Second Chance Ch. 04

Ahhh

I don't get it...she cheated on him in college..
If my girl friend done that to me ..it will b freezing cold day in hell before I take her back. Once a cheater always a cheater...given the chance will cheat again.

Light at the end

Great story, great telling. I was upset when Tim would actually believe Jake's lie- my first thought was that he'd planted a spy cam somewhere. Believing the slimeball instead of the trusted friend or loved one is the whole basis for soap opera plots. Anyhow, I don't know if I buy his reason for believing him, but it all worked out in the end. Oh, ignore the bitter anons who once again chime in, "but she cheated in college! She's a cheater! Burn her!". All these poor anons and their hurt feelings.

Cried at all the right moments

You are a prolific story teller. Please continue. Everything

Damn......

About the sixth time through on this story. Still gets me every time. As good as you can get. Dead on perfect.

Nice Story

Thanks for this story, its better each time I read it. Interestingly, something like this happened to me when I was in high school. The other guy got the girl and was her first lover. We did remain friends for our college years, but alas that is all. Often, I wonder what would have happened if I had won the fight for her.
Thanks again for a nice story.

Yep, A Nice Story

Had to read it twice to realize the first part fit with the ending of the story and how Daryl fit into it.

I just can't help but wonder

about people whose sole reason to add a comment is to say they hated the story. I mean, time is valuable, so why spend it reading a story that you think is so terrible? Then take the extra time to add a comment confirming to the rest of the world, that you are indeed a jerk. If I don't like a story, I stop reading it, and move on.
In this case, I almost stopped after the first chapter because I was annoyed at how self-centered Tim was, with his "woe is me, I shouldn't have trusted her" attitude. Considering what they went through, didn't Donna deserve the benefit of the doubt - to hear her side of the story? Then in this chapter, Tim gets set up and what happens? He does the same thing and thinks Donna is lying. One would think Tim would learn NOT to jump to conclusions, but no, he repeats the same mistake he made. Tim's got his emotional buttons in completely the wrong order if he believes someone he hates (Jake) over someone he loves (Donna). While I like happy endings, I can't help but wonder if in the future, Tim will do the same thing again and hurt Donna with his mistrust. Maybe he should see a psychiatrist to learn why he continues to mistrust Donna, since he says "what's in the past, is in the past" but his actions clearly don't reflect his statements. BTW, I loved this story!
luv2read2

Love your writing.

Petes appearance caught me off guard I gotta say but no matter. Loved the story. Was always wondering why the story began with Daryl. But I loved that twist. Showed how much pete cared. And as always i have to say. Good fucking story.

I liked the story.

I am all for getting back together with a cheating cunt in the right circumstances.

It is hard to describe what those right circumstances are though. It is completely situation specific.

The way you wrote the characters, this was definitely a good one given how much she has grown mentally and morally.

2 things, it did not need his fuck up. And given the situation that she started 5 years earlier, she would have realized the importance of talking about what happened and why. In those actions, it is if she learned nothing from the past.

Far better revenge against the absolute douchebag Jake, would have been HIM to be the one to punish him, not Pete. That lacked any satisfaction at all.

Also, I truly think a third of the story could have been cut out and it would not have lost a bit in the edit. Sometimes less is more.

CHEAT !

She was unfaithful TWICE at college , then Tim found out . ( how many more times if he hadn't ? ) She said she knew Tim would walk away when she told him .Either way , Tim find out or tell him , if she was sorry WHY did she commence a relationship with the arsehole ? And , it seems , if arsehole had have treated her decent , she WOULD HAVE STILL BEEN WITH HIM !

Plots that hinge on miscommunication or lack of communication are tedious and boring.

Miscommunication is probably one of the most frequent and serious reasons for relationships to fail. So to write a story based on this common issue is, common, boring, and uninteresting. Why should it be, it happens every day. Oh, I should have said this, or that, or should not have, or meant to, or meant it to come out differently, or you never told me, or you told me this two years ago, and how you are telling me something different today, etc.

She just starts fucking Jake, but doesn't know why, then, but now, years later, she kind of does, and feels terrible about it, but she went on fucking Jake, for months, becoming his slut, but she never really like it, but she didn't leave Jake until he essentially tried to gang rape her. Its all just too silly, shallow, senseless, and tiring. Thank you for ending it.

Well done

Great story very well told.

Felt way too long-winded, a bit of miscommunication is blown over way too many pages, not to mention it's a cheap plot device I really dislike, it could have been condensed into half the length without losing much if anything.

Perhaps with a shorter length, cutting out much of verbal waffling about, the protagonist would have been more likable rather than coming across as insecure and pathetic.

Though I'm a bit biased, since I'm of the opinion that he shouldn't ever have gotten back with Donna and married her, and should have moved on instead of holding on to the past.

It's a small thing, but the character reveal of Pete being a 300 pound muscular black guy was pretty funny, and a nice way to play with the readers' perceptions.

have to chuckle

In numerous stories wife does not tell husband a lover from the past has been in contact with her. Reason she gives is she is afraid husband will not understand or will be upset.
So she hides that info
Husband finds out-tests wife-she lies
The failure to trust is hers.
Her excuses hollow
Donna says she cannot understand why he thinks she cheated.
She ignores her deception caused that mistrust
Despite the fact she did not cheat-she repeatedly lied. Given her past history whether he could ever trust her again is highly doubtful.
While I enjoy your writing, this story does not work. She runs around5 on him because she is insecure-REALLY
The she calls him stupid because he is insecure.
If this story was reality the marriage has no chane of survival. Your ending is not justified given the characters you developed

Facebook profile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com

Details on profile are factual and true
Married serial cheating wife lost her college instructor position in Helena Montana because of those facts. College administrator was given that info and more-sex photo
She harassed and coerced younger married male student.
Then after affair ended admitted to intentionally destroying his life and reputation.
As his friend I am hoping readers will FRIEND profile and assist karma
Black widow and purple rose tattoos-breast implants
She has stated proudly the SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT DESTRUCTION SHE CAUSES IN OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES
MARRIAGES, REPUTATIONS, FAMILIES, CAREERS DESTROYED WHILE SHE SMILES AND ENJOYS LIFE.
LAST HEARD SHE WAS WORKING IN MONTANA SECRETARY OF STATE'S OFFICE

Ugh...

Donna stupid..

Shouldn't reproduce...
ugh.....

Drama

To much friggin drama. Get the DIVORCE Tim.

Some stupid shit but ok

Communication communication communication, a must in marriage.

Dammit!

Motherfucker is one word.

Once a cheater...

always a cheater? Also true of men?

Good reading

I don't care about the details of a fictional story. If the story holds my interest and reads well what more can you ask. This is entertainment and it kept my attention then I am happy. Keep writing

Great Story

Well developed story that came back to the beginning for a second chance! I gave it five stars and it was well worth it. For the critics that can't understand emotions and failings of young people, get a life!

Thanks for a very good story,

Bubba