He Never Saw It Coming

Thanks***

For the read.

He deserved it.

The blackmailer deserved what he got. Was entertaining.

I don't usually like Revenge stories

But this one was very neat and the physical violence was minimal.

Nice

It was good revenge financially but the asshole got any with no physical impairments. I guess I can't be the pacifist like the last commenter. He at least deserved a good beating to say the least. I'll stop before I make myself seem too violent.

HA Ha ha

How?

How did the wife come to being blackmailed? Was she drugged or did she fuck Joel willingly? If she fucked him willingly, she is not was keeping and should be trashed right along with Joel. I didn't like this story. There's too many unanswered questions. 1 star

WHEN SOMEONE FUCKS WITH THE BULL

make sure the horns dont get you first, TK U MLJ LV NV

Seemed more of an overly-convenient outline than story

A creative revenge concept and satisfying in that way. Didn't feel like I really got to know the characters though. Why did the wife confess when she did, hubby's easy acceptance seems to lack credibility? Why the fuck scene? Confused and distracted and all too brief. A flash-story can be good, when it is focussed and real. This didn't qualify for me.

Too long to be a flash story , yet too concise & terse to be a bona fide short story !

First it must be conceded that this was a first class creative payback. The characters however had zero nuance or shading. I wish JPB had been given this plot line if he was in a BTB disposition. The author did mix in some humor and it'd apparent he accomplished exactly what he wanted .

Final Stand has no apparant lillusions about outdoing Tolstoy or O. Henry. I vote four stars & hope the author analyzes & compares his work to HDK , not to slavishly copy him but how a first class farce is presented. Fine read on the balance. Good Story overall - TY 2 F.S.

An interesting, modernized take on revenge and something that does not leave the victims exposed to the police. Of course the drug would have to leave no traces and not be followed back to the wronged husband?

I liked the story, but thought the intro was just a little too fast paced. The story needed more detail and emotion before starting the payback plan. I guess it fits as a flash story, perhaps a bit longer than some.

A very good story

By far the strongest aspect of the story was the revenge which also dominated the written lines as well. I agee with another comment that said the character development was very weak. This could have been expanded the reader is left with little explanation of the wife's insecurity in her marriage before the incident and why did she accept a man's aid to walk a couple of blocks after the party. Also we are told that the husband knew before the incident that the next door neighbor was a sexual predator but somehow magically the wife did not. Also why was it so extremely easy to blackmail a wife into sex when she though her marriage was dying anyway, where is the motivation to submit to blackmail. The last thing that seems an easy plot line in many of therse loving wive's stories is the husband travels to much even though the marriage depends on the income to survive the wife is left alone and gets creative with oter men. I really doubt this happens as often as it appears in these stories.
Most real marriages fail when the spouses are physically together.

written like a teenager

pimples, acne and immature fantasies. that's what this is. what are you, about 14?

Why wouldn't Joel go to the police?

The drugs would still be in his system so a test would prove that he'd been drugged and would have a case for getting his money back and sending the "loving couple to prison". There is no proof that he blackmailed her so there is no reason for Joel not to do this.
Also what's to stop him from getting revenge latter on, in six months to a years time he could quite easierly come back to the old neighbourhood and take a claw hammer to the wife or husband.
Last thing what was the sex scene all about it just seemed strange to say the least and a little bit impossible.

Good advice

Several very apt comments. I would only add that if the Predator is essentially left with NOTHING (except debt!), he will have almost NO choice except to go to police! His story might appear to be implausible to them, but his recent financial history will make it much more believable. No one will have seen him going on a bender at local bars, for example, and a blood test will find metabolites of the fictitious drug used against him! Everything done to him is well outside his normal financial history!

This is a situation where LESS revenge is probably more. I think donating $20K worth of chickens or goats to African farmers (delivered BEFORE Pred is told!) AND told he has to move out immediately plus leave the state within a month, might keep him from trying to involve law enforcement. Include the threat of serious penile shrinkage, and the fact that the couple (and others not revealed to him) will be monitoring him closely, to thwart much likelihood of him trying to attempt recrimination.
Not a bad little story, but taking a little longer in its execution could have upped the ante!
4*

Lacking

i liked the story but the revenge was a little lacking. the blackmailer gets to see the woman having sex? that is supposed to just upset him? he does have a lot of money spent but he will just declare Bk and it goes away. maybe castration would help.

no hero here

wife - dumb and a cheater
neighbor - dumb and a blackmailer
husband - a not so dumb thief, kidnapper/force-able restraint.(drugs can be a force of bandage)

i did not like it, so i gave it a 1.

Terrible

Is there lower than a 1?

His wages

Joel receuved the correct payment for his labors.

Wild Fantasy

Meant to be entertaining for the LW readers and it was. Analysis, of course, of such an extreme group of reactions will show that it was sort of implausible, but who wants to do that?

