This Is A Outrage (- ously suspenseful Cliffhanger) !
Well I'm eager to know what the runaway mom has to say for herself. I wouldn't say this is a groundbreaking, innovative story for this author nut it's been awoke since his last submission. He's been missed.
From the look of this one and past track record, Mr. Macomber shows minimal rust from layoff & will deliver on a intriguing premis. never deigning to go beyond PG-13 . Jimmy Stewart could have played virtually all the male leads in his stories.
"If I had my career over again? Maybe I'd say to myself, speed it up a little. "
J.S. . I hope this author keeps thie noted actor'a advce in mind, in terms of putting out the sequel.
the author has a knack of putting themes into stories that leave the readers imagination on hold to the endings, TK U MLJ LV NV
by
Anonymous10/12/12
WHORE AT THE DOOR!!!
The "WIFE" Ran away with the "BABY DADDY", and has been banging the crap out of him for the last several years....."HE" was getting a little Mother/Daughter action, until something spooked him.....
PLEASE don't make us wait weeks or months for the follow up like more than a few author's have been doing lately!! (I know that you're pretty good about fast follow-ups, so keep up the good job!!!!)
Too early to predict as the story can go anywhere from here. I personally would love to see Lori suffer and get her ass kicked. I hope there is no wimpish ending out here with The husband taking her back. For that matter he should not support her at all.
by
Anonymous10/12/12
One of the best authors on this site!
Though slightly predictable (mom/boyfriend disappear same day) the story still held my attention, didn't drag on, and completely addressed the authors intention. Well Done!!!!
Probably the author did not want to have people complaining about how long his stories are.... but I certainly would prefer to read it at one sitting. Next time I will wait for the second part before opening! It it had said Ch 01 then I would have opened it hoping for a twenty chapter 120 page story....
Just about everything so far was forseeable except for Emily taking a letter written by her mother along to the Police Station. He really should have gone visiting the old boss of his wife and rubbed his nose in that letter. I wonder if Lori knows about her granddaughter ?
Thanks FM!
by
Anonymous10/12/12
brilliant
a story that fufills all the requirements of a good novel....more please
she killed the daughter's lover or not, she's still a bitch for just taking off and leaving him behind without a clue as to where she went. I agree that he should just leave her by the door. He doesn't need someone like her back in his life. He could have been in jail by this time if that letter hadn't arrived. And even then, it might have come too late to help him from going to jail and becoming the target of others.
Good mystery. I can't wait for the second part. I think I know where this is going but I'm sure there will be a surprise or two to come. Keep writing I love your stories.
by
Anonymous10/12/12
close the door
after telling her to go find her real love...as far as id be concerned the divorce is final...there is a good hotel somewhere close..and if she did leave with brandon...tell her he now owes child support to her grand daughter who im sure emily will tell her to go back to brandon as if i was her family and she did what she did id never want to see the bitch again...at this point i probably would really want to kill her
Brandon and Lori ran off together and now Brandon figured out she is really older than she looked. Why the husband never figured out that the two disappearances were related is somewhat beyond me, but he sounds a bit slow for a history professor, so he never even mentioned it to the police. Now she is back and hopefully he has enough sense to continue with Bridget and tell Lori to hit the road again. Maybe she can go live with her idiot father, they should get on well together.
you are back on your game. A great story so far. Hope the next chapter is not too long in coming. This reader will be thinking about the story until your next chapter is printed.
First, I gave this 5*s.
My only peeve is that too much has been telegraphed and is formalistic -
1) She's run off wit Brandon (telegraphed, but not formula, rather a nice twist) - well, I'm assuming it. It flows from your build up of sibling rivalry between mother and daughter. One note: it would be easy to find him as a 3rd year law student would need loans and such so would have quite an extensive trail. Oh, and mean old daddy would have found him ASAP, a good detective would have found out about the affair because (s)he'd be looking for it as a possible explanation for Lori's disappearance.
2) Hubby always finds his new love shortly after beginning divorce proceedings.
3) Child always pushes reluctant dad into new relationship.
4) Husband is clueless
5) Wife leaves no trail, no witnesses, no one knew of affair. Some authors avoid this by making the clues slight enough that husband misses them at the time. I hope that you explain how husband was so easily duped.
