Queen

Good but longer chapters and she should get pregnant

Longer chapters

There will be longer chapters I promise. I just had to get it started you know? And I dunno about pregnancy yet, maybe.

Concept is sound

I really think an editor or proofreader would be helpful for you. There are several misused words such as quart instead of court. There were also changes in point of view that could be much smoother. Another method that is helpful is to read yoour story aloud.
I hope this is helpful for you.
Sherrylee

I liked it.

Pretty good start. keep writing