All Comments on 'That 69s Show Ch. 01'

As always, I'm happy to see a new story by you.

This was an interesting parody in the vein of the one you did for "Boy Meets World". I wished you could have had a rivalry for the new and improved Eric between Donna and Midge. Or had Jackie dump Kelso since Eric was now the Alpha Male of the group. Red could finally be proud of his son (though secretly envious of the fact that he's doing a woman hotter than Kitty). Bob catching Eric could have been a nice cuckold scene as well.

I'm sure you had a reason for repeating "larger than average breasts" (although I'm not sure what it was). Unfortunately, I think the repetition took away a bit from the story (I found it distracting and a tad annoying after awhile).

Hope you're not done with "Alexandra Flatly" (LOVED where that story was going) and look forward to your next posting.

Adrian Burns

Her breasts are larger than average? You don't say....

good story. please be aware of using the same descriptive words over and over.

Yes. I know. The LTAB repetition was an experiment that apparently did not result in the way I had hoped. I thought it would be funny. It seems to have just pissed people off. Or made them think I had a limited vocabulary.

Probably won't happen again. I do own a Thesaurus, of course, but there are only so many words and phrases in the English language that capture the magnificent appearance of well endowed ladies. More than willing to accept suggestions, or, I suppose, I could use French, German, Japanese or other languages.

Thanks for the input, please read my other stories and check out some of my other attempts at descriptive passages. And let me know!

DDDave

I like this, it is a smart way you doing it!