All Comments on 'Setting Moon Ch. 04'

by Bloodwoman

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  • 6 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Too much happening too fast

This was intriguing at he beginning but it's confusing now. She was obsessed with looking for her son. Now he's hardly mentioned. Too many things going on too fast without any explanation of the characters. This story has promised, but you need to slow down and develop the characters more.Keep at it,this has promise.Good luck with your future writings.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
I'm Sooooo Confused!

Very, very confusing.... it starts with one thing, moves onto another doesn't really explain anything, just doesn't flow at all....

AhzureDragonAhzureDragonover 11 years ago
Slow down

You have peoples interest, but you need to expand everything and slow the pace down. Its like you took 30 chapters and compressed them into 4... well that may be over board but you get the idea. Take a little more time to expand events and make sure their is enough plot to each of the action sequences to explain the story. So far we have a lot of action and little plot. And careful with your grammar and sentence structure. If you are self editing or not editing at all try reading your story backwards sentence by sentence it will allow you to not auto fill/correct by taking everything out of contexts. You should be able to find 95% of your errors that way and it will show you how the story really flows.

Gemini_KnightGemini_Knightover 11 years ago
Good but needs WORK

The overall story is very good and nice take on the supernatural, but it is very raw and could do with some polishing. As stated earlier expand on your ideas more before moving on to another one. Another thing is an editor would help; however if you can find an editor, then what I would suggest is that you take a break after you finish a chapter, (at least a couple hours to a couple days) come back with fresh eyes and reread the chapter, (exactly what's written and not what's suppose to be written). If you find it confusing then more than likely we will to. One last thing, start a new paragraph whenever you change speakers, it may help with some of the confusion.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Very good

You fasinate with each new one, I always look foward to see where it will go next.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
WTF !!!

THIS IS GOING WAY TOO FAST, AND MAKING ME LOSE INTEREST JUST AS FAST.

Anonymous
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