If this continues to follow formula:
a) wife (Lori) admits a mistake and wants back, or
b) needs money and wants to complicate the divorce (but its over?)
c) Husband will get together with Bridget
I did like the Lamaze Class touch, the police interrogation, the reaction by the community and especially the school. If Duke and Colorado have taught us anything, it's that knee-jerk reaction of righteous indignation that has nothing to do with reality. For instance, the 80 professors who signed that letter at Duke, as far as I can tell, none have apologized.
Thinking about it, you've done something unusual, you made a character who three dimensional, I'd like to know him.
Finally, I really liked how you tied his class to his life.
Again, a 5 star effort,
You would have to stretch things to have any sort of reconciliation of this marriage.If you do, the formula is that husband was unaware of certain facts, most of which were his fault, so they get back together. I don't see that here, you are too good a writer to rewrite the story in the 2nd chapter.
thanks!
by
Anonymous10/12/12
A very good read so far.....
I gave you a 5 because you deserved it. Can't wait for the next installment.
First of all, I gave it 5* only because there is no 6,7,8,9 or 10*. Now, that being said, it was pretty obvious that Lori had di di'd on out of town when she didn't get home the same day Emily broke up with Brandon and that she was going to show up before it was over. After all, it wouldn't be very interesting if the ex didn't make an appearance to get either shot down in flames or be there for reconciliation (I hope not but it's your story). Now the question is, did Lori run off with the same scum bag that got her daughter pregnant or did she vamoose with someone else we haven't met? Her car being found at the university (Ga. State, Emory?) would make you think the first but one thing I've learned is that some Literotica authors are good at throwing in a twist that would make Martin Cruz Smith proud. I guess we will see what happens in the next installment and I hope the wait isn't too long.
By the way, has Miz Sarah been up to anything interesting lately?
I thought I'd pop into Literotica and see what new stories were posted today. Just a quick look. But NOooo, you had to post a new one. And I always have to read yours immediately. So now my whole afternoon is fucked trying to rearrange things to fit around you.
rj
by
Anonymous10/12/12
Just Excellent
As usual you have done a masterful job of telling this story and presenting the characters with many difficult decisions. I look forward to Pt 02. Five stars from me.
The plot may be pretty obvious, unless we do get a twist. Imagine having some prick knockup your wife and your daughter. Imagine the father of the daughter's baby being the father of the baby's little sibling as well. That way, both the daughter and granddaughter will be half sisters to the bastard the wife will be bringing into the world. How cool is that? The daughter's brother is also the grandaughter's brother.The kids would be siblings as well as uncle-niece. Let's hope that don't get married in twenty years! The product of that union would be really inbred! I enjoyed this story.
as always,Francis.The story looks cut and dried,wife ran away with scumbo law student (proof that even in school they are scum) ,etc yet the title implies there is more to this then the stupid wife falling for the jerk....something is gonna happen I think,to make this less then formulaic....Francis knows Ms.Sarah is watching:)
Three coincidences are two too many, especially in a story. There is ONE glaring error (sorry FMc) - no rookie cop in a Missing Person case would forget to interrogate an offspring who is old enough to talk. Certainly not a college-aged daughter! That would very likely create some additional investigation which would be more easily tracked!
Pretty fair start!
College Dean as vigilante? Sure! People who write a dissertation on cetaceans don't call government misspending 'pork', instead it's 'blubber!'
4*
....your not going to make 'your reading public' wait 3-5+ weeks for the next part are you?....and did she take off with the 'almost' lawyer boyfriend schmuck, get pregnant with their child; her daughter's half-brother/sister, her granddaughter's younger aunt/half sibling....(like the country song "I'm My Own Grandpa"; I just love figuring the endless possibilities....maybe someone is their own cousin somewhere in there.) Speaking of which, does that mean the schmuck/former boyfriend also becomes the daughter's step-father and his OWN daughter's father/grandfather? You'd netter hurry up or I'll explode.
By the way, regarding the vigilante movies, Fonda's Ox Bow, et.al., how about "Clint's" homage to his Spaghetti western roots' homage to Ox Bow, "Hang 'Em High" He at least managed to 'get even'.....and....don't forget an example of vigilante avoidance (the anti-vigilante?)....Boo Radley of Mockingbird fame...who might have had to deal with all the town's ladies making a hero ruckus over him in spite of his "quiet shy ways".
