It was a great story about passion and I could really feel the emotions. A little I felt was lacking was a little more of the imagery of the environment around you at your date. The sun out transitioning into a late night. The people the lines. The little stuff to me would have made it even more exciting and put me into that place a bit more.
Write more about these two lovely ladies, because this is better than most stories on here, I don't know why it received such a low rating. 5 star writing indeed!!!
Love your story so far. I was in Melbourne this past May and was actually at Luna Park in St Kilda, spent an entire day in that area and had a blast. Knowing where your story is located just adds so much more. Hopefully someday I can go back.
English
First Date
It was a great story about passion and I could really feel the emotions. A little I felt was lacking was a little more of the imagery of the environment around you at your date. The sun out transitioning into a late night. The people the lines. The little stuff to me would have made it even more exciting and put me into that place a bit more.
Overall though I loved it
Mdawg
ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT
Write more about these two lovely ladies, because this is better than most stories on here, I don't know why it received such a low rating. 5 star writing indeed!!!
You are such a great writer!
That was pure magic. I loved it!
Love your story so far. I was in Melbourne this past May and was actually at Luna Park in St Kilda, spent an entire day in that area and had a blast. Knowing where your story is located just adds so much more. Hopefully someday I can go back.
Wow
That was great !
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