Collared Ch. 01

Sounds like there's a sequel somewhere.....

I like smart and sassy gals.

Hot guys with a sense of humor are good too. I look forward to your next chapter.
Yves

nice start

i would really like to see some more

Really great start!

Ok, I'm putting this story in my fav's. You've done a great job and caught my interest. I hope for more soon. :)

Great Start

I like the beginning so far !!

I love this . . .

I am most definately looking forward to the next chapter. Do not make me wait too long . .

How exciting

I love your characters and the story has a great start looking forward to the next chapter.

nice

I'm loveing it so far. Keep it up.

I want more!!!

I love it! Please continue the story soon :)

Hottt!!!!!!

I'm soooo loving this!!!!!! More please!!!

LUV IT!!

Awesome start. You've got me totally intrigued! Please continue!

love it b/c it's sad that women who aren't thin are made to feel like they can't be sexy. Declan seems really charming, funny, hot...hope he doesn't break her heart.

More please!

I'm really interested in these characters. Please keep writing!

non human.. a mistake?

either your story was miss-posted to non human or you have not got into it yet??

Love it

Normally, I don't like head hopping, but you seem to have a knack for it. I can't wait to find out what Declan is!

Great start. Looking forward to more...

Great opening--more please!

I like it a lot. Your characters are intriguing and believable and you left me eager for more. It was a little shorter than I'm used to, but awesome read. Thanks for posting.

Great Start

You have my interest. I am definitely be looking forward to more of this story.

Can't wait for part 2

Hi I think for your first attempt this was really good. Looking forward to part 2

I love it!!! Can't wait for part 2!

yes.....yes....yes....

Part two please ;)

; )

awesome fantastic start definately looking forward to chapter 2

intriguing very intriguing

You have my interest. I am definitely be looking forward to more of this story. can't wait for part 2 hope it's coming soon

attention getter

Great leading chapter, what a good way to leave us wanting more! Kudos....looking forward the more chapters.

Classic fantasy

Can't say I have not had fantasies like this, but I was 16 and lonely or had a crush at the time...

As a critique on storycrafting....I don't have much to go on for what is special about Autumn and why Declan is pursuing so hotly. It read pretty much like Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey: the female is a blank slate anyone could put themselves in the place of, and there is no real reason given why the guy goes ga-ga for her other than her charming shy awkwardness (read: any teenage girl),who only wants a guy to make her feel so special when she's in reality...shy and unknown.

Meanwhile, the boy just wants sex, or the man sees prey he can control in a younger girl willing to give over personal power immediately.

Don't think I can read this. It is definitely not written for anyone looking for interesting characters and story with the erotic. It is just a wet dream escapist fantasy like what's already flooded the market.

A+

Well written and entertaining intro can't wait to read what's next

Damn

Yes I can see this being really really good, give me more please
Declan sounds like my kind of guy

Fantastic start!

Please keep writing! This story is getting hot in here! (Please take off ALL their clothes)!

Please ignore anonymous.

This is obviously an introduction. One of the many reasons its so intriguing is because it will be interesting to see just what is so special about these characters. Especially since its in the nonhuman section. The the person below this comment that critiqued so negatively needs to just shove it. :) I can't wait to read more!!!!

Great but...

It's a great start; but before you submit maybe one of you - your editor or yourself- can read over it to catch some last minute corrections? There wasn't much but just enough to have someone lose a little focus from the story. All in all its a promising start about a really great lead girl character.

Way to go.....

...on your first sub here. This was very attention grabbing from the first sentence.

Declan seems to be totally hot, with a side of dark and mysterious added for effect!

But I have to say I think I'm gonna like Autumn ALOT! Im not a big girl myself, (twiggy comes to mind.....) however I have always had an affinity for bigger boned girls in my romance-esque stories; and I definitley don't like girls 'in that way.' She seems to be full of "sugar and SPICE" all the nice things we like to see in characters here on Lit.

Would like to know in the next chapter exactly what Declan is......?

Can't wait.
5 stars

Nicci

Love It!

First sub? No way! This is pretty amazing! Can't wait to read more about Autumn. She's someone I'd love to be friends with.

Interesting start. Can't wait to see where this goes.

thanks

I very much enjoyed this. I hope you plan to continue writing for us.

Great start....

Love the characters and hope you continue. Way to go on first sub.

interesting....

For a first submission this is great. It an attention grabber right from the beginning, and I can't wait to read more...

An interesting start.

You grabbed my attention and I definitely would like to read more. I'd like some more background info on our protagonists too, but I assume you're getting to that. Looking forward to ch 2.

great start

I really hope you continue this. It's off to a great start.

awesome

i love where its headed. I think its great you have a full figured woman in here and not just a size 2 pretty little thing. i love his attraction towards her, and i love how shes got a shy/outgoing side. Please continue, I'd love to read more :3

Nice Job

What a great start. I hope there is another post real soon.

You asked for comments

5 stars. Love bbw stories and non human ones also. This was well done. Lets see ch two please and ty

More please!!!!

I cannot wait for ch2 and 3 and 4 and how many more you plan. Excellent really wonderful!

Really good start, can't wait to read the next chapter!

Good start!!!! Can't wait to read more. Please continue this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looking forward...

Looking forward to more. A very yummy start.

Great start!

Keep at it! Loved this first part! Personally I like longer chapters tho. :) but that's just because I'm greedy and want more. ;)

love it

finally some more stories of full figure womenXD keep going

um...

its a good start, but i agree with anonomyus. theres no real charecter building. you dont tell us much about them at all

I think you did a good job developing Autumn, but Declan is still rather mysterious. Given the genre that may be deliberate on your part. If so, well done. If not... work on him a little more in Ch02. ^^

Seriously, great start! You've got me interested in both characters, and your grammar is good so I don't get a headache trying to read this.

In short, bravo! I look forward to Ch02! :)

Definitely ready for more! :)

Loved the story and I can't wait to read the next chapter!