. . . much like real life. The elements are all in place: wives do run off, daughters do get pregnant, media often jumps to false conclusions and so do police, facts don't have the same appeal as lurid supposition. You have weaved a really fine story with an all too common set of facts. Lori ringing the doorbell, probably just returned from running off with the suitor who impregnated her daughter, makes a nice twist to lead to the next post.
So this is how I expect this to go LOL -
Mom is screwing Brandon, screwing Randal over, her sister is her daughter from when she was 16 and now she has been dumped and wants back -
I REALLY don't like cuck stories. I have not read the second part but if it's going the way I think it will then it will probably be a cuck wimp husband.
by
Anonymous12/27/13
I Just Don't Get It
Redheaded people only make only 1-2% of the population, but they seem to pop up in nearly all stories on this site. Is this some sort of fetish I'm unaware of? Personally, I don't find them attractive...
English
This Is A Outrage (- ously suspenseful Cliffhanger) !
Well I'm eager to know what the runaway mom has to say for herself. I wouldn't say this is a groundbreaking, innovative story for this author nut it's been awoke since his last submission. He's been missed.
From the look of this one and past track record, Mr. Macomber shows minimal rust from layoff & will deliver on a intriguing premis. never deigning to go beyond PG-13 . Jimmy Stewart could have played virtually all the male leads in his stories.
"If I had my career over again? Maybe I'd say to myself, speed it up a little. "
J.S. . I hope this author keeps thie noted actor'a advce in mind, in terms of putting out the sequel.
THE MYSTERIES CONTINUE
the author has a knack of putting themes into stories that leave the readers imagination on hold to the endings, TK U MLJ LV NV
WHORE AT THE DOOR!!!
The "WIFE" Ran away with the "BABY DADDY", and has been banging the crap out of him for the last several years....."HE" was getting a little Mother/Daughter action, until something spooked him.....
PLEASE don't make us wait weeks or months for the follow up like more than a few author's have been doing lately!! (I know that you're pretty good about fast follow-ups, so keep up the good job!!!!)
I'm always
a sucker for cliffhanger endings!
Stylish, engaging and absorbing. Who could fail to enjoy something as good as this?
A little
Light on emotion so far, but good
too early to predict
Too early to predict as the story can go anywhere from here. I personally would love to see Lori suffer and get her ass kicked. I hope there is no wimpish ending out here with The husband taking her back. For that matter he should not support her at all.
One of the best authors on this site!
Though slightly predictable (mom/boyfriend disappear same day) the story still held my attention, didn't drag on, and completely addressed the authors intention. Well Done!!!!
Nice Cliff Hanger
Probably the author did not want to have people complaining about how long his stories are.... but I certainly would prefer to read it at one sitting. Next time I will wait for the second part before opening! It it had said Ch 01 then I would have opened it hoping for a twenty chapter 120 page story....
Just about everything so far was forseeable except for Emily taking a letter written by her mother along to the Police Station. He really should have gone visiting the old boss of his wife and rubbed his nose in that letter. I wonder if Lori knows about her granddaughter ?
Thanks FM!
brilliant
a story that fufills all the requirements of a good novel....more please
Whether
she killed the daughter's lover or not, she's still a bitch for just taking off and leaving him behind without a clue as to where she went. I agree that he should just leave her by the door. He doesn't need someone like her back in his life. He could have been in jail by this time if that letter hadn't arrived. And even then, it might have come too late to help him from going to jail and becoming the target of others.
Just slam the door in her face,
Then call the cops if she doesn't leave!
Of course,
Lori eloped with Brendon!
good
Good mystery. I can't wait for the second part. I think I know where this is going but I'm sure there will be a surprise or two to come. Keep writing I love your stories.
close the door
after telling her to go find her real love...as far as id be concerned the divorce is final...there is a good hotel somewhere close..and if she did leave with brandon...tell her he now owes child support to her grand daughter who im sure emily will tell her to go back to brandon as if i was her family and she did what she did id never want to see the bitch again...at this point i probably would really want to kill her
let me guess
lori ran away with brandon.
Hope you do better than Katmai....
And not make people wait a month or more for the next part!
I'm looking forward...
...to see how he's going to deal with the cheating slut! I hope he puts her thru the ringer!.
