The beginning and middle were both very good, very solid writing. I was getting a real feel for the characters and their motives. Suddenly, however, it was like a full-on torrent. Everything got rushed and it was over a lot faster than it began. A LOT could have happened in those hours at the party- so much more than was conveyed. It's okay to take your time with a story, you know. Play it out in your head and see where IT can take YOU, not the other way around. Just remember: the more time you spend on a story = more time the story can be enjoyed by your audience.
by
Anonymous10/17/12
Your knowlege of the female anatomy is limited.
Auroras? You mean areolae?
by
Anonymous10/17/12
this seems more of a nonconsensual /tricked the younger into something. by throwing her into the party with know heads up makes it more of a rape set up.
by
Anonymous10/18/12
Turn On
Hot story; however, her brother deserved a good hard spanking for not getting permission before penetrating her.
I love your stories, I only wish the whole nite had been explained in much more detail. Keep writing your stories are always instant favorites and we will never get enough
WTF! That was some Town Halloween Party. I would love to attend that one... I don't think I would partake of the action, but I would love to meet the characters and watch the fuckfest.
Not a very realistic party but decent sex... or should that be indecent sex?
English
CLEVER IDEA
This was a quick sexy read.
Sweet Treat!
Nothing puts a smile on my face like a slightly silly and very sexy incest tale! Well done!
Rushed!
The beginning and middle were both very good, very solid writing. I was getting a real feel for the characters and their motives. Suddenly, however, it was like a full-on torrent. Everything got rushed and it was over a lot faster than it began. A LOT could have happened in those hours at the party- so much more than was conveyed. It's okay to take your time with a story, you know. Play it out in your head and see where IT can take YOU, not the other way around. Just remember: the more time you spend on a story = more time the story can be enjoyed by your audience.
Your knowlege of the female anatomy is limited.
Auroras? You mean areolae?
this seems more of a nonconsensual /tricked the younger into something. by throwing her into the party with know heads up makes it more of a rape set up.
Turn On
Hot story; however, her brother deserved a good hard spanking for not getting permission before penetrating her.
Awesome story!
I love your stories, I only wish the whole nite had been explained in much more detail. Keep writing your stories are always instant favorites and we will never get enough
Halloween
Candy is dandy
But sex don't rot your teeth.
Really?
WTF! That was some Town Halloween Party. I would love to attend that one... I don't think I would partake of the action, but I would love to meet the characters and watch the fuckfest.
Not a very realistic party but decent sex... or should that be indecent sex?
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