Thanks for sharing!
Ending it after chp. 4 would have worked well. It would have been dramatic, very effective, and it would have left readers clamoring for more, but it would have worked (see Harddaysknight's comment at the end of chp. 4). End it here? That doesn't work nearly as well. Still, this is qhml1's story so he gets to take it wherever he wants. Thanks for sharing, I can't wait for the next installment.
Sometimes you really regret that the limit is five stars.
First it must be said , the characters started to parody themselves. I had the image of this author dictating the story to a voice recorder, while on a treadmill, between ESPN highlights during commercials.
The showdown scene with rogue cousin Ronnie was a mere shadow compared to previous 440 volt action scenes. The line that Ronnie sleeps with the catfishes was glib, a nice twist on the Godfather line but hearing this 3rd hand was very unsatisfying.
Referring back to Mario Puzo's epic novel : all the violence scenes were detailed in landmark stye as Qhml1 has done previously. That would have served as salty yang to enhance all the sweet but sometimes smothering family / romantic ying that largely dominated part 5.
I'm not smart enough to answer the author's question , as to the question is this the end. If I was, maybe I could create some nigh immortal characters that have paced this story's stage. I've quarreled with a fair part of the content here but MUST pay tribute to the big finish. I needed a pitcher of ice water at the end. Whoa ! Enough said.
One very small last quibble borne from my overall through enjoyment of this story : LOVED the character of Gwen's father and wish he had been utilized more in some form or fashion. I realize south of the Mason-Dixon line wasn't his home turf.
He couldn't be the quintessential power broker that he was in first installment. but couldn't he have been wedged in here somewhere in a small but memorable role? Gwen is his only daughter, afterall. BTW five stars for this installment !
I had my issues with a fair % of it's content but wild horses couldn't have distracted me from last page & a half. Clutch writing and talent of Qhml1 ... ultimately not to be denied, to say the least. It was akin to some championship games of Micheal Jordon . In & out of synch for 3 quarters , then in money time going terminator mode for triumph.
5 stars for the story, but hate the direction. I can only speak of my opinion, but to do that to him was criminal. He did give into his body, but she was in the wrong. I still see the spoiled rich girl here. She just had to have him. No matter what the cost. Even raising the girl did not grow her up enough to accept her actions from the past. But, the end does not justify the means. She is in the wrong.
is she now pregnant. that will firfill qwen and hardys life and bound. nice story and a good ending or is it...?????????????????????
one hell of a writter 10 stars
Hope you continue the story, a good read
You really know how to transmit emotions with words. I hope you will write many more stories for us!
A new beginning. Well done. The question is what is going to happen when they discover a certain Captain has been with them both?
What will Hardy think when he learns Gwen has munched carpets? I will say that did come out of left field, her and Anne. I will have to read the first chapters over to see if there was any reference to Gwen having a lesbian relationship. A surprise like this so late in the story seems implausible. I hope it doesn't become a 3'some. You handled the reconciliation well. Very nice. Please keep it real. Melissa is a nice addition.
I look forward to the next installment.
T Wolfe said it best....But folks can always try. TK U MLJ LV NV
You wouldn't have to end it here, there are still plenty of avenues to explore, but it is a good place to end it I suppose. It would be nice to visit with the Wilkies later on, a little baby, and grown young woman in college, and all the trouble that can be. I am sure you could imagine a story line for that.
yes, I thought you're smarter. Instead you just write out in blue and will end up like DQS = miserably failed
but then, eventhought you started her a bit schizophrenic (like in old days) I guess your brain came back to work and you finished it nicely.
still a lot better than your hero
I sure hope there is more to this saga!
However, in this chapter we see Hubby scrub a lot of 'hardass' off of his reputation! We also see him pay the price for being careless, both tactically in assuming a friend was at the door, and strategically, in allowing Robbie to get back into his bailiwick undetected!
Picking at least two nits (actually 'not's) which shoulda been 'now's, which caused double-takes until 'typo' became obvious!
Concur that the 'rape' scene was torrid. Big error in not having Sweetie video-tape it, so she could offer it to him if he was able to keep it soft and wanted evidence of her crime! Or put it in '30 year storage' for review and inspiration in 2040 (if he reacted like a live human male!)