Really can't believe the IDIOTS .

Loved your story. Good ol American no how. A stick of some thing should have been stuck up his ass. Thanks.

A good revenge story

A well done storyline and a well written story.

Thanks for the read.

Good

But too short so 4****.

Great story sweet revenge

Sweet Revenge. Why don't women confide in their spouses. Although, there are serious plausibility issues the story was great. Plausibility becomes less of an issue when the story proceeds down fantasy lane. It was concise and very good.

Ahh Yes what should

happen anytime a Significant Other is blackmailed, and if they really love each other, if not they are better off as the blackmail holds no sway if they are tossed out.

This one works.

I actually liked it. Wifey was drugged and blackmailed. However, she confessed to Hubby and they got some great retribution on Asshole. It could have been a LOT more violent, and I would have taken some of Asshole's vital parts. But that's just me. Great job all around!

5 Big Stars!

short but sweet

Great revenge tale....

Story

This was one stupid dumb ass story. Fucked up.

Unreal in many ways

You don't administer revenge to someone like Joel and walk away expecting him to accept it and change his ways. He would murder them before leaving town.

What was missing from the end

Thomas and Darla showing Joel the suicide note he had written while under the influence of the suggestibility drug and then walking away as the strychnine they'd had him swallow starts to take effect.

bad ending

They never knew the best advice for anything like that: "Never do your enemy a minor injury."
Since they don't destroy him, then he will destroy them.

Too Tame

Thomas was a bit to ready to forgive his wife to be believable. The revenge against Joel wasn't nearly enough to even balance what he'd done to them.

And Tw0Cr0ws makes an excellent point. How could they know Joel wouldn't lose it and do something foolish in an attempt to get revenge himself? It wasn't like Joel would blame himself for his circumstances. Almost anyone who do something that vile believes they're justified in doing it so they'd never see the revenge as just.

Well...I disagree

(Sarcasm) I have certainly come back and killed everyone who has kicked my ass IRL. Of course, when someone destroys your life anger always overcomes fear (or not - consult your Darwinism).

If you are a jackass and you break into a man's home one night and his beating leaves you in traction, you are going to spend months recovering and come back after him with a gun...while you are out on bail...for breaking into his house. You are not afraid of Lethal Injection, or Life Without the Possibility of Parole, are you?. Are you convinced that despite him already outsmarting your ass once means you will automatically get revenge?

Or, maybe you're in the hospital's physical therapy room and thanking God it was the ambulance that came for you, and not the coroner. Maybe you wise up, take your lumps for being a douche bag. You choose to not risk your life at his hands, or with the justice system, so you move to another state.

If you look at it, the villain's actions were cowardly and if he had any virtues, he hid them well. I am really not certain where readers find this guy suddenly growing a set and coming back for round two. It wasn't like he confronted the husband with the affair, making it a machismo challenge. He was perfectly happy abusing a woman and using her love for her husband and the fear of losing him to cause her suffering. Some people are low-down, cowardly pieces of shit and that's all they ever will be.

Agree with @GoesGrunt...

A too tame revenge...What he did, deserved a revenge with blackmailing also...He was drugged, they could have him be a bitch to a lot of men in his home, taking pictures, making movies...Then, yes, they could bankrupt him and making he go away or the movies and pictures would have gone to the NET.

I like a good revenge story,

to me that makes a really happy ending. That said, I was a little disappointed that the wife didn't get a talking to at least. She was blackmailed, yeah. But she put herself into the position to be blackmailed, then she didn't expose him to her husband and continued fucking the guy, adding more and more evidence to the stuff Joel already had. I get it that she was on overload, at least at first. Like I said, a little disappointed in the wife, but I can certainly see it happening something like that. If someone would have tried to run that on my wife, he might have gotten her when she was drugged or drunk but she would have killed his ass as soon as she came back to herself. And if she didn't, when she told me he would have taken a long walk into the desert.

Great writing, as always. Imaginative revenge, well thought out and well executed. I am surprised that his asshole wasn't sore from the wife working it over with whatever her imagination could come up with, but your story, your revenge. Keep 'em coming, please.

Letting him in bed with you is revenge?

I don't think so. Too many sickos get off on that sort of shit. Can't see the wife, having been violated by him, allowing him to see her again. All in all, you come off like a sicko yourself.

I'd have added one bit to it...

Geld him.

Granted, anything they did do is effectively untraceable and assault by gelding might be a little harder to pretend he did all on his own...

But it sure would be something to have considered... and I'd be hard pressed not to HAVE done it.

Of course, if the "evidence" indicated blackmail and not consensual, sending him to prison might not have been such a bad thing...

Or better yet... did I mention geld him...?

HAVING SEX IS COSTLY

keeping love is even more dearly. TK U MLJ LV NV