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English
5ed
but with a question are you the one that had the line about the lipstick on the plastic spoon, if so that was one of the most stunning evocative lines i've ever seen.
this poem could use some work
these lines very good
Every shadow is,
paper dolls dressing by the Moon.
Having issues with comments today....let me try again
I liked this - especially the way it flows and the rhythm. I think it could be stronger by reinforcing the metaphors/links within stanzas. Specifically:
2nd stanza: 'your outline' does not really seem to relate to noon winds, but if you used your breath, whispers or something like that - it would.
3rd stanza: shadow talks and plays, if changed to shadow flickers and plays then relates more to the bedtime lightning
Just suggestions - I do like it as is.
SHADOWS ON THE WALL
cast by flickering moonbeams, TK U MLJ LV NV
This poem
was mentioned on New Poems Recommendations in the poetry forum.
Beautiful, Njoyjade -
silently evocative and wholesome.
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