All Comments on 'Forgiveness'

by 1Thinkingman

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  • 73 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Thanks - too late for me

Mine cheated with her boss and I took her back "for the kids" ......I'm sorry now.

Funny thing is she can't believe I still remember it happening and "I live in the past."

many thanks...I enjoyed it.

ythebadgerythebadgerover 11 years ago
You've written longer reviews

of other people's stories than that!

Okay, to be fair, you've managed to condense into a single page the kind of story that is often spread out over at least nine pages by some - but it was very disjointed and didn't really engage the reader.

Vulcan_in_OhioVulcan_in_Ohioover 11 years ago
A little silly but fun

If there was a well-written pre-nup, I doubt a court would ignore it. This read quickly and I suppose it was intended as a flash story, but we are left puzzled as-to Benita's rationale. Can she be that dumb? If she is upset by cheating stories in Literotica, why does she mimic bad behavior about which she is apparently outraged? We really have no clue, and maybe the whole tale is meant as satire. If so, the author fails to pull it off convincingly. But it was cute and quick, if unbelievable. Thanks for writing.

OldHidekiOldHidekiover 11 years ago
My guess is that reading Literotica was a way for her to self incriminate.

In a way, she knew she was in the wrong, but still didn't want to be caught. Reading the stories was probably a version of self punishment, and she was trying to get up the courage to end the affair and never get caught. It might have been one of the signs that tipped the husband off. Thank You, for a well written story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Nice outline

Now write the story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Crap

boring and predictable. 2*

RePhilRePhilover 11 years ago
Disjointed with no Closure

Good idea less than stellar execution 3 stars

chilleywilleychilleywilleyover 11 years ago
Hmmm!

So how would not talking be better? It certainly doesn't make for a good story. This was an emotionless recitation of his dispassionate actions, with no great engagement of the reader. If he really didn't care about her or his marriage, discarding with little more emotion than a used Kleenex, why should we care?

Generally we like to know why the cheating, and some discussion of it the emotions, and so on. She cheated, I found out, so I divorced her and cheerfully went on with my life. Maybe there is a reason his two wives cheated.

OK so now tell us a story

Huedogg2Huedogg2over 11 years ago
lol

Reading it...fun

catching her cheating.....great

getting revenge.....even better

fucking her over with her own plan......priceless

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
It was like a plastic bag with nothing in it....

Not much substance or plot. It could have been good, but it wasn't.

cpetecpeteover 11 years ago
moreeeee

Fun little story-but like many posters I wish you had a lot more.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
It did not lend itself to a flash story

There is not one word describing the motivation of a wife and mother destroying her marriage for what appears to be a convention sexual fling. Because of this dearth of explanation of the wife's intent in this matter the story has a huge hole in it. This hole in the plot line is not sufficiently covered up by the author's "just following his wife's orders as to how handle a cheating spouse. This latter device is clever in and of itself but it stills leaves the reader at the end wondering "what the hell possessed her". This is important because even in the jack off stories on this site the reader is entitled to learn something of significance about the human condition. Sadly due to the hole left us by the author we readers have learned almost nothing of significance about the human condition and really this story isn't even funny but it is sad.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
priceless

Simply priceless, simply priceless, As a flash story it rates a 5 but I gave it a 4 because I wanted more. I hope a part 2 will be following soon.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
1thinkingman

I have come to realize that you have named yourself incorrectly and that you are not a thinkingman at all, but a fool with a false front.

Your comments on stories first alerted me to this, then I've read a few of your writings which served to confirm my suspicion.

From now on, when I see your moniker, I will pass it on by after giving you the appropriate 1*. No need to read any further.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
So tell me,

when did a criminal act become necessary to trigger a pre-nup? lol.

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveover 11 years ago
Excellent

Well done! It's funny sometimes how people are total contradictions. Here she didn't practiced what she preached and got screwed in the end.

123,889 STARS

DunaDunaover 11 years ago
Not to follow SS06, but 3 pages story is better

Too short. . A poster wrote something about conversations, etc, I agree him/her.

I think this story would be better a Romantic Revenge aftermath............However the story would be minimum 3 pages with Romantic Revenge and conversations.

The Romantic Revenge situation may be after more than 20 years marriage. To find decent Second Chance man is more difficult at this old ages for women as to find Second Chance women for men.............................It may be exceptions, because this is statistical social law only.

I recommend these stories: Azpiri "Shattered" or Likegoodwine "Not String Attached"......................

