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Awful.
Get off the Internet and stay away from TV for a while. Read some actual books. Then try writing another "story".
I saw at Toronto U
You are the janitor with the limp and weak lip .
Alright
You could have made it better if you were gonna write a whole series but right now it just comes off as a stand alone narration of the events that have happened to him but all in all good plot and setup and if you are gonna make it a series you might wanna rewrite the first chapter a bit or if your just using as a quick way to introduce characters thats alright too also to the anon trashtalkers if you dont have critisism to help the author build on his writing skills and just slam him instead go somewhere else
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