All Comments on 'My Little Harem Ch. 05'

Im just saying. Solid story, been following it since I read one of the previous installments. If I wasn't embarrassed to, I would recommend it to people lol. But no harem is complete without the women having kids.

That he has a Harem and he likes to Humiliate Husbands. How about a few of the Married women having his Children. He could also make it hard on Hubby to explain how his "cute" black,asian,indian,etc Wife is having Liter Babies.

This was fucking awesome! It's like a cross between a Bond movie, a Bourne movie and a MC story.

And they lived Happily Ever After! Loved it.

I'm surprised so few have favorited this story and commented!? This man only hopes to find a serum for my own Harem and whatever else comes to mind! My right hand was very busy during the 3 times I read all 5 chapters! Your imagination makes you a very lucky S.O.B.! Thanks very much!!

klosetp3rv,

Colleen begged him to impregnate her. The next Ch. could be 17 yrs in the future w/ a new generation of telepaths. Something to think about.

I like the storue read it fully twiceand had Fun . Should take it to a porn director and get it turned into a movie wink

I like how concise and nice the ending was. Strangely often I seem to see MC stories where the authors have this bizarre tendency to sabotage their entire story, but just ending it with a sweet harem and awesome super-powers is a much more enjoyable way. Leaves a good taste in the mouth.

However you can massively improve your writing style, google "show don't tell" and read up on how to make a story much more personal. Currently you're telling us what happens, but need to also show it to us.

Also another weak point in this is that the opposition is way to weak, he doesn't struggle enough. You engage much more with a main character facing both victories and defeats.

Similarly the female characters are hot on occasion, but lack sufficient character to make me care about them. I understand the side characters are just hot bodies, but is there no one he cares about? even as a prized possession? And if so why? What makes her different? or if he doesn't care about anyone for more than a hot body then why? Right now it's just the original 5, for the reason that they were first, and even they have no minds or personalities.

Enjoyed the story, would have liked it to have more detail,

So many opportunities missed in this story. You could have made this story a legend but you got to lazy and rushed though it.

agree with hardheadd1 - this had so much potential *sigh*

I loved this story. It's well written and captivating!

Yep, I agree with the previous comments. Great storyline but bloody hell it could have been brilliant like hardheadd1 pointed out...⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

What happened? It looks like you started without any idea of the story then reacted at the end of each part. The end chapter you might just have said to the nearest 5 year old “How do I finish this?” . Seriously, put more effort in and plan the story.

MC is an asshole!!! He purposely takes MARRIED women away, and males the innocent husbands into CUCKS!!! WTF!!!