DunaDunaover 11 years ago
Apology

I am sorry, this sentence is better so: I think this story would be better with a Romantic Revenge aftermath.

tazz317tazz317over 11 years ago
WORST KEPT SECRETS

with a pre-nup and another time failure. TK U MLJ LV NV

LickideesplitLickideesplitover 11 years ago
Good Premise - Crappy Execution

Length is fine! I get the sense that she is portrayed as fluent in English, but it is not Sweetie's native language. This would explain her tirades being hard to understand, but it is a poor editorial choice! Since it is a flash story, I am not put off by Hubby's non-emotional course of action! Stretching it out just stretches it out! (sorry!)

Coulda been a high four, the confusing execution drags it to a three*

snakes454snakes454over 11 years ago
poorly written

I had a hard time following the conversations through the door because there was no way to differentiate his words from hers. No, infedelity is not a crime in the western world, but pre nups are a contract and courts do not normally toss them aside. I gave you three because he didn't reconcile as far as I could tell and it wasn't a gay ass cuck tale.

bruce22bruce22over 11 years ago
Intriguing Format

It could have been more detailed but I found it enjoyable as is. A point worth making is that he just repeated the attorney's opinion about the usefulness of the pre-nup and this was not a judge's decision. Even then judge's have been known to err.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Good Job

This is the first story in weeks where the husband isn't a gay cum loving idiot. Great job.

PistolpackinpetePistolpackinpeteover 11 years ago
This sucked and you can do much better....

....not sure why it was posted. Good laugh from anonymous pussy who will no longer read you. WHO CARES?! No one recognizes your existence so the threat is a riot!

MarvinSMarvinSover 11 years ago
Who is talking?

I taught English for a few years. Methinks one writing convention is that a new paragraph in dialogue means that there was a change in speakers. I had a hard time figuring out who was speaking in your paragraphs. I think it might have been the same person the whole time.

Nevertheless, the story idea seems to be an original. It's too bad it wasn't carried out very well.

cantbuymycantbuymyover 11 years ago
liked it

a little flash story. and people who can't figure out who is talking need to limit themsleves to commic books with pictures and little ballons with words in them attached to the mouth of the person talking. you did good. 5!

Scorpio44Scorpio44over 11 years ago
Odd, and not in a great way...

It ended and all I felt was disappointed in every way.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago

What the fuck was that? Was it both sides of the conversation in the same quotation marks? Maybe you should quit thinking, Thinkingman and give up writing while you're it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Hey PPP

Have to agree with you on the story. I'm so glad that anonymous pussy makes you happy. Who cares? You do. lol

1Thinkingman1Thinkingmanover 11 years agoAuthor
If I have to explain it then I did a poor job of writing it.

Ultimately, this was a failure. Voting is fine as an indication of whether the readers liked a story. Liking a story is relevant in it's way but it is not why I write. Comments are more important and indicate whether I am successful in my writing. Comments show that I failed again. The majority of the readers did not get the theme of the piece. That failing is mine as a writer; I am not connecting with my audience.

Ythebadger I was drinking water while I read your comment and it came out my nose I laughed so hard. I have written some long comments and your comment shows that I did not connect with you the reader.

OldHideki actually got it. That is gratifying. Cheaters tend to complain about others cheating. They will accuse their spouses of cheating. It is an early indication that all is not right in a relationship. They also have a disconnect between what they are doing and the consequences of their actions. They also have a double standard where cheating is concerned. I can do it too you but you can't do it too me.

Chillywilly the actions in this story happen weeks after the affair has been exposed. The heat of the anger has been dissipated over time and acceptance of the affair by the husband leaves him feeling hollow thus the dispassionate appearance of the revenge. If she could have found a way to forgive herself, end the affair things may have turned out differently. It is hard to break new ground in the LW category. This is a different take on the effects of cheating and people who have not been through it won't see or feel the strain. I as a writer could not convey that feeling.

To one of the anonymous: It actually does not matter why a person cheats. This is truly the most irrelevant aspect of the LW story. The cheater does and rationalizes their action. How a person dishonours themselves is irrelevant and could only be relevant if you caught them before the act and had a chance to talk them out of it. It is a failure of character on their part. A fatal flaw that they either deal with correctly(and then there is no story) or they don't and then the story unfolds.

Snakes454 there is a difference between criminal and civil courts. I agree a prenup is a contract but so is a marriage. Courts do not decide the merits in black and white the way they try to do in criminal court. My editor is a lawyer and aside from the wordage I used he did not have a problem with courts overturning prenups. There is no such thing as an airtight prenup.

