Its a shame that in real life, people are so much worse. People would have one or both metaphorically hanged.
in a TBQH statement: if 2012 WAS the end of the world, I would have no problems with facing the end. I estimate that (in my own views of course) only 15%~ of the entirety of the human race deserves to survive, the rest are ruled by greed, lust, power, and pure religious fanatics who pervert the lessons the bible and any other religious text's teach. Humanity cannot be saved, a look at the continuing corruption of the US and EU Governments are a standing example of how the statement of it can only get worse before it can get better has now turned into: it can only get worse before you die or are accused of being a terrorist and locked away forever
by
Anonymous09/13/12
Perfect
Loved this chapter. Loved the entire series this is a good end but personally hope for more. And thanks for putting this one up so soon after the last one tho I doubt it had anything with my request to not make us wait 2 months like the last one that I mentioned on my comment in ch. 3
man my head was spinning I had trouble sleeping after 3 but you really pulled out a great story I was dizzy with nerves reading this one but my faith in your abilities as a writer have proven apt thank you for this and please can you write a fifth installment because I feel this chapter as wonderful as it was left somethings to be wrapped up like how they will live from now on ad how their child turns out and how they get together in a more intimate way as always thank you for your hard work
by
Anonymous09/13/12
You brought me to tears! You had me so invested in the characters that I was moved emotionally! You have a gift!
by
Anonymous09/13/12
Outstanding.
I think all 4 chapters were great. I am hoping for chapter 5 telling if they managed to stay together and raise their child.
MSTarot, you actually brought me to tears with this chapter! I don't know if this is the wrap up, or if you will carry on with this story. Either way it is truly the best series I've read on this or any site. I would encourage you to go back and develop it into a novel length tale and submit it to publishers. You would have to tone down the sex scenes a bit, but you might just find one somewhere with balls to bring it out in print - and it would make a tremendous movie. Best of luck!!
by
Anonymous09/13/12
surprise
you took this story to places that I completely didn't expect. thanks for that.
by
Anonymous09/13/12
need more ...
It was a good story but there are something's left hanging. Like how did Madison brother the cop found out and what happen in between chapter 3 & 4 with regards to Kevin & Sara's relationship. I hope you will continue and fill in some of these thing. Keep up the great writing!!!!
Keep going! Want to know how they are after the two year sentence,if they stay as a family or not. So please keep the series going!!!!
by
Anonymous09/14/12
The best on the site
This was the best story on the site I've ever read that I actually had to comment on it which I never EVER do. I was very happy with this story and was actually almost brought to tears. I don't even think you need to continue this story because it was already a great ending, but if do for closure or an epilogue, I wouldn't be mad lol. I think that this could actually be turned into a movie or a full book and hope to see it as that one day....which it probably won't.
This is y far one of the best multi-part stories on Literotica. I especially like you character development style. Having each chapter tell a complete ( but interconnected) story is a great approach. Hope there is more of this series to come, as I can see several possible plot lines that could be developted here. Keep up the good work. Looking forward to more soon!
5* . Wish I could give you more. I agree that there was tiny mis-spellings but these were almost part of the turn of speech of the narrator of that particular section.
Gotta say I loved all of them.
by
Anonymous10/03/12
Excellence
This is the kind of writing I've come to admire you for. The Hansel and Gretel spin was not at this caliber. I love this ending, but will be awaiting the begining of your next series
The development of the characters and their background and history made this story poignant and believable, and made me sympathize and empathize with Sara and Kevin.
Great storyline with only some minor technical errors (negligible); loved the romance factor and love story instead of just the hardcore sex, although what was there was fun and erotic, definitely arousing, and loved the depth of knowledge and details about tattooing.
I hope there is a chapter 5, maybe from the psychologists POV? That would make interesting reading, also an epilogue from their child's pic in 18yrs time.
by
Anonymous11/24/13
The court has ruled: Awsome!!!
The story was amazing as a whole, and each of the four parts could stand alone as wonderful pieces.
I also wish to compliment the way you handled the point of incest. The audience of this site is obviously biased. But I feel, (provided the more graphic depictions were omitted or altered), that the story could be published anywhere logical (no schools). Three reasons.
a) At no time did you say or imply, with your story, that incest is a good thing. This go's a long way towards public acceptance.
b) The stories, together and individually, had clear meaning behind them. A wonderful teacher once thought me that all good stories must have a clear message to learn from. I believe this to be true and it glows in your work.
c) Your characters were relate able, reasonable, and reliable. (the three R's). This is important in all writing, but even more so when approaching delicate subjects. You did this wonderfully ensuring that throughout the piece. You ensured that each telling shared thought processes, this way a reader can understand the whys of the characters actions . You made the characters seem human, normal, so that a more personal connection could be made with the reader. And you were consistent, mean characters stayed mean, the nice, nice, and the lusty, lusty (rawr).
Your work is awesome, keep it up.
Reminds me of something I saw on a computer once...
I'm sure it's kind of common now, but the first time I saw a picture that was basically a 360 degree view from somewhere, I was amazed.
I suppose it was using something similar to flash or Java but you could sort of roll the picture and it was like YOU were looking all around without leaving your current position.
This story is a lot like that. I've read other stories that have shown the same scenes from two different people's perspective but they just felt like rehashs.
This one feels like you're really part of the people whose perspective you're in and has a nice feel to it.
The only part I didn't like...? Wasn't because of the story but rather how STUPID could Madison BE? Asking a COP!?? Of course, in her case I don't think I'd be talking to my brother for years (if ever) after that. I guess that implies I think not all cases of incest are black and white wrong. Oh well...
by
Anonymous03/06/15
Really great work!!
Your writing is really good. In a way, I'm happy you didn't make it all about sex. While reading it, I felt that there was more to them than that. The little bit of stuff you put in was tasteful, and not overdone. And I'm glad you continued it. We got to see more of their story, and even learn a bit about the others. And Sarah and Kevin's dad deserved to die, in my thoughts. Call it sadistic, but I gotta agree with Sarah, that he died too quickly. But Kev was protecting Sarah, so he worked well. Of all the stories I've read, I think this series was my favorite.
by
Anonymous03/06/15
Madison
I gotta say, it was kinda stupid of Madison to ask her brother, a cop, but I think at heart, she only had good intentions. And honestly, if the stuff that happened to Sarah happened to me, I'd go for my brother who knew of went on. It'd be kinda hard to trust guys after that, but I'd trust the guy who protected me, even if he is my brother.
Incest. Man, so many people have so many different feelings on it. The way I look at it: people say it's disgusting for two relatives to be in a sexual relationship. Sometimes, Christians say that it's unholy even. But what I find funny is the fact that going by the bible, we're all related. Going back to Adam and Eve, they populated the Earth, according to the bible. They're sons and daughters married and had offspring. Incest in it's earliest form. Amusing isn't it, when people tend to overlook things that they find doesn't suit them. But my point is, if they love and trust each other, it shouldn't matter what gender, or religion, or race, or even relation they are. I'd rather see a brother and sister in love than a man and woman who didn't like each other together. If they make you happy, then fuck the rest of the world. Find a way around it; if you truly love someone, shouldn't you be willing to do anything you can for them?
ok the last few hours have been spent pretending to work while I secretly read all 4 parts of this. I know I am not the first nor will I be the last to say this but PUBLISH THIS AS A BOOK!!!! It is 98% better than anything out there. The exception being Tijan and Sabrina Page both who in my opinion are masters of the step-love stories. I am so jaw dropped impressed with you. Congrats, that is a rarity for me. xoxo Maliceon Books
by
Anonymous10/21/15
Fucking Great Story
One of the best story ive ever read and at the end i was in tears
Bout time they dropped the original sentence that bugged the hell outa me, shoulda been defense of a third person. But that wouldn't have set up the story either. All in all one of the best I've read. Would have liked to know what they were thinking and feeling as they crossed that finale line though
by
Anonymous04/12/16
ANOTHER FIRST DRAFT!!!! WHAT A SHAME!!!!
I only wish that the author had a facility with words equal to the demonstrated talent within these 4 chapters. It is a shame that such good concepts, characterization, and storytelling is marred by such an appalling lack of sophistication in the expression of the written word.
Prison over crowding (Due to prison over-crowding)
brother original trial (brother’s) (3)
miss trial (mistrial)
criss crossing (crisscrossing)
sits it down (sets)
When she look (looked)
What (do) you need
going to be tuff (tough)
House (house)
I'm a bartended (bartender)
Jury (jury)
over turned (overturned)
patients (patience)
sits quite (quiet)
All other remain (others)
try and (to)
more (-think) he's frothing (like????) (GIBBERISH!!!!)
it's way (its)
(my) growing arousal (-I me)
drawn out (drawn-out)
jurors shift in their seat uncomfortable (seats uncomfortably)
several of the jury shift (-I) their seats (members) (in)
over rules (overrules)
into camera (in front of the)
brought together and zip tied (-together) (zip-tied)
like to point out (-at no point in this was) (that) my client (was not) resisting
"Your honor I would like to point out that this is footage of a know murder being arrested not a shop lifter (known murderer) (shoplifter) ( IN ADDITION TO THIS BEING VERY CLUMSILY WRITTEN,THE DIALOG IS CLEARLY UTTERED BY THE PROSECUTOR, SINCE THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN THE COURTROOM IS THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY, WHO IS VERY UNLIKELY TO POINT OUT THIS OBSERVATION!!!! DESPITE THIS FACT, THERE IS NO INDICATION AS TO WHO IS SPEAKING IN THE TEXT!!!!)
swarming the building like locust (locusts)
questing only brings out more evidence (questioning)
(witness to be questioning) (effort to bolster his case through questioning this witness) (GOBBLEDGOOK!!!!)
know way of knowing (no)
do to the wrongful conviction (due) (2)
heart of (-heart) (hearts) (IF YOU MUST USE SUCH A CLICHED EXPRESSION HAVE THE INTEGRITY TO QUOTE IT CORRECTLY!!!!)
court room (courtroom)
disavow the information (disregard)
back to their seat (seats)
In regard to (Regarding)
every one (everyone)
Forman (foreman) (3)
People (people)
ad take (and)
Another annony English course!! Get a fucking life asshole
no one gives a big rat's ass. God you must be brain dead to think a porno story and a erotic web site cares at all about errors. Just jerk off and be down with it.
IT seems every story you write needs to be sproofed read. Maybe you n3ed to jire the person here to proof read and correct you mistakes. It does make make for hard reading with miss splet words. Your stories are good but have read better ones. You do have a few hot stories
by
Anonymous10/24/16
good job. great series.
Definitely going in my top ten I've read on here for pure entertainment reading liked the different point of veiw from the characters. Ignore the hatters.
English
thanks...
After Ch3 I needed that...
I hope Ch5 is just as good.
Its a shame that in real life, people are so much worse. People would have one or both metaphorically hanged.
in a TBQH statement: if 2012 WAS the end of the world, I would have no problems with facing the end. I estimate that (in my own views of course) only 15%~ of the entirety of the human race deserves to survive, the rest are ruled by greed, lust, power, and pure religious fanatics who pervert the lessons the bible and any other religious text's teach. Humanity cannot be saved, a look at the continuing corruption of the US and EU Governments are a standing example of how the statement of it can only get worse before it can get better has now turned into: it can only get worse before you die or are accused of being a terrorist and locked away forever
Perfect
Loved this chapter. Loved the entire series this is a good end but personally hope for more. And thanks for putting this one up so soon after the last one tho I doubt it had anything with my request to not make us wait 2 months like the last one that I mentioned on my comment in ch. 3
dynamite
man my head was spinning I had trouble sleeping after 3 but you really pulled out a great story I was dizzy with nerves reading this one but my faith in your abilities as a writer have proven apt thank you for this and please can you write a fifth installment because I feel this chapter as wonderful as it was left somethings to be wrapped up like how they will live from now on ad how their child turns out and how they get together in a more intimate way as always thank you for your hard work
You brought me to tears! You had me so invested in the characters that I was moved emotionally! You have a gift!
Outstanding.
I think all 4 chapters were great. I am hoping for chapter 5 telling if they managed to stay together and raise their child.
MSTarot, you actually brought me to tears with this chapter! I don't know if this is the wrap up, or if you will carry on with this story. Either way it is truly the best series I've read on this or any site. I would encourage you to go back and develop it into a novel length tale and submit it to publishers. You would have to tone down the sex scenes a bit, but you might just find one somewhere with balls to bring it out in print - and it would make a tremendous movie. Best of luck!!
surprise
you took this story to places that I completely didn't expect. thanks for that.
need more ...
It was a good story but there are something's left hanging. Like how did Madison brother the cop found out and what happen in between chapter 3 & 4 with regards to Kevin & Sara's relationship. I hope you will continue and fill in some of these thing. Keep up the great writing!!!!
Please,please
Keep going! Want to know how they are after the two year sentence,if they stay as a family or not. So please keep the series going!!!!
The best on the site
This was the best story on the site I've ever read that I actually had to comment on it which I never EVER do. I was very happy with this story and was actually almost brought to tears. I don't even think you need to continue this story because it was already a great ending, but if do for closure or an epilogue, I wouldn't be mad lol. I think that this could actually be turned into a movie or a full book and hope to see it as that one day....which it probably won't.
Continue?
This is y far one of the best multi-part stories on Literotica. I especially like you character development style. Having each chapter tell a complete ( but interconnected) story is a great approach. Hope there is more of this series to come, as I can see several possible plot lines that could be developted here. Keep up the good work. Looking forward to more soon!
Wonderful!
5* . Wish I could give you more. I agree that there was tiny mis-spellings but these were almost part of the turn of speech of the narrator of that particular section.
Gotta say I loved all of them.
Excellence
This is the kind of writing I've come to admire you for. The Hansel and Gretel spin was not at this caliber. I love this ending, but will be awaiting the begining of your next series
Pretty Fucking Awesome
The development of the characters and their background and history made this story poignant and believable, and made me sympathize and empathize with Sara and Kevin.
Great storyline with only some minor technical errors (negligible); loved the romance factor and love story instead of just the hardcore sex, although what was there was fun and erotic, definitely arousing, and loved the depth of knowledge and details about tattooing.
good ending
loved it
I hope there is a chapter 5, maybe from the psychologists POV? That would make interesting reading, also an epilogue from their child's pic in 18yrs time.
The court has ruled: Awsome!!!
The story was amazing as a whole, and each of the four parts could stand alone as wonderful pieces.
I also wish to compliment the way you handled the point of incest. The audience of this site is obviously biased. But I feel, (provided the more graphic depictions were omitted or altered), that the story could be published anywhere logical (no schools). Three reasons.
a) At no time did you say or imply, with your story, that incest is a good thing. This go's a long way towards public acceptance.
b) The stories, together and individually, had clear meaning behind them. A wonderful teacher once thought me that all good stories must have a clear message to learn from. I believe this to be true and it glows in your work.
c) Your characters were relate able, reasonable, and reliable. (the three R's). This is important in all writing, but even more so when approaching delicate subjects. You did this wonderfully ensuring that throughout the piece. You ensured that each telling shared thought processes, this way a reader can understand the whys of the characters actions . You made the characters seem human, normal, so that a more personal connection could be made with the reader. And you were consistent, mean characters stayed mean, the nice, nice, and the lusty, lusty (rawr).
Your work is awesome, keep it up.
this is a very enjoyable read. realistic stories are my favorite
Reminds me of something I saw on a computer once...
I'm sure it's kind of common now, but the first time I saw a picture that was basically a 360 degree view from somewhere, I was amazed.
I suppose it was using something similar to flash or Java but you could sort of roll the picture and it was like YOU were looking all around without leaving your current position.
This story is a lot like that. I've read other stories that have shown the same scenes from two different people's perspective but they just felt like rehashs.
This one feels like you're really part of the people whose perspective you're in and has a nice feel to it.
The only part I didn't like...? Wasn't because of the story but rather how STUPID could Madison BE? Asking a COP!?? Of course, in her case I don't think I'd be talking to my brother for years (if ever) after that. I guess that implies I think not all cases of incest are black and white wrong. Oh well...
Really great work!!
Your writing is really good. In a way, I'm happy you didn't make it all about sex. While reading it, I felt that there was more to them than that. The little bit of stuff you put in was tasteful, and not overdone. And I'm glad you continued it. We got to see more of their story, and even learn a bit about the others. And Sarah and Kevin's dad deserved to die, in my thoughts. Call it sadistic, but I gotta agree with Sarah, that he died too quickly. But Kev was protecting Sarah, so he worked well. Of all the stories I've read, I think this series was my favorite.
Madison
I gotta say, it was kinda stupid of Madison to ask her brother, a cop, but I think at heart, she only had good intentions. And honestly, if the stuff that happened to Sarah happened to me, I'd go for my brother who knew of went on. It'd be kinda hard to trust guys after that, but I'd trust the guy who protected me, even if he is my brother.
Incest. Man, so many people have so many different feelings on it. The way I look at it: people say it's disgusting for two relatives to be in a sexual relationship. Sometimes, Christians say that it's unholy even. But what I find funny is the fact that going by the bible, we're all related. Going back to Adam and Eve, they populated the Earth, according to the bible. They're sons and daughters married and had offspring. Incest in it's earliest form. Amusing isn't it, when people tend to overlook things that they find doesn't suit them. But my point is, if they love and trust each other, it shouldn't matter what gender, or religion, or race, or even relation they are. I'd rather see a brother and sister in love than a man and woman who didn't like each other together. If they make you happy, then fuck the rest of the world. Find a way around it; if you truly love someone, shouldn't you be willing to do anything you can for them?
WRITE MORE!!!
Please please please write an epilogue!!!!!!
to anon with title madison
I agree with you
i cant even....
ok the last few hours have been spent pretending to work while I secretly read all 4 parts of this. I know I am not the first nor will I be the last to say this but PUBLISH THIS AS A BOOK!!!! It is 98% better than anything out there. The exception being Tijan and Sabrina Page both who in my opinion are masters of the step-love stories. I am so jaw dropped impressed with you. Congrats, that is a rarity for me. xoxo Maliceon Books
Fucking Great Story
One of the best story ive ever read and at the end i was in tears
Bout time they dropped the original sentence that bugged the hell outa me, shoulda been defense of a third person. But that wouldn't have set up the story either. All in all one of the best I've read. Would have liked to know what they were thinking and feeling as they crossed that finale line though
ANOTHER FIRST DRAFT!!!! WHAT A SHAME!!!!
I only wish that the author had a facility with words equal to the demonstrated talent within these 4 chapters. It is a shame that such good concepts, characterization, and storytelling is marred by such an appalling lack of sophistication in the expression of the written word.
Prison over crowding (Due to prison over-crowding)
brother original trial (brother’s) (3)
miss trial (mistrial)
criss crossing (crisscrossing)
sits it down (sets)
When she look (looked)
What (do) you need
going to be tuff (tough)
House (house)
I'm a bartended (bartender)
Jury (jury)
over turned (overturned)
patients (patience)
sits quite (quiet)
All other remain (others)
try and (to)
more (-think) he's frothing (like????) (GIBBERISH!!!!)
it's way (its)
(my) growing arousal (-I me)
drawn out (drawn-out)
jurors shift in their seat uncomfortable (seats uncomfortably)
several of the jury shift (-I) their seats (members) (in)
over rules (overrules)
into camera (in front of the)
brought together and zip tied (-together) (zip-tied)
like to point out (-at no point in this was) (that) my client (was not) resisting
"Your honor I would like to point out that this is footage of a know murder being arrested not a shop lifter (known murderer) (shoplifter) ( IN ADDITION TO THIS BEING VERY CLUMSILY WRITTEN,THE DIALOG IS CLEARLY UTTERED BY THE PROSECUTOR, SINCE THE ONLY OTHER PERSON IN THE COURTROOM IS THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY, WHO IS VERY UNLIKELY TO POINT OUT THIS OBSERVATION!!!! DESPITE THIS FACT, THERE IS NO INDICATION AS TO WHO IS SPEAKING IN THE TEXT!!!!)
swarming the building like locust (locusts)
questing only brings out more evidence (questioning)
(witness to be questioning) (effort to bolster his case through questioning this witness) (GOBBLEDGOOK!!!!)
know way of knowing (no)
do to the wrongful conviction (due) (2)
heart of (-heart) (hearts) (IF YOU MUST USE SUCH A CLICHED EXPRESSION HAVE THE INTEGRITY TO QUOTE IT CORRECTLY!!!!)
court room (courtroom)
disavow the information (disregard)
back to their seat (seats)
In regard to (Regarding)
every one (everyone)
Forman (foreman) (3)
People (people)
ad take (and)
Another annony English course!! Get a fucking life asshole
no one gives a big rat's ass. God you must be brain dead to think a porno story and a erotic web site cares at all about errors. Just jerk off and be down with it.
SPELLING IT RIGHT
IT seems every story you write needs to be sproofed read. Maybe you n3ed to jire the person here to proof read and correct you mistakes. It does make make for hard reading with miss splet words. Your stories are good but have read better ones. You do have a few hot stories
good job. great series.
Definitely going in my top ten I've read on here for pure entertainment reading liked the different point of veiw from the characters. Ignore the hatters.
damn well written story
the mother of bomb shell surpises during the trail, WOW this whole story series reminds me why i hate societies fubared rules and laws,
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