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English
Nice piece
And yes, quite British!
I would have liked more insight into what the two characters were thinking/feeling - especially Sarah. I look forward to the next chapter!
Short & Sweet
Gud 1 ..but looked abstract
My third person story
Thanks for the comments, I will take them into account for the next couple of chapters.
I wrote this one as an experiment in 3rd person writing, I am currently working on 4 more of this pair and two first person parallel stories on another pair. Then there is a dumped man finding new friends. Rest of my ideas are SF and not erotic!
BTW I used to know a small number of single older women on the shelf they do exist, and they do tend to defend themselves from men.
I tend to prefer more romantic to out and out porn,
I like the concept
It could have been developed quite a bit more, that delicate dance that happens before man and woman have sex. The sex itself was realistic, not the typical porn scene where there's oral first, etc. The feeling of the narrative is a little stilted, but it's a good plot.
Fashion show
You were being a fashionista! The clothes discription in the beginning read like something out of the fashion pages of a newspaper. The story idea is good. I think you need to look for an editor. Not a newspaper one (lol)
Thanks
Well I am trying to describe in my minds eye what they look like. I am also trying out SciFi stories
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