....

...my wife and I were volunteer advisers for a NGO that attempted to supply safe-houses, medical care and other services for abused women and children.

All too often the women with long histories of abuse would allow themselves to be lured bock into the clutches of their abusers.

We were engaged in the futile attempt to make up for all the cutbacks in public safety personnel and financial assistance across the board of social services and community oriented law enforcement.

We live in a society that considers community service a judicial punishment. Charity and mercy are scorned as weakness. The predators who rule us have complete contempt for Humanity.

He is scum and she is far too trusting. She needs to get some personality and start to fight back or at least run. Sheesh!

While he was sleeping, I would’ve slipped a dagger through his ribs straight into his heart! You violently raped me, then perform some sort of messed up BDSM crap and then bring me flowers and I’m supposed to be cool with you? This story just took a trip to gross town!