All Comments on 'Man of Her Dreams'

Writing is not good. Very stilted. Try again?

-Amebede

But very entertaining. Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to some more submissions from you.

You need an editor, it's just crazy. All over the place and grammar and punctuation needs a lot of improvement.

I know that I need an editor. I am in the process of looking right now. I just wanted to see if this was something I really wanted to do, and to see if people would like it. So keep the comments coming please. I need all the help I can get.

You have created characters that are really easy to care about, which is vital in any good story. PLEASE keep working at it, I know from personal experience that writing improves with practice.

This is a wonderful beginning, I would love to read more

...not "defiantly", as you wrote several times.

But that is something a good editor will catch for you next time.

And there defiantly - er, DEFINITELY should be a next time. :D