by Boratus
I like where this is going. A few more characters and a few more interesting situations should take this story a long way. More chapters with a shorter interval between each is needed to keep interest.
I really like your story and I think it's easily among the top mcstories I've read (both here and on mcstories.com). What I think you need to be careful about is making sure there's plenty of conflict going forward. I would hate to see this story degrade into one of the common "... and he conquered the world without trouble" stories. After all, conflicts and other problems for the main character is what keeps a story interesting. Especially if he has to struggle with them, and can't beat them at the first try.
Right now it seems to me that the mind control part of the drug is risks being too effective and its side effects too easily contained. Similarly the girls friends and family have been no trouble so far, but surly that won't stay true forever, right? ;)
Not a huge cuckhold fan but this was pretty good for that subject.
I am really enjoying the idea that confidence would make this sort of impact on people. And the writing is well paced and vivid.
I really liked your other chapters, but you're well on your way to destroy this story completely! Two guys is ALWAYS one too many! What's the point with the confident drug and ordering if you're sharing the girl(s)? You are just contradicting the premises on the story, and it just turns into an unbelievable mess that seems to be written in haste and is completely sidetracked and has lost all of your original story.
The story reminded me a bit about making scents that started of good, but that I ended up hating after the story turned completely ridicolous.
Very enjoyable read, please keep them coming!
Great story so far. The main character has experienced a wide variety of emotions and realistic responses -- I like that and it is necessary to support the sex scenes (which are great by the way). I like that he has stayed sane and not rampaged or turned into an evil maniac which is a sure way to put a story into a downward spiral. Cruelty, and a path way leading too far from believable choices and events makes for a bad story. Keep it believable but sexy.
I hope that there are many many more chapters to come I love this series
I'm really liking this story so far. Many of the same good qualities as your story "my fair slut", but unlike that story this one doesn't make me want to kill some of the main characters, which is a good thing.
I like that it moves at a even pace and at a good pace. Not surprisingly fast or slow.
Keep track of Day/Night (saw that being gone) and Keep track of day of week. Also what about work, his friend, etc. The apartment swap is a bit much. Including sanjit is just odd.
Have the girls doing odder things, bringing other girls, etc. Keep it real. Good job.
All I need say is Keep it up, it kept me up.
That I have read. Your stories are now added to my bookmarks under your name. Keep 'em cumming!
This is one of my favorite categories. But the trouble with too many mind control stories is that the protagonist often becomes one dimensional going from one conquest to the next. ( even if the next conquest is more women, that storyline can quickly become stale) the interesting thing this author does with HIS story, is by making the protagonist's mind control powers TEMPORARY, he provides the reader and the storyline, with a much more interesting set of possibilities. But Boratus does even better than that, by allowing the timid Asian to become supremely confident in a believable way, a "Mistress" in her own right, he does this while still allowing her to be subservient to the ultimate master. This makes the story more enjoyable and has me hooked and hoping there is more soon to come!
Well, are any more chapters coming - I'd really like to know what happens next.
Come on man; come back to this! Please?
This is a really great story and truly does deserve to be expanded and fleshed out some more.
Really, it could possibly go as long as "The Addicted Natural" or maybe even "Alan" :D
(With the addition of new conflicts, of course. Maybe someone from the govt. or the research team eventually finds out about it, and Jeff has to deal with that? Just one of the many directions you could go with this.)
Both the literary devices and the hotness factor was great, just great.
I looked through your other things but honestly I can't handle multi-ships when the mc's girl(s) get screwed by other guys. But the writing of those stories (what I checked) was also really good.
Also, I will try to be more aware of my confidence from now on!
You've kept the main character growing in his understanding of how to use the "power" that he stumbled into (excellent btw), but because its a chemical and not some supernatural "gift" you may want at some point to circle back to the lab and scientists to either share, modify or expand upon it. (if the scientists are willing participants or not is your choice, but free will usually leads to conflict down the road even if they begin as friends) Perhaps to refine it (2 versions for the dom and sub sides of the effect) or just write a few chapters to make sure that the lab continues to produce it in enough supply so our hero can keep doing what he does long into the future.
The point at the end, about the neighbor's girls and the real possibility of developing a harem, is a wonderful plot line for more chapters of its own, which I look forward to reading.
For my own addition, I would want for him to find a personal space that he can make into his own dungeon if for no other reason that to avoid using a frying pan and duct tape (and dumb luck on timing) to restrain any future victims he needs to dose. (perhaps scientist friends makes up an aerosol sleeping med easy to deliver, reliable, and avoids having to trick someone into over-the-counter dosing in water)
Keep up the good work and I look forward to many wonderful chapters to come
You were just getting to the Interesting part when you Stopped. You should pick up with the Apartment change and how he works everything out between Sanjit and himself. and does he expand his Harem by 2 or more girls. and what of Pregnancies,
I really liked how he discovered the effects of the drug as the story went on. Would like to hear some scenes from Tina or Allison's perspective.
Looking forward to reading more.
Interesting tale,
where the superpowers have a serious drawback,
and the hero finally backing off of the superpower - so to say.
Will be interesting to see, if the hero develops a conscience about using the drug/superpower on some new girls, or if he stays sane with his already...extensive harem.
Please continue!
Cheers
-Shaya
good read all through the chapters, great attempt to make the story sound real, but I would prefer the ghero getting money from his indian neighbor and going to get more girls himself
Very unique story! Sometimes even funny! Thank you for completing it
What an unusual premise! I congratulate you Boratus, on your wonderful imagination. I look forward to further chapters. One small point; I once had a broken nose, and while I could still function as a human being afterwards, I most certainly could not have eaten food and got wood for fucking! That bit needs a re-write; but a consistent 4stars for all the rest of this work.
