All Comments on 'St. Simeon'

ok D

off-hand pebbles in a stream

fire and water's

see what you did, just a slight shift - NICE

do it here:

grey of evening

and filled with images and other sense ticklers that can make me as a reader see and hear and feel what you're saying. That's my kinda poem. There are a few editorial revisions I might make, like find a way around all those apostrophe s's, and not sure if "coherence" works best in this context. I'm guessing you didn't want to go for the well-worn "meaning," but I'm afraid I'm blanking on alternates....

(BTW funny story about that profile pic: someone once asked if it was me lol. I'm old but not that old!)

Beautiful poem and easy five.

Interesting subject, and well executed.

The only quibble is the same one that Angeline mentions - the apostrophes. I find them distracting, and often unnecessary. For example:

Stanza 2: as horses' hooves strike sparks ...- why not just horse hooves strike sparks?

Stanza 4: the roar of fire and water's in our ears; time's - why not just the roar of fire and water in our ears?

Minor quibbles as usual. And you may well have reasons that escape me (meter, or something like that).

ruin itself precedes an aftermath of destruction. TK U MLJ LV NV

Much much better than your porcine poem. Bit unsure about the line: "the lapping tongues, as horses hooves strike sparks out of the flint," - dropping "horses" and substituting "out of the" with from doesn't cut it either.

A good one.