All Comments on 'Unmasked and Exposed'

by LaRascasse

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  • 17 Comments
ballznall60ballznall60over 11 years ago
Excellent!

One of the best. Beautifully written. Hope you win. And PLEASE write more.

lonesomedove66lonesomedove66over 11 years ago
Amazing!!

That was beautiful, sad, poetic and poignant. Well done

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago

beautifully written and heartbreaking

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
depressingly beautiful

I don't like sad stories, but the way you wrote it glued my eyes until the last word of this piece.

geemeedeegeemeedeeover 11 years ago

So well-done and so awful. It pained me, but I read the whole thing. You're very talented.

delightdawndelightdawnover 11 years ago
Lovely

Well written and not your average sex story. It is much deeper than that. It takes you somewhere, somewhere your not sure you want to go but you have to finish it. Then your left wishing it wasn't the end. Beautiful.

DreamrealDreamrealover 11 years ago
Trite and boring

Your first and only gay story makes gays out to be either week and pathetic or vile rapist and pedophiles. Stick to straight writing where you know your audience. To write a gay story on a dare and to make it demeaning and violent with no sense of love or morals Is shameful.

Taming_youTaming_youover 11 years ago
@Dreamreal

It's always interesting to hear different opinions on a story, but I think you're one of the few who unfortunately stayed on the surface of this text. The author didn't mean to say that all homosexuals are "either week and pathetic or vile rapist and pedophiles". If you think of Leslie as weak, I can't help but think that you never had to endure rough treatment. In my opinion he has shown great courage: even if everyone mistreated him he never lost faith in humanity, at least not completely. At the point at whcih we get to know him he is less broken than a person could be after such treatment. Furthermore I'd like to remind you of Angel. What is week about him? He was unlucky in his life, yes, he wasn't able to take care of Leslie,yes, but he changed. Angel started fighting for the rights of homosexuals and he never wanted leslie to leave. He has stayed the greatest reason for leslie to survive.

LaRascasse most probably chose the people Leslie met to bet rapists to add to the dark atmosphere. You can't deny that there are a lot of people out there who are stuck in such an environment or who have fetishes or have simply endured a similiar treatment, causing them to punish someone else for this. Where light is, are shadows. Unfortunately Leslie drifted into those shadows, as said at the beginning of the story.

Finally i have to say that morals and love are playing a big role in this story and also the loss of those. I did not know that this was LaRascasse's only gay story, but from your comment I know that you did. Maybe this section of Literotica wasn't meant for you? Stick to those stories which you enjoy reading or learn to distinguish between critique and personal opinion.

Now...

@LaRascasse: Thank you very much for this story. i really enjoyed reading it. I really wished I could help Leslie. Will there be another part?

MSTarotMSTarotover 11 years ago
Not Earl Grey

By that I mean it's not my normal cup of tea. That being said I love this story. I have over the year read a few stories taken from the point of view of a gay male. They always have a tendency to make the character to be almost female. This didn't.

Your writing is beautiful. You managed to get a lot of story into a few pages which is just what a short story writer should be able to do.

I normally give a short (Or Long) critique of stories I read.Commenting on anything I see that might would have worked better another way. It the kind of comment I would like to get and almost never do. I can't do that for this story.

I didn't see a thing wrong with it. Five stars.

M.S.Tarot

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
EH

I don't see a HALLOWEEN theme in this story.Why is it in the contest. It's more a Non-consent/Reluctance story.The writing is OK,the story line not so much.A dare huh. I dare you to write a gay male story with a plot and not just majority episodes of non consent.

popparazzipopparazziover 11 years ago
@Taming_you

"I did not know that this was LaRascasse's only gay story, but from your comment I know that you did. Maybe this section of Literotica wasn't meant for you? Stick to those stories which you enjoy reading or learn to distinguish between critique and personal opinion"

Really now.Considering the beginning of this story the author wrote

"This is my first (and probably last) attempt at Gay Male. The inception of the story happened when a female author friend of mine (who adores this category) placed a bet with me that a straight guy (namely me) cannot write a Gay story. Here is my attempt at proving her wrong. I look forward to your comments and feedback here."

Makes me wonder did YOU read the story from the beginning Maybe you should have left out that portion of your comment in your earlier post.

Things that make you go HMMMMM

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
On Character-based writing.

@ anonymous, and others missing the "plot". This is called "character-based writing", where the focus of a novel or short story is on the main character(s) and not on a specific series of events with rising action, climax, and resolution, also known as 'plot'. Most commonly used in nonfiction bios/autobios, also commonly used within the romance genre.

This piece is actually a very good example of this style of writing.

TimothyMTimothyMover 11 years ago
Very dark, but well done.

This story scared me and the ghost analogy at the end was another tie with the Halloween theme, apart from the obvious mask reference. The saddest part was that Leslie actually experienced love and gave it up, now having just the memory of Angel to cherish and comfort his abused soul.

VyresOfTheArtVyresOfTheArtabout 11 years ago
Wow

Wow, this was a super dark story.. Poor Leslie.. Even after finding love, he gives it up to keep his love safe.. Very well written though, kudos.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
OMG!

This story is probably the most depressing piece of literature i've ever read. That being said, it is also one of the most thought out and riveting stories i've read. My eyes were glued to the words. Couldn't skip any lines. Wow! I wish it were happier but you still get 5 stars. Would give you 10 stars if I could.

Dharmie.

FatBottomedGirlFatBottomedGirlabout 8 years ago
Oh wow. Just wow.

I cried. A lot!

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Perfectly Appalling

An extremely well-written and gripping description of the pain of existence in the homosexual underworld of the Big Apple. I know there are people like Leslie's tormentors out there, but reading about their horrifying deeds wasn't what I came to a sexual fantasy site to do-- hence the 3-star rating. Further, the author's choice of LSD as the drug that allowed Leslie to cope with his living hell was obviously from ignorance-- his character's experiences combined with that drug would very likely have ended in screaming insanity and/or suicide-- not an escape.

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I like writing. Trying my hand at erotic writing now. Other facts about me: Galactic powerbroker. Benevolent celestial overlord. Compulsive dreamer. Confirmed sapiosexual. Fanatic bibliophile. Had the original idea for Facebook while I was still in utero. Interested i...