I love the way you tease when you write, but I'm hoping Ally and Ry heat things up quickly!
Thanks!
by
Anonymous10/05/12
still no incest
you should have waited to post both chapters and posted them when you had enough to get to some sex. this should have been combined with the first chapter and what you have planned for chapter three and it STILL NEEDS A GOOD EDITOR. don't write the minimum amount it just pisses off the readers just like STUPID errors do. you should not have posted this story until you atleast got them through the back massage then it would keep the readers attention while waiting for the next chapter.
Nice start, but both chapters were too short.
I agree with the other poster, that you should either post longer chapters, or wait until you have more to post.
Great buildup so far...almost seems believable...and its nice not to have the almost everpresent 38DD and 8' adjectives.
But Ch 1 & 2 could have been 1, and even better. Never wait more than one intro before you get to the good stuff! Ch 3 better get into the gritty, or we'll really be pissed.
DON'T YOU READ THE COMMENTS. IF YOU KEEP GOING THIS SLOW IT WILL BE CHRISTMAS BEFORE HE PUTS HIS HAND ON HER. SHE'S DONE EVERYTHING BUT JUMP ON HIM. I DON'T THINK YOUR FAN BASE IS GOING TO HOLD OUT TILL XMAS. MYSELF I'LL GIVE IT ONE MORE READ, HOPE THE NEXT PART IS HOTTER. OF GIVE UP. SORRY BUT IT'S TRUE.GOOD LUCK. A FAN ????????????????
by
Anonymous10/06/12
Yawn ...
Not much here.
by
Anonymous10/06/12
Won't be waiting for Chapter 3
This isn't a tease, it's a bore. Write the damn story and publish it, for God's sake. I hate authors like you who don't even know what you're going to write. Wait till you have a story, write it and publish it. I know I'm not going to click on your stories any more.
I agree with the other comments, you could've put this on chapter 1. Also, 5 stars because although it's slow. It has a nice ryhm to it, plus I prefer to read a well written story than some crap that normally gets you lost.
P.S. Keep up the good work, i'll be reading all of your masterpiece work.
by
Anonymous10/05/13
WHINERS!
i love your story, i personally find the build up quite exciting, and as for the fan-base: the lot of ya are a bunch of fuckin whiners! if you dont like the story the there is a x in the corner of the fuckin sceen! you all need to quit you bitchin!
and not to brag or anything but ive got a pretty mean caps lock. so don't fuck with me
"" Fuck, she has become such a tease. Watching her walk down the hall I could see her hips swinging from side to side. I think she was doing this on purpose, knowing that I was watching her. ""
@@ Ya think?! @@
I left her room and went downstairs behind her. My cock was getting hard again. "Shit," I thought, "she has total control over me." I felt a little embarrassed getting another erection looking at my sister. I was very conflicted. I shouldn't be having these thoughts about her. It isn't right.
@@ conflicted? Since when does a dick care when it sees titties, ass and pussy? @@
I wonder if she has the same thoughts? She must, the way she keeps showing off her body. I wonder why her nipples were so hard? Was she thinking about the hot tub and the back rub? It will be nice to see her in her bikini again. My love for my sister was quickly turning to lust; and I was enjoying the thought. What I would like to do to her. Now I have admitted it. I want my sister. Little Ally. I wanted her. ""
@@ well at least we have THAT out of the way! Hopefully he wont be a wussy about it! @@
English
L'il Sis
I love the way you tease when you write, but I'm hoping Ally and Ry heat things up quickly!
Thanks!
still no incest
you should have waited to post both chapters and posted them when you had enough to get to some sex. this should have been combined with the first chapter and what you have planned for chapter three and it STILL NEEDS A GOOD EDITOR. don't write the minimum amount it just pisses off the readers just like STUPID errors do. you should not have posted this story until you atleast got them through the back massage then it would keep the readers attention while waiting for the next chapter.
nice start...but...
Nice start, but both chapters were too short.
I agree with the other poster, that you should either post longer chapters, or wait until you have more to post.
Great buildup so far...almost seems believable...and its nice not to have the almost everpresent 38DD and 8' adjectives.
Look forward to next installment!
Too slow...
wasting my time...
Tantalizing
But Ch 1 & 2 could have been 1, and even better. Never wait more than one intro before you get to the good stuff! Ch 3 better get into the gritty, or we'll really be pissed.
WTF WAY WAY WAY TO SLOW
of a build up,hope its worth the wait
WHAT'S WRONG ?????????????
DON'T YOU READ THE COMMENTS. IF YOU KEEP GOING THIS SLOW IT WILL BE CHRISTMAS BEFORE HE PUTS HIS HAND ON HER. SHE'S DONE EVERYTHING BUT JUMP ON HIM. I DON'T THINK YOUR FAN BASE IS GOING TO HOLD OUT TILL XMAS. MYSELF I'LL GIVE IT ONE MORE READ, HOPE THE NEXT PART IS HOTTER. OF GIVE UP. SORRY BUT IT'S TRUE.GOOD LUCK. A FAN ????????????????
Yawn ...
Not much here.
Won't be waiting for Chapter 3
This isn't a tease, it's a bore. Write the damn story and publish it, for God's sake. I hate authors like you who don't even know what you're going to write. Wait till you have a story, write it and publish it. I know I'm not going to click on your stories any more.
Just a bunch of boring BS.
Nice slow build up.
I agree with the other comments, you could've put this on chapter 1. Also, 5 stars because although it's slow. It has a nice ryhm to it, plus I prefer to read a well written story than some crap that normally gets you lost.
P.S. Keep up the good work, i'll be reading all of your masterpiece work.
WHINERS!
i love your story, i personally find the build up quite exciting, and as for the fan-base: the lot of ya are a bunch of fuckin whiners! if you dont like the story the there is a x in the corner of the fuckin sceen! you all need to quit you bitchin!
and not to brag or anything but ive got a pretty mean caps lock. so don't fuck with me
"" Fuck, she has become such a tease. Watching her walk down the hall I could see her hips swinging from side to side. I think she was doing this on purpose, knowing that I was watching her. ""
@@ Ya think?! @@
I left her room and went downstairs behind her. My cock was getting hard again. "Shit," I thought, "she has total control over me." I felt a little embarrassed getting another erection looking at my sister. I was very conflicted. I shouldn't be having these thoughts about her. It isn't right.
@@ conflicted? Since when does a dick care when it sees titties, ass and pussy? @@
I wonder if she has the same thoughts? She must, the way she keeps showing off her body. I wonder why her nipples were so hard? Was she thinking about the hot tub and the back rub? It will be nice to see her in her bikini again. My love for my sister was quickly turning to lust; and I was enjoying the thought. What I would like to do to her. Now I have admitted it. I want my sister. Little Ally. I wanted her. ""
@@ well at least we have THAT out of the way! Hopefully he wont be a wussy about it! @@
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