Such a good story, so hot! I love the way you added the husband into the equation. Keep it up, you're a talented writer! I want to see more from you.
I really enjoyed reading this. The sex scenes were hot and the story itself was compelling as well. I'm looking forward to reading your other works!
I really liked this. The sex scenes were really hot, and you did a great job writing both the dominant and submissive side. The whole premise was pretty clever actually and was written well throughout the story.
My only complaint would be that this could use more substance. I like that you didn't get bogged down with details, but the pace was fast. I think the settings and characters could use more description, and not just initially. It's not necessary to be constantly referring to their looks and where they are, but I did lose track of who Tina was and who Allison was. Maybe it's just me though. Anyway, this was great. Thanks!
I see you uploaded a new story a couple of weeks ago. I'm gonna read that soon, but *this* is the one I've been eagerly waiting to see continued!
I really like your story.
The one thing I'd love to see, is Jeff returning to the club and using his confidence to seduce more women and as others have mentioned maybe some conflict. Perhaps the head of the lab discovers that the drugs weren't actually disposed of properly and begins to investigate. Have Jeff slowly and subtely start working on her with his confident self and she realizes as she's succumbing to his charms that he must be the culprit...only after she dutifully swallows his load of course.
Youre a great writer, please continue this story.
pls give a statement wether u are continuing the story or not.
I'm currently working on completing I Think in its entirety. Depending on the response I will complete this one as well.
Hi mate thanks for a great read. You nailed the sex and the mind control. I personally would like to see more descriptions of genitalia eg lips hair hairless... Great read! Danny.
Great story! Good writing. You do a good job balancing the sex with developing the characters.
I like your story. It's fascinating. Please write more. Thank you.
I'm glad to hear you're working on "I Think"!
In this story I'd like to see how he deals with his friend, and what happens at work.
Does taking the drug somehow have long term affects on his confidence? Or is it his self hypnotizing that does it. How potent IS his cum? When ingested into the body other ways (suppository) does it perhaps have other qualities (longer lasting/smoother)?
Thanks! I'm glad I found your stories!
I've got to say, this is one of my favorite mind control stories. I wish you would update it because I really want to see how it continues and ends.
Now that he has everyone Programmed. He can put a Door between the Apartments. or get 2 Condo's . make sure that there is Room for Children. Sunita & Tina and Allison will want some.
I like the positive / negative affects of the drug. I wonder how much his human understanding of the drug is helping him to overcome those negatives.
This is a great story. Keep it going. There is a great base to branch out in many directions with the characters. I hope you get back to this story soon.
I really wish you'd continue and eventually wrap this story up properly. It's always been one of my favorites on here.
it's a shame when an author as prolific as yourself fails to finish a story this good. I fear though that the author may have quit literotica completely, or at the least quit writing.
this was shaping up to be an excellent tale.
I especially like that his power isn't absolute and there are built-in limitations. I hope that eventually he'll wean himself off of the drug. What about the friend that wanted in?
Boratus, I see you are still writing and I thank you. I just ask that you come back to this wonderful story, so much potential left and we can hardly wait, it has been too long.
JT
Good storytelling and good plot. I like the ups and downs of the main character because it is like real life. Please keep writing - you have great story lines and a realistic approach to characters.
the five chapters of confidence are well written with a good storyline to go with the sex. great read.
What's really great about this concept is about the limiting factor of the "drugs." It adds suspense and makes us wander what will the author do to overcome it? Hence when we are rewarded with your creative and juicy ways, we enjoy it more so than other brain-dead stories. My only wish is that you can come up with more struggles for the main character, and with an equally ravishing solution for them. Cheers!
Keep it up!
Love your stories, love the changes and then the calm current of event that follow.
I see you wrote this years ago and yet, after so many comments, no more chapters,
I sure do hope it will change soon.
This is an great story. The character reactions to the time line of the drug, realistic and interesting. I also liked the introduction of the suggestive side of the drug a good twist. Please keep writing.
I have really enjoyed it, and keep coming back to see if you have added to it. It has so much room to grow. A great start to an epic tale. JT
My second time reading this story. They should go farther He should Impregnate Sunita and have Sanjit Raise the Baby as his. Then he can get more women to do as he pleases and make sure there are No More Married women.
I enjoyed reading your story. Keep in mind it is your story, not anyone else's. Keep up the good work
Very well written and lots of fun too. It's a shame that this wasn't finished. But it was a fun read just the same. Thank you!
Great series would like to see more and maybe involve his chemist friend and develop the drug more
Mike
I like the story as a whole, one thing that I didn't like in particular though was the cheap gimmick "stealing someone's wife, oh, she was being cheated on so it's ok".
I enjoyed your story. I think Jeff sounds like he doesn’t need the drug so much anymore. Of course if he keeps it up, he could be in real trouble down the road. If I ever get mind control I’ll go crazy trying to put in suggestions and triggers.
Another man on harem?
Nope!
Nope?
A big nope.
And nope.
Just like the other stories I've read, why authors always add another man in the story if the mc always say "my exclusive girl/mine only, etc. etc." It's so inconsistent.
At this case, the mc already has all the man owned, I'm fine if it's only his wife, but what's the point to share his others girl? He get psychology pleasure? I wouldn't even blink my eyes if mc would become bi in the next chapter.
A big turn off I would say.
What a story
This is a captivating tale. One of the aspects I’ve enjoyed most is Jeff slowly discovering what the drug can do. Please keep going.
Started in the middle, but I like it - going back to read from the beginning.
I love reading your story, it was ok at the beginning but has just built and built. I love how he has been so powerful just from having enormous confidence. And of course I wish I had that. I have to say though you are showing me it’s in my power I just need to do it. So your not only giving me a show but teaching me a valuable lesson. Thank you for both…. Now let me get back to reading more… Ed