homeSci-Fi & FantasyThrough the Mists of TimePublic Comments

All Comments  for

Through the Mists of Time

byericviking69©
All
Comments (1)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by idelle03/31/06

Some things will snap you right out of a story...

I was leery when I saw your fic was in second-person, but you handled it reasonably well... the sentences are a little short, a little jarring, but it's not bad.

But as soon as I hit the word "ass," I was thrown right out of the story. I couldn't finish it. Your story seems interesting, but even one word that is so out-of-sync with the rest can ruin it for a reader.

It was quite good up till then, though.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to Through the Mists of Time  or
More submissions by ericviking69.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

You may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel