by GuiltlessMiss
... I would have sworn that this was the first time you'd written anything.
But no, according to your list you've written several previous items!
I suggest you get help - a good Proof Reader and a good Editor!
Not a forum for perfect English compositions.
It's a good story. A good erotic story. I give it 5 Stars.
The comments by the anonymous contributor could have been better handled in a diplomatic manner in private feedback to the author.
well layed out story. "Fetish" category is wrong though. If this is a fetish story every one here is also! It would get read more and higher rated in the group sex category.
Keep at it!
Thank you ANONYMOUS for your feedback. This was one of my earlier pieces. Though it may not be up to your standards or the standards for publishing in book format, I felt it still had content that was worthy of reading. Please feel free to submit more detailed feedback if the composition of this piece rather than the content is that troublesome to you. There is a Feedback tab above, or you may post more comments. All writers for Literotica should know that they will not be easily judged by ANONYMOUS readers, and I am more than willing to share with them any info you may have. Thank you for your time, GM.
THANK YOU! I looked for a category like that but must have missed it. I appreciate the feedback. I resubmitted the story for the GROUP SEX category. See you there. -GM
What a summer birthday party--and the gifts were all home made.
Privates and William: Thank you, I appreciate the comments <3 and homemade gifts are the best!
Thank you so much for submitting this story. Brought back fond memories.