Revisited

If only------

But then you would have to get the pill in first!

Intense

Incredible. How I wish this was possible. Well you never know. Anything is possible in the Matrix.

HA Ha ha

This isn't coherent ...

but a fairly interesting one hitter quitter read in the surreal mode. Four stars , I would gladly have added another if the author had actually written a full on story but realize that was not the objective this time . It was good , for what it was. I appreciated G. Toast's playfulness even while relating a ostensibly ' downer' , literary,mini- ditty.

great

Great little read. You have a pretty good imagination. Just one question. What was that pill?

Gee, that means you lose your(?) sons who don't like you!

Good planning(?). So is that YOU from 'even further down the line' who came back and gave you the pill to give Sweetie during the Honeymoon Bed toast? Good thing Sweetie NO LONGER has an 'even more down the line' self who could go back to your Wedding Reception toast and give YOU a LWP!

BTW - Do you remember some of the Really Hot stocks over the next 17 years?

Huh?

What's going on?

ABERRATIONS NO MATTER HOW SCARY

are sometimes doom foretellers, TK U MLJ LV NV

What if this entire thing was a dream and he killed his wife for nothing!

He was anxious to have sex and she was in the shower for more than two hours. He falls asleep and dreams his entire life. He wakes up and uses a pill that he always carries around ( given to him by his shady friend for a favor) and kills the wife!

He wouldn't realize that he killed her for nothing ! Keanu Reaves -Matrix- Mind Blown!

So cool

Going back in time is great. 5

It Was***

A read nothing more nothing less.

I'm lost

I'm sorry but I could not fully understand this story. What happened? Who gave the narrator this pill and why? How is he able to move between various time periods? There is an intriguing story somewhere here...but I can't find it.

Crazy flash-story

Cool style.

That Was A Lot Of FUN!

Great story, I enjoyed the hell out of it, and I generally don't like "flash" stories.

Hard or impossible to understand

This actually is the first time I don´t understand a story...Did he kill his 2nd Wife??
If yes - why?

Torchthebitch and PAPATOAD both will probably like this one...

I know I did!

Yes

He went back in time to his honeymoon night and armed with the knowledge of how his life was going to be, he slipped the pill in her drink to stop his future and start a new one. Minus the skank wife.
Take the tale for what it's worth. The fantasy of someone who wishes they could go back in time and change things. Someone......LIKE ME FOR EXAMPLE!

OH YEAH

pithy

liked it.

Uhhh

Did this guy just prevent his own children's birth?

That's...I mean....

The sons

Sons hated him worse than wife did - he gets a do over. 5

Subtle

Plus different, I like different. It makes a reader think, pause, reread.

Then damn you! You made the thought of that redheaded Patty, that exwife of mine pop into my head. The one I would love to look right in the eyes as my powerful fingers close around her neck and squeeze. Slowly, taking my time, enjoying the act?

Right after a glorious roll in the hay?

Devils, conflicts, emotions....pain.

One bit you too?

It shows.

Thanks,
MGM

The best emotion

Ha ha ha ha ha....more than 'just' amusing. Nicely done (the story).

It's not your normal type of story but I liked it. The twist was very enjoyable and amusing.

Frills that give a great foundation to a blockbuster

I really enjoyed the creative energy and twist of this fantasy but it was way too short. It was a great outline to fill in to a cascading set of multiple scenarios. Having been through a divorce this fantasy is extremely welcome to add to a concerto of a few others on that same line of thinking. This story has infinite potential and I would like to see it as a series in which the beleaguered husband could pop in and out at intervals. I can't help but think of Groundhog day where Bill Murray got to live the day over and over again til he made it a perfect day. Great concept I would love to see more...you are fantastic!

Just a little too disjointed

I did try and follow the time jumps but they seemed not to connect at the end of the story

They connected just fine -

The fantasy element where he knew why he needed to do it was a bit paradoxical but hell who cares - it worked lol

Nice

Prevent the disaster before it begins. Just a shame it's only fiction and not a possible reality.

Unless...
Okay I'm working on it.

I liked it.

In spite of the time travel, which always gives me a headache to contemplate (Damned Terminator films!) And in spite of a younger innocent Wifey dying without knowing the reason why, it was cleverly done.

4 Stars.

pretty cool

Great to find a story with a different twist in it's tale.

If only...

We could start over knowing what we know now...

contemplating

GT, a well written story. Sharp and to the point with well defined characters.

The problem I have with time travel, is that eventually you get to the point where you are satisfied with whatever changes you had made to the timeline. And you definitely do not want yourself or for that matter anyone else to make any further changes.

At that point you need to make time travel impossible to prevent any changes. All time travelers will come to the same conclusion eventually and all will have to find some method to prevent all time travel.

Welcome not to Paradise but Welcome to Paradox!

Hey IronDragon...

She wasn't miss totally innocent. She planned to "hop on his gravy train"--and probably not for a complete ride to the end of the tracks. I do agree that killing her may have been a bit over the top, but it will prevent her from pulling this scam on some other poor undeserving schmuck. Perhaps a better twist would be to set her up with an apparently rich dude, who would use her for sex, then sell her to a South American brothel...birds of a feather, as they say! :-) BigK

A second chance?

But which was the dream and which reality?