The story line has been used hundreds of times on this site, but you did an adequate job. However, there were too many typographical errors. A good writer does not simply write a story; they craft it. They write and then they proofread and revise and proofread until the final story is much better than the first draft. You obviously have the qualities necessary to be a good writer. Please, use an editor to help you with the problems in the story.
that was a very good story !Liked it very much and hope you do more like it !
Your critics can bite it. This was a very believable rendition of the time honored boy meets sister story. Someone once said there are only seven stories in literature, so obviously many of the tales on this site are repeated in theme. I rarely read a story more than two pages and this one made me glad I did. Keep up the good work.
If you're referring to assholes who can't stand others having a different opinion (such as yourself), then you are correct.
I loved it! Brother/sister incest really turns me on....and I loved Samantha's little inuenndos at the dinner table, nice touch. I just wish the part where he was in her was longer. Is there going to be a sequel? I'd love to see them fuck in the shower... getting wetter just thinking about it
I had an older sister and a younger sister - nothing ever happened like this. I wish it had. Love your story... hope to read more - it's a long summer.
Enjoyable story, believable
Does sis have girl friends for bro?
I get tired of the whiny little pricks that can't stand to see, hear or read constructive criticism.
I really enjoyed your story and hope that you'll write additional chapters. In particular, I hope Amy will be brought back, maybe by Samantha bringing her as a surprise for her brother. Perhaps Amy could be the one for him if / when Samantha moves on...
Good story. Hope you continue it.
Great story. The typos take you out of the fantasy so be careful with those. The only thing lacking was a longer and more detailed sex scene at the end...perhaps some anal play in the next chapter?
Damn I loved it. Keep writing please.
I'd like to see the two of them get mom involved with then in a threesome, and fuck her like she has been needing it and hasn't been getting it from her husband for the last five years.
A good start and hope to see more soon.
Thanks for the read.
I do agree with the comment that obvious mistakes in the writing does take you away from the story but I have to say whether you have them or not I didn't notice them for the story was hot from beginning to end. I loved it and i honestly next to never read stories that are not Mother and Son. This sort of reminds me of my sister and our relationship. There was been sexual tension between us for years and subtle touches here and there but we never full blown did it....YET! Last time I touched her she was dry humping my hand that was on a chair. Mmmmm the memories!
You have a brilliant writing style, and I enjoyed the story very much. Your style is so good, in fact, that I didn't notice any of the spelling errors others have mentioned and I'm usually a stickler for that.
But I would request you not add the mother to the story, if you were ever going to. Every writer and their dog has done that story. If you do carry on the story I ask that you continue to keep it a secret, intense situations where someone almost gets caught is hotter than 'let's orgy while dad's on a business trip'.
But that's just me! Thanks very much for the story, I loved it!
All I can say is WOW! That story was great!
Definitely one of my favorites!
hot hot hot, awesome awesome awesome.
when those two got into each other i could practically feel it. when your body is enjoying reading a story like this, who gives a fuck whether the spelling is right? people who read a story like this and then complain about the spelling and grammar would take a free meal at a french restaurant and then complain about the salad dressing -- who cares what they think, i just loved reading the story.
i was glad that my hands weren't in casts while i was reading it :-)))
Hope you follow up with this one. It would be fun for Mom and Dad to catch them and join in the fun.
I hope that you don't follow that bred-in-a-barn advice and let the mother and father in too. One of the hot aspects of this story is that they're making love in secret, and its being secret (thrill of possibly being caught) is an arousing aspect of it. The love-making is a little tame. There should be some Oh, my Gods, Give it to mes, Harder!s, I love your cunts, scattered around. Don't go overboard as so many idiots on here do by using ALL CAPS, but just something to show that their fucking isn't just a polite philosophical discussion.
Love ya, baby. Clean up those typos and go for broke!
Anna in Eugene
you started off like an idiot if he had casts like you said how the hell could he grip the fleshlight? thats as bad as the idiots that have the guy with casts on his hands driving a car never happen in a million years.
you need too bring in the parents!!! other than that good!!
I think that too often on this site for some reason every story has to be a damned orgy. Now you have laid the ground work for a threesome with her friend but in my opinion I think to go much further than that is rehashing more of the same everyone else is doing. Just an opinion after all it is your story and make it what you want it to be.
PS it was really hot
everybody calm down
You gave us an erotic story with a special slant which I did enjoy.
Keep up the good work and avoid the pressures for yet another sordid unrealistic orgy which to my reading doesn't fit your characters.
I think it was a great story but it could have been longer and maybe even add a little twist at the end like they get caught by someone who decides not to expose them if they don't mind being watched. Maybe one or both parents find out and are cool with it; there's plenty you could add to leave it more open to the imagination or leave room for a part two. Just some ideas that could help make future stories better but I still loved this one
there had been a chapter 2
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