All Comments on 'Diary of a Brother and Sister'

you really need to either rewrite this using a GOOD ENGLISH EDITOR or delete it and post it in your native language in the proper catagory. never post a story without going through a GOOD ENGLISH EDITOR if your native language is not english and there is no way yours is. this site has a seperate area for nonenglish stories for a reason USE IT.

To last poster - how dare you criticise someone who puts in the work to write a story? The world is full of people who have learned another language, it's no disgrace to write imperfectlywhile learning.

To Author - delete stupid comments and enjoy good ones. You did well. I would have put in less storytelling, but that's my preference, and our own preferences are never grounds for complaint about others.

In my opinion the storytelling is what makes this story great. Once you've read a couple hundred sories that consist of :

1. We were a normal family. 2. I never thought I would fuck my sister. 3. I tucked my sister. 4. I liked it. 5. The End.

The story built around it and throughout, the "how we got there", in essence the non sexual details of the story are what makes the difference. And this story has the goods.

Running the story by an English speaking editor would have been a good idea, but there is an extent to which the broken English helps keep the story raw and believable, so over all not a big loss. Great job! I give 4 stars.

A little more development of the sex scene once you actually got there, and an English edit would have earned 5 stars.

First let me say this, the other comments were left by anonymous readers who are not members here. This does not necessarily lesson their opinions but rather shows how much courage they have to be known.

That being said, this story feels like a rough draft to me. There are desperate issues with the readability of it due to a conversion from your native language but the writing pattern makes the story very much of a turn off. The reader does not get engaged with the story but rather the task of deciphering your incorrect formatting. The off style does support your claim of nationality and ethnicity so suspension of disbelief allows the reader to picture some of your character but the conversational dialog is terrible to be generous.

I would suggest you seek out an English editor or perhaps a ghost to re write this story. The sister’s character needs to be built up a bit. The main character needs to be refined and the story just feels parochial over all.

The story could be distinguished from other stories in the site which are mostly set up on western context with rampant sexual activities. It is one of the best stories I have ever read on the site. Raw and spontaneous writing style adds life in it as if it is a real incident and not a work of fiction. I give 5/5.

Bravo and kudos for taking the time to share a story that holds such importance for you. To speak a bit more tactfully, I believe it is important to put in the time to make all of your works as presentable and as polished as possible. One of the best staples of writing, whether it's best-selling fiction or no-holds-barred romps on Literotica:

If you don't plan on revising, there's no point to writing.

All writers have much to learn, regardless of skill level. There are many facets of the craft, ranging from story structure to simple "nuts and bolts" mechanics of language. Cheers for the story, and best of luck with future submissions.

Took forever to get at nothing exciting. Writing is not for you.

Most intimate pleasure a man can have is fucking her sister and Cummings on her pussy, no words to describe those incidents

The sweety fluid from sisters pussy is like nectar of immortal pleasure

Having classical sex is the best intimate position for brother sister incest

Nussin siskon pillua paljaalla takaapäin.