Marvin S this is a narrative. There is only one person talking in the whole story accept for the last line, "What did you say John? Oh no no no no...what have I done?" is the wife's only line in the story. The story is about the wall between the two spouses that they don't communicate. She has her locked room that he does not enter and he has his. Marriages do not fall apart suddenly unless there is a tragic event in them. They die over time due to neglect. Again I failed to bring this forward in the writing. I am learning as I go.

Scorpio44 you feel exactly like the husband does and how the wife will after the consequences of her actions finally sink in.

I will have to work on my weaknesses as a writer.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
We liked it!

Keep them coming!

C_frommnC_frommnover 11 years ago
I Agree with Huedogg

:-)

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago

its really a very short story like . its like start story "1 friend come to other friend's house for diner that friend give him poisonous food friend eat it and die" end story

if its have long story it would have good story

tazz317tazz317over 11 years ago
GAME...SET....AND MATCH

now its off the court and on to the courts, TK U MLJ LV NV

Danger09Danger09about 11 years ago
Why would the pre-nup be void?

Unless the pre-nup is old or the signee was forced or tricked to sign it, a judge can't possibly throw out the pre-nup. That's just ludicrous. Celebrities get pre-Nups all the time, it's a contract meant to keep couples from walking away with the other partners life savings, so you didn't really explain why a judge would throw out the pre-nup & if a judge actually did this I'm pretty sure a good lawyer can get that decision overturned.

Kate12345675Kate12345675about 11 years ago
I agree

WITH Danger !!!

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveabout 11 years ago
Second Comment

Bottom line, she was a cunt. Talked about unfaithful wives on Literotica and what she would do to throw off her husband from suspecting her. It didn't work. The cheating cunt lost everyone in the end. Fuck her.

phil2213phil2213almost 11 years ago
crazy rant

This is a very short rant that makes no real sense. I can understand the author's attempt to be humorous but the description is way short. It is a great ambitious attempt, but falls short. It is a great sketch to provide a story.

TavadelphinTavadelphinover 10 years ago
Priceless Flash story -

One does need to work on who is saying what a bit, so it can be a challenge but the message is clear - beyond being a cheat, a liar and a bitch she a true hypocrite - you gotta love it -

JounarJounarover 10 years ago
5*

Very entertaining little story. My only quibble is the pre-nup being no use in the divorce.

DunaDunaover 10 years ago
http://www.getcheckmate.com/

The creampies could be checked by the new infidelity HOME tests. Some test detect prostate antibody so vasectomised lover's sperm could be detected by those tests from holes, body and cloths of the wife, BTB story authors attention and to use.

I used in my two stories (I published on SOL).

bredrebredrealmost 10 years ago
Priceless:)

Your a very creative writer.

connoisseur29connoisseur29over 9 years ago
****

Right on, 1T! Liked your short tale (no pun intended). Cheers!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Don't you just love it...

...when a hypocrite gets their own medicine shoved down their throat??? LMAO! Great story!

Pappy7Pappy7about 9 years ago
For everything else

there's Literotica. You gotta love an ending like that. Funny take on a not so funny situation. Still don't understand why it's okay to beat the crap out of the lovers but not okay to talk harshly to the wife. He should have hired a woman to beat her down. Then he wouldn't be thought of as a bully and a wife beater. Just a cuckold if he does nothing. Good story, well told.

TornadoTysTornadoTysabout 8 years ago
I Like The Reference

Good short story and I liked the reference to Barclaycard asvert.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
using your story for inspiration

Facebook profile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com exposes serial cheating wife. Lost her college instructor position in Helena Montana because of that info and more. Student she had voerced as one of her numerous lovers ALSO HAD PHOTOS

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
High Horse

Get off it previous poster.

To the writer, I apologize for the many twit posters in Literotica and wish I could give you more than a 5.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
@anon - high horse

You state you gave author highest score for story which

INCLUDED POSTING CHEATING WIFE'S ACTIONS ON INTERNET

Your very favorable scoring and comment indicate you support such action

Hell, you APPLAUD such postings.

Then you denigrate someone who in real life took the action you APPLAUD author for using in story.

Your ''high horse'' phrase is more apropos than you know.

If you visited Facebook profile and corresponded with profile owner you would have been informed that the serial cheating instructor's favorite postion, which she used to bring herself to multiple and squirting orgasms was to go Cowgirl Up th grease lovers saddlehorns.

Also at 53 years old she started riding horses...latest lover at time was member of Missoula Montana's Backcountry Riders chapter...followed up by a concurrent affair with local ranchhand, whom she described as a drunk!

I have noticed numerous commenters like yourself.

