All Comments on 'My Born Again Christian Wife!'

But more editing needed.

Find and Replace is not your friend.

- Replacements of 'she/he/her' were not well done.

- The word fantastic mid-sentence need not be capitalised, even for emphasis.

- Champagne / paign. You decide but be consistent. USA has gone for "paign".

- Some word-choices were bad putting "Ed next two us".

- You're writing from Where? and For Where? Australia, England, USA? Word choices give conflicting clues. You're probably writing for USA audience, having a " strict southern batiste preacher". a phrase you thought they'd relate to . Unfortunately Batistes do not preach, they are in fact .... "cotton or linen fabric".

- So possibly you're using VRS, which is a pity.

This is your first foray, i see, and for the novice, this is pretty Good Stuff. Others may compliment or condemn your plot-line, characterisation, plot development, and you can be the Church people will weigh in too, but from me . . . .

Cheers, and Thanks,

Kilroy.

and getting her drunk then raping her isnt my idea of fun especially making yourself a cuck at the same time

fucking criminal

Nice guy. Previuos commenter had it right What an asshole.

Why did she marry you? The whole "Do not be unequally yoked" comes to mind. Also, as the others posters explained: How is raping your wife erotic?

She should cut off your balls and feed them to you for breakfast.

The whole basis of the story was almost as bad as the spelling and grammar. Not only that, but I'm sure the wife, knowing, and believeing in, her Bible, will have a huge guilt trip to face: "Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge."

Quoting the Bible and lecturing about doing wrong.....yet you read the story! Damn hypocrites!

My quote was to point out what kind of mental suffering the wronged wife would have to endure as a result of the actions of her asshole of a husband. It wasn't any kind of judgement call on morals because I've never regarded the bible as anything more than a work fictional history.

I disliked the story because it offended my personal moral outlook - which is not based on any kind of religion.

like a new johndoenut. what a cunt.

what a waste of ink.

You can see every variant of moral outrage in here. From the Holy Rollers to the not quite at church-ers. and they're ALL outraged.

Next time. make her an Islamic, (Calling Salman Rushdie) or a pregnant unmarried druggie ethnic that you rescue somehow and then have your evil wicked way with.

Ahh Writers, You're a thick-skinned breed,

Cheers

Kilroy.

You're an idiot. What is it to you what others think? After the first few paragraphs, I stopped reading, knowing it was a waste of my time. And from reading the comments I was right. You, on the other hand, seem to have a problem. Get help.

What a stupid moronic story. The grammar is horriable.

I throughly enjoyed the read.

The concept isn't bad but please spell check and read the story aloud before submitting something. Mistakes happen to us all so a few typos and the like are inevitable but there were too many to ignore. Also, I could tell the parts were the author started to get excited because everything got sloppier and more rushed.

Don't get discouraged, just take your time next time.

OK, insulted Christians, churchgoers, "baptistes" (sic), the readers - with the lack of spelling and grammar basics (never mind the claimed college education, sigh) - insulted his wife, tried to alcohol-poison her, essentially raped her (in my state, inebriation is prima facie for lack of ability to make an informed consent to sex), and on, and on.

There is no way Ed would have just settled for a blow job, he would have fucked her as well, then used the pics from the camera to force her to have more sex the next day, or expose her to her church as the slut she so obviously is.

Nice story, but do read through before you submit. Taking out the obvious mistakes makes it much more pleasurable for your readers.

too many typos and other mistakes for a better score. unlike some of the others i think a crash course in aggressive sex is just the ticket to warm up this iceberg of a wife of his. it's right there under her surface. what she really wants. in vino veritas, guys. he sees it and takes a chance. good for him. now she might be overcome with guilt and divorce him, or some other bad consequence, for his getting her drunk and letting loose her back-burner, simmering sexuality, or he might find himself with an awakened sex kitten on his hands, and might be in for some delightful sex. it's a chance i'm glad he's willing to take. or some middle-ground response. probably the most likely. anyway, fertile ground for you to continue with this. but please re-read your work before submitting it.

A ;Bobbit' while he slept.

A really considerate husband! Fine example of manhood. Ugh!

Wasn't she lucky to end up with you? 1*

Bad on grammar. Bad on review (several times the author delivered the exact opposite message from that which was obviously intended!) Both Hubby and Sweetie married max-badly! Evil plan to get a knob job (take ten bucks down to hooker row!) Even more evil possibility of destroying his spouse's life as well as his own marriage for what? Getting off in a little different way? GMAFB!!! MAYBE this will turn her into a sexy kitten. More likely...she will NEVER forgive Hubby, or trust him again...but her beliefs will not let her divorce him, so she will live in misery, as will he until he finally divorces her!

I admire the commenter who bailed early. Great choice! I've just got to see the whole train wreck!

Earned one of my rare 1* ratings!

Please get an editor. I didn't make it throughthe story, regardless of its interesting premise.

I liked it.

Teach her to get all christian :)

Someone who's never tasted booze won't know the difference between sparkling whatever and hootch! Really!

sounded like it was a big win win for him and his budy . so lets have the next part with her getting gang banged and alot of pics taken of it. Yummm.

Good effort, preview it then get some editing...great one!!!

Don't give up your day job! Functionall

illiterate without a clue of how to construct

a story

I started reading; thinking this is a HOT story about woman who has a similar background to my wife! But, as I read along, I found myself questioning the likelihood of this actually happening so much that I was distracted. I think perhaps the "seduction", though very erotic, conceptually, was actually, "too much, too fast." And, some of the things, like not knowing she was drinking alcohol, were just too much to believe. Still, I think you're on to something that could be quite entertaining and sexy, if you keep working it! Keep posting the revisions, so we can see it evolve!

Rape pure and simple. At least put this trash in non-consent/reluctance where it belongs.

She changed the labels again.

too much poor grammar to bother with.... get someone who can read and write, and try again.

My wife was a born again Christian until I made her to start sucking and fucking all my friends and now she does swinger orgies and has become a drunk as that is how she loves to have no barriers

"She didn't seem to know what was going on..." Really? So your fantasy is to violate your wife (!!! - or someone at least) without her consent through subterfuge and incapacitating drugs, and then conceal it from her.

My Muslim wife and I eat pork chops and.ham sandwiches. Then she gets drunk and.pulls trains on all my Infidel buddies, while our Iman videos for us.

My comment is similar to others--too many grammatical mistakes and/or misspelled words which prove to be be too distracting. I married someone quite similar to the fictional wife with the hope that we would both grow sexually; however, that did not happen so we divorced. This work of fiction is one that I fantasized about later in my life; thus, you do do get three stars from me.

Good story. The first part about the wife being prim and proper and a heavy church goer sounds just like my wife. My fantasy is for somehow to get her fucked by a well hung black stud. I know if she somehow would get a large black cock the slut that is hidden deep within her would come out and start enjoying sex. That is what I dream of, being married to a slut whore that fucks a lot of big black cocks while I video her sucking and fucking. Anybody know how I can convince her to do it?

This has been my one and only fantasy for our 32 years of marriage, I would do almost anything for this to happen.

batiste????????

More SBC cock crazy women...

The MC knew what her sexual values and limits were before he married her. He couldn't figure out how to bring her out of her sexual shell so he and his friend get her drunk and rapes her. Yuck.