Thanks for the All-American 'happy ending' wrap-up, but I am on the Ch.4 'adios' side! Wouldn't mind new stories with these characters, but NOT a continuation!
you seem to lack Q's absolute love and admiration of big tits and the power they have over men of all ages. You also seem to lack the pleasure Q takes from tormenting us readers by delivering the story in real time. This story spanned a few years, yet you posted it in a few weeks. Very un-Q like. You also had only one superhuman in the story, and he was the hero, not some scary random guy passing through. You do, however, threaten to make this an unending story, introducing characters seemingly at random, but with the possibility of giving each his/her own mini-series. That is truly Q-esque is scoop. I enjoyed this part of the story that was beyond the end, but if you want to be like Q when you grow up, you need to post much less frequently and place much larger tits on your female characters, and then have men fall dumb in the presence of great tits. Have eyeballs pierced by flying buttons and rock hard nipples. Allow more stuttering from the males when the large tits, followed closely by beautiful women, enter a room. I haven't even mentioned the younger stud with the huge dick. They always have bigger dicks. You did manage to sneak in a black guy with a big cock, so kudos there. All in all, it was fun to read, but you, sir, are no Q and never will be until the heroines get really big tits! I hope I made my points, both of them, like two big tits!
Well what can I say but this is what I love to read, drama, sex mayhem, if I ever do make a profile on this site you will be one of my favorite writers, hope to see some more in the future.
I was disappointed at the end of chapter 4 as I thought it was the end of the tale. then this chapter pops up and adds fuel to the mix with alot of unneeded filler i believe just as this hardy dude is much too good to allow a druggie to catch him with hid pants down ,but your manufactured disaster. after all my bad mouth your efforts are in the 9
First Chapter I have read. I am late to a meeting. Yep, I could see the action unfolding in my mind's eye and feel the intermixing of sexual and action is well done.
Rock on. I am going to go back for the first 4 chapters.
Didn't like Gwen's character at all initially, but now she has won me over. I really like the way she adopted Melissa. Excellent character development; interesting and occasionally erotic series. Well done (even though the ladies tits are too small for HDK ha ha).
Followed the whole story. Excellent writing and an interest-keeping storyline. I would have liked to see clearer remorse from her, not because I'm a neandrethal but because that's the central element of successful couples therapy in infidelity cases. Especially liked the way the final chapter tied up all the disparate lines in the story. Good show..
A lot of work went into this story. It is well worth a five. Just one thing: A Charter Arms .38?
I think you should have numbered it 5a --that would have been a funny tribute to DQS1. Hope we get more--refreshing read
Knowing some of your other work, I wouldn't be surprised if Anne came back to be with both! I hope you do continue the story and Gwen really does show him how much she has matured and hopefully continues to grow and earns his trust. You made us believe she has socially redeeming qualities, don't trash her.
I have said it before, I will say it again, it takes a gifted writer to be able to take the reader from hating a character to loving and rooting for them. Thank you for not taking the easy route and having them reconcile at the end of the last chapter. This was a far better ending. In the process, you redeemed Hardy as well. Bravo!
Very gifted story teller. I have paid money for books not as entertaining. Keep of the good work.
I typically give a 4 to the best on this site, but your character development earned a solid 5. You are very,very good!
excellent story keep writing
That one is definately a 5. And if you choose to continue it, I'm sure it will be great. It's nice to find a story that you actually look frward to more chapters. Such interesting characters......Got to be a way to bring them back together again.
Reads like a motion picture. Loved it.
You pissed me off when I saw "The End" at the end of the last chapter. I wouldn't be sad to see it end here, although I would gladly read more.
starting to get a little stale. plus it'd be a happy ending.
I have loved it and while it could end here I wouldn't mind it going on, and it would be kind of wild if ann was involved *wink*. A decent homage to dqs for sure (and gor the less than smart anon,dqs isn't a failure,he is still working on WWWM as a 4 novel set,if you can scrape up the money it takes to read them ya might want to go to smashreads and buy them )
Absolutely magnificent. Very much the equal of DQS's stories. Thanks so much and please keep writing.
