All Comments on 'A Toy's Battle Ch. 01'

Congratulations, this was very good. Slow build up, heavy on the sensual while giving hints about what kind of world into which she been thrust. You did well setting the mood with imagery, touch and scents. You gave just enough, perfect.

I have one little nit to pick. You have her set up as a virgin, then describe her as being erotically pierced. It just doesn't work. Either she's pierced or she's a virgin. Makes no sense that a virgin is going to get her nipples and clit hood pierced...

I know several girls who were virgins when they got pierced, have to remember that's a personal preference. Not everyone that gets pierced has had sex before, most have sure, but not all. I have various friends who were virgins (most of them are married now) that got erotically pierced just because they wanted to be pierced. So it does work, it's just hard for most to believe because of the forgotten fact that you can pierce whatever you want after you're 18 regardless of virginity or not.

Thank you very much though, I do like to play a bit with both sensual romance and the dirty dark painful fun. Hope you enjoy part two when it clears.