Brandon and Lori ran off together and now Brandon figured out she is really older than she looked. Why the husband never figured out that the two disappearances were related is somewhat beyond me, but he sounds a bit slow for a history professor, so he never even mentioned it to the police. Now she is back and hopefully he has enough sense to continue with Bridget and tell Lori to hit the road again. Maybe she can go live with her idiot father, they should get on well together.
Macomber,
you are back on your game. A great story so far. Hope the next chapter is not too long in coming. This reader will be thinking about the story until your next chapter is printed.
Great!!
Thanks for sharing!
Very good, but ...
First, I gave this 5*s.
My only peeve is that too much has been telegraphed and is formalistic -
1) She's run off wit Brandon (telegraphed, but not formula, rather a nice twist) - well, I'm assuming it. It flows from your build up of sibling rivalry between mother and daughter. One note: it would be easy to find him as a 3rd year law student would need loans and such so would have quite an extensive trail. Oh, and mean old daddy would have found him ASAP, a good detective would have found out about the affair because (s)he'd be looking for it as a possible explanation for Lori's disappearance.
2) Hubby always finds his new love shortly after beginning divorce proceedings.
3) Child always pushes reluctant dad into new relationship.
4) Husband is clueless
5) Wife leaves no trail, no witnesses, no one knew of affair. Some authors avoid this by making the clues slight enough that husband misses them at the time. I hope that you explain how husband was so easily duped.
If this continues to follow formula:
a) wife (Lori) admits a mistake and wants back, or
b) needs money and wants to complicate the divorce (but its over?)
c) Husband will get together with Bridget
I did like the Lamaze Class touch, the police interrogation, the reaction by the community and especially the school. If Duke and Colorado have taught us anything, it's that knee-jerk reaction of righteous indignation that has nothing to do with reality. For instance, the 80 professors who signed that letter at Duke, as far as I can tell, none have apologized.
Thinking about it, you've done something unusual, you made a character who three dimensional, I'd like to know him.
Finally, I really liked how you tied his class to his life.
Again, a 5 star effort,
You would have to stretch things to have any sort of reconciliation of this marriage.If you do, the formula is that husband was unaware of certain facts, most of which were his fault, so they get back together. I don't see that here, you are too good a writer to rewrite the story in the 2nd chapter.
thanks!
A very good read so far.....
I gave you a 5 because you deserved it. Can't wait for the next installment.
Some are trying to write the next installment for you
I Know there is going to be a twist or two they don't expect.
Enjoyable
Enjoyable story and look forward to the conclusion.
Needed a good read today.
First of all, I gave it 5* only because there is no 6,7,8,9 or 10*. Now, that being said, it was pretty obvious that Lori had di di'd on out of town when she didn't get home the same day Emily broke up with Brandon and that she was going to show up before it was over. After all, it wouldn't be very interesting if the ex didn't make an appearance to get either shot down in flames or be there for reconciliation (I hope not but it's your story). Now the question is, did Lori run off with the same scum bag that got her daughter pregnant or did she vamoose with someone else we haven't met? Her car being found at the university (Ga. State, Emory?) would make you think the first but one thing I've learned is that some Literotica authors are good at throwing in a twist that would make Martin Cruz Smith proud. I guess we will see what happens in the next installment and I hope the wait isn't too long.
By the way, has Miz Sarah been up to anything interesting lately?
very good
The one mystery for me is what did they (wife and boyfriend) do for money? Curious to see how that isresolved.
Thanks for nothing
I thought I'd pop into Literotica and see what new stories were posted today. Just a quick look. But NOooo, you had to post a new one. And I always have to read yours immediately. So now my whole afternoon is fucked trying to rearrange things to fit around you.
rj
Just Excellent
As usual you have done a masterful job of telling this story and presenting the characters with many difficult decisions. I look forward to Pt 02. Five stars from me.
This is very well written.