Praise Internet exposure as fantasy but when someone follows your urgings in reality you are squeamishly aghast.

In reality one faces consequences for unethical behavior not to mention serial cheating instructor was instrumental in destroying reputation of student she coerced...that and repeatedly breaking husband's heart.

Spend an hour watching and listening to a proud, loving, and loyal 54 year old man sobbing over his wife's betrayal...he suspected her affairs but that Saturday morning received phone call that his wife and the ranchhand were at local motel...he drove by motel saw both their vehicles but despite threats of violence if he ever caught her instead went to her mother's house and was inconsolable as he broke down

Anon GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE

RhomanovRhomanovabout 6 years ago
*****

Came back for a reread. Still a Classic! 👍🏻

SomeOneTwoThreeSomeOneTwoThreeabout 6 years ago
Priceless!

What a wonderful,

unusual story!

Damn, this writer

uses his originality

and imagination

to the full, entertaining

us readers!

Top ratings from me.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
And remember guys?

Per Department of Defense Regulations; you always obey the last order given,,,,

cub4acougarcub4acougaralmost 6 years ago
funny shit

this author is a comedien

great story

anonymousinblueanonymousinblueover 5 years ago
I've read this a few times

The first time I was probably confused. It's not like I didn't get it, but the premise is so odd and attempts to express many things. Walls of communication, defense by accusing the other of cheating, a sort of continual penance or guilt driven action (this I don't believe is actually representative of most cheating situations) ironically signing her own execution warrant, hypocritical behaviour and the scream of no at the end.

I think the most confusing part was how lack of communication was expressed, and it might be ironically appropriate. Why is this guy yelling into a door??? Oh, the author did explain that a bit.

There was no attempt to drown the plot in metaphor. You can't drown water. I disagree with the author assessing his writing solely based on comments, but I do think that when in Constantinople, the author was a bit too coy about expressing what was to come.

Then again, I think the same theme could have been written as two pages, allowing the author enough space to totally ruin his story by explaining it within the prose. Then it would be a story. This is like a showcase. And it's not like you win with many words...stories that go into histories seem to just sieve right out the other side because there's no romantic or thematic buildup in such fact listing. So it's entertaining, and thanks.

26thNC26thNCover 5 years ago
Hoist on her own petard

This works for me. Everything you need to know in a concise, complete manner.

ranec1ranec1over 5 years ago
Mean As!!

Chur bro awesome story

26thNC26thNCover 4 years ago
Very good

Now that was a funny story. Just about perfect.

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
If you're clever about it...

Getting the cheater to tell you how they would handle a cheater is priceless.

All they can do is look on in dumb awe as you follow, to the letter, their plans.

Jhbrown27Jhbrown27over 4 years ago
Good story

It is truly amazing when someone rails about a bad something only to be one of the worst at it.

jtwheelsjtwheelsalmost 4 years ago
Can you use hoisted on own petard for woman?

Great story enjoyed

Caught and pissed on by own words

Hope he takes care of boss appropriately

robroy93robroy93almost 4 years ago
Very good

That story hit the spot. Ain't it great when the cheater is architect of her own destruction? Instant favorite.

26thNC26thNCover 3 years ago

Again, the perfect little story. Humor with a bite.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
Laugh last laugh best . Don't really believe it but match story

Did smile though

mrfox_stingermrfox_stingerover 3 years ago
Ideas everywhere

That was very good.

nixroxnixroxover 2 years ago

3 stars - it was a funny story with a twist that gave me a laugh.

oldpantythiefoldpantythiefover 1 year ago

Kind of abbreviated.

Just_WordsJust_Wordsover 1 year ago

That was fun, but I almost think he would be better off even if she were not cheating. She seems rather difficult to live with.

AnonymousAnonymous12 months ago

LMAO!👏🙂🙂🤣

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Good premise. Needed to be fleshed out.

Busman19639Busman196396 months ago

Stupid, no other way to describe this.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

This was horribly stupid. The unintelligible irrelevant conversation. The pointless recording that proves jack and shit. The atrocious grammar; unless of course you're stereotyping Hispanics as not sophisticated to formulate coherent sentences, which would be a tad racist. Then there's zero fucking transition into her affair and his reaction. It would have been 10 times better had you left out everything between it coming to a head and going to see his lawyer. Do better.

AnonymousAnonymous29 days ago

Needs a little tweaking and clarification there, some missing punctuation and everything at the start makes it rather difficult to understand what's going on. You need to get an editor. Or find something else to do....

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Part time writer although I haven't written in a few years.

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