I hope this goes on. As many have said, there is still a lot meat on the bones of this story. You have done an excellent job of developing all of these characters it would be ashame to not see them finish there development
I envision lots of good work from you. You have set the bar high and I will look with anticipation for more.
Good story flow and character development with nice twists.
Keep up the good work.
I think it should be the end. It's a nice little tale just as it is.
A lot of writers here make the mistake of going on too long and end up just boring their readers. Knowing when to stop is just as important to a story as the plot.
Not sure how another chapter would fit but I'll bet the author has at least one more surprise or three waiting in the wings. Thanks for writing.
Good story but very long and since its a tribute to we all know who i guess around 50 chapters are still remaining. So by the end of 2014 or 2015 the story might come to an end.
The lez scene in the beginning kinda fucked it for me though. Which is surprising, cause those sorta scenes sort of make the world go round for me usually... I suppose it pissed me off because I didn't want that specific character, Gwen, to do that at that specific time. Anywhooo, the over all story was pretty good, with depth and development and interesting stuff going on. So good work!
...but what the hell....you're the author....the creative side of the equation while I'm only one of the readers on the 'consumer side'! From my point of view, based on my personal taste in stories; the really good ones are those that make you "care' about the characters (whether for good or bad). The best stories are the ones that make it hard to leave (say goodbye to) the characters at the story's end. WE all know around here that wherever you'll leave it and 'them'....there's a well known author around hereabouts who'd say "Life Goes On!" Whether this story continues or not, PLEASE keep the stories coming...you're certainly one of the best ones!
By the way, just so you know....It's 4:55AM as I type this....and NO, I haven't yet been to sleep. SO, being a 'new suthna' (a born Yankee, with 32 years then spent in SoCal, now in Nothe Cahlinuh) ...I'll just be saying, "G'night y'all!"
It amazes me how well thought out the storyline has been in this remarkable series, as well as the writing.
Brought tears to his old man's eyes.
Well done !
Thanks for the read.
. . . the best, most satisfying reconciliation story on this site. Words like beautiful, sensitive, passionate, erotic, warm, sweet, earthy all apply to this story. Thank you so much for sharing your immense writing talent.
I hope it is not the end. You have developed some wonderful characters that have a chance to further blossom and grow.
Thank you for sharing and please keep on writing. So far, it was a most enjoyable ride.
Would have given it 10 if possible.
Great story, one of the best.
After four chapters of decent writing, lots of angst and good plot, what happened?
Poor, poor editing, - I had to look around several times, to find which 'he' or 'she' applied to which character!
Poor plot, - the presence of Crystal and her gun at the shooting was a complete non sequitur, the whole shooting event was so trite, Mills & Boone would have edited it out.
In summary, the whole chapter felt as if you we're trying to get out of the house as soon as you could. Perhaps you were late for a tee time? A tribute to DQS and HDK. No way.
So the impossible happened. Hardy and Gwen are together again. Will it last? Will they re-marry? Will the Eagles win the Super Bowl? I'm confident we'll have a chapter 6. Excellent work.
Looking forward to the next
Chapters. Damn good story! Any siblings for Melissa?
After a very long time I found a captivating drama series that I savoured. Will now read more of your work.
Keep it up.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!
orBack to Boston to Birmingham Ch. 05
orMore submissions by qhml1.
More Comments (72 total): Page:
Edit comment orSubmit Comment
Comment posted successfully - click here to view it or write another.
Title of your comment:
Your public comment about Boston to Birmingham Ch. 05:
Please type in the security codeYou may also listen to a recording of the characters.
Title your feedback:
Your feedback to qhml1:
If you would like a response, enter your email address in this box:
Feedback sent successfully - click here to write another.
Login or Sign Up
All contents © Copyright 1998-2012. Literotica is a trademark. No part may be reproduced in any form without explicit written permission.
Terms Of Services|Report A Problem|Privacy
Password:Forgot your password?
Your current user avatar, all sizes:
You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.
Select new user avatar:
Upload and save
User avatar uploaded successfuly and waiting for moderation.