The plot may be pretty obvious, unless we do get a twist. Imagine having some prick knockup your wife and your daughter. Imagine the father of the daughter's baby being the father of the baby's little sibling as well. That way, both the daughter and granddaughter will be half sisters to the bastard the wife will be bringing into the world. How cool is that? The daughter's brother is also the grandaughter's brother.The kids would be siblings as well as uncle-niece. Let's hope that don't get married in twenty years! The product of that union would be really inbred! I enjoyed this story.
interesting
as always,Francis.The story looks cut and dried,wife ran away with scumbo law student (proof that even in school they are scum) ,etc yet the title implies there is more to this then the stupid wife falling for the jerk....something is gonna happen I think,to make this less then formulaic....Francis knows Ms.Sarah is watching:)
Good work, TTom
Three coincidences are two too many, especially in a story. There is ONE glaring error (sorry FMc) - no rookie cop in a Missing Person case would forget to interrogate an offspring who is old enough to talk. Certainly not a college-aged daughter! That would very likely create some additional investigation which would be more easily tracked!
Pretty fair start!
College Dean as vigilante? Sure! People who write a dissertation on cetaceans don't call government misspending 'pork', instead it's 'blubber!'
4*
Great Writing and Story
Every reader breathed hard and said NO! when Lori reappeared. You will have to come up wiith a terrific story to resurrect Lori at this point.
post part 2 now
i cant wait another day for it. you are one of the best.. thanks for the read
Damn Good Writing............
Anxiously waiting for part 2.
Thank you for another great story.
Thank You*****
For this gem of a story. Great read looking forward to Ch2.
Your Usual Five
I'm not going to grovel, kneel and bow to you - it's good, you always are so.......Please - Don't make us wait forever for the next part of the story.
BTW, I'll bet most of us don't care to have Lori back. Curious about her conduct - maybe the young lawyer that dated his daughter but - who cares.
Does Bridget become the new Mrs?...don't know that it matters - might be a little too cliche'!
Thanks as always, always good!
Excellent Tale
Well written and very captivating. But why is the bitch Lori back? I guess I'll find out.
GREAT SO FAR....
....your not going to make 'your reading public' wait 3-5+ weeks for the next part are you?....and did she take off with the 'almost' lawyer boyfriend schmuck, get pregnant with their child; her daughter's half-brother/sister, her granddaughter's younger aunt/half sibling....(like the country song "I'm My Own Grandpa"; I just love figuring the endless possibilities....maybe someone is their own cousin somewhere in there.) Speaking of which, does that mean the schmuck/former boyfriend also becomes the daughter's step-father and his OWN daughter's father/grandfather? You'd netter hurry up or I'll explode.
By the way, regarding the vigilante movies, Fonda's Ox Bow, et.al., how about "Clint's" homage to his Spaghetti western roots' homage to Ox Bow, "Hang 'Em High" He at least managed to 'get even'.....and....don't forget an example of vigilante avoidance (the anti-vigilante?)....Boo Radley of Mockingbird fame...who might have had to deal with all the town's ladies making a hero ruckus over him in spite of his "quiet shy ways".
Yes!
a new story from FM. That alone makes me happy
This seems very . . .
. . . much like real life. The elements are all in place: wives do run off, daughters do get pregnant, media often jumps to false conclusions and so do police, facts don't have the same appeal as lurid supposition. You have weaved a really fine story with an all too common set of facts. Lori ringing the doorbell, probably just returned from running off with the suitor who impregnated her daughter, makes a nice twist to lead to the next post.
Good job!
5*****
Good story, and he went back to date............
I'm Late To The Story
but I always read when I see "Mccomber", and I haven't read ahead, but I'm guessing Lori ran off with Brandon Hilton.
OK then -
So this is how I expect this to go LOL -
Mom is screwing Brandon, screwing Randal over, her sister is her daughter from when she was 16 and now she has been dumped and wants back -
We will see how close I get -
Nicely done so far BTW
Excellent story line and well written!
This needs a follow up otherwise would have given you a HI "5".
My bad. I see you already did the followup.
Now I'm going off to read part 2. Hope it is as good as part one.
Vigilante! Bully for you!
Excellent reading! As many others have surmised, Lori ran off with Brandon. That did not detract from the story, however. Cheers!
#2 BAD PENNIES AND CRIMINALS
always return to the scene of the crime, TK U MLJ LV NV
Good story....
I REALLY don't like cuck stories. I have not read the second part but if it's going the way I think it will then it will probably be a cuck wimp husband.
I Just Don't Get It
Redheaded people only make only 1-2% of the population, but they seem to pop up in nearly all stories on this site. Is this some sort of fetish I'm unaware of? Personally, I don't find them attractive...
a whole lot of build up
and nothing to show for it.
foreshadowing, hinting, and . . . .
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