All Comments on 'Collared Ch. 01'

by KadenceSnow

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  • 77 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago

Sounds like there's a sequel somewhere.....

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
I like smart and sassy gals.

Hot guys with a sense of humor are good too. I look forward to your next chapter.

Yves

sadisticmpsadisticmpover 11 years ago
nice start

i would really like to see some more

lori1969lori1969over 11 years ago
Really great start!

Ok, I'm putting this story in my fav's. You've done a great job and caught my interest. I hope for more soon. :)

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Great Start

I like the beginning so far !!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
I love this . . .

I am most definately looking forward to the next chapter. Do not make me wait too long . .

trubblemakurtrubblemakurover 11 years ago
How exciting

I love your characters and the story has a great start looking forward to the next chapter.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
nice

I'm loveing it so far. Keep it up.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
I want more!!!

I love it! Please continue the story soon :)

NikkiAKLNikkiAKLover 11 years ago
Hottt!!!!!!

I'm soooo loving this!!!!!! More please!!!

kissntell13kissntell13over 11 years ago
LUV IT!!

Awesome start. You've got me totally intrigued! Please continue!

canndcanndover 11 years ago

love it b/c it's sad that women who aren't thin are made to feel like they can't be sexy. Declan seems really charming, funny, hot...hope he doesn't break her heart.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
More please!

I'm really interested in these characters. Please keep writing!

rissa200204rissa200204over 11 years ago
non human.. a mistake?

either your story was miss-posted to non human or you have not got into it yet??

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Love it

Normally, I don't like head hopping, but you seem to have a knack for it. I can't wait to find out what Declan is!

obabyobabyover 11 years ago

Great start. Looking forward to more...

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Great opening--more please!

I like it a lot. Your characters are intriguing and believable and you left me eager for more. It was a little shorter than I'm used to, but awesome read. Thanks for posting.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Great Start

You have my interest. I am definitely be looking forward to more of this story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Can't wait for part 2

Hi I think for your first attempt this was really good. Looking forward to part 2

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago

I love it!!! Can't wait for part 2!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
yes.....yes....yes....

Part two please ;)

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
; )

awesome fantastic start definately looking forward to chapter 2

flowergurl17flowergurl17over 11 years ago
intriguing very intriguing

You have my interest. I am definitely be looking forward to more of this story. can't wait for part 2 hope it's coming soon

rg27612rg27612over 11 years ago
attention getter

Great leading chapter, what a good way to leave us wanting more! Kudos....looking forward the more chapters.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Classic fantasy

Can't say I have not had fantasies like this, but I was 16 and lonely or had a crush at the time...

As a critique on storycrafting....I don't have much to go on for what is special about Autumn and why Declan is pursuing so hotly. It read pretty much like Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey: the female is a blank slate anyone could put themselves in the place of, and there is no real reason given why the guy goes ga-ga for her other than her charming shy awkwardness (read: any teenage girl),who only wants a guy to make her feel so special when she's in reality...shy and unknown.

Meanwhile, the boy just wants sex, or the man sees prey he can control in a younger girl willing to give over personal power immediately.

Don't think I can read this. It is definitely not written for anyone looking for interesting characters and story with the erotic. It is just a wet dream escapist fantasy like what's already flooded the market.

TheBlueEyedBlondeTheBlueEyedBlondeover 11 years ago
A+

Well written and entertaining intro can't wait to read what's next

hisangelbeautyhisangelbeautyover 11 years ago
Damn

Yes I can see this being really really good, give me more please

Declan sounds like my kind of guy

EuphoriaSlam69EuphoriaSlam69over 11 years ago
Fantastic start!

Please keep writing! This story is getting hot in here! (Please take off ALL their clothes)!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Please ignore anonymous.

This is obviously an introduction. One of the many reasons its so intriguing is because it will be interesting to see just what is so special about these characters. Especially since its in the nonhuman section. The the person below this comment that critiqued so negatively needs to just shove it. :) I can't wait to read more!!!!

MagikalmonkeeMagikalmonkeeover 11 years ago
Great but...

It's a great start; but before you submit maybe one of you - your editor or yourself- can read over it to catch some last minute corrections? There wasn't much but just enough to have someone lose a little focus from the story. All in all its a promising start about a really great lead girl character.

KiwiKingKiwiKingover 11 years ago
Way to go.....

...on your first sub here. This was very attention grabbing from the first sentence.

Declan seems to be totally hot, with a side of dark and mysterious added for effect!

But I have to say I think I'm gonna like Autumn ALOT! Im not a big girl myself, (twiggy comes to mind.....) however I have always had an affinity for bigger boned girls in my romance-esque stories; and I definitley don't like girls 'in that way.' She seems to be full of "sugar and SPICE" all the nice things we like to see in characters here on Lit.

Would like to know in the next chapter exactly what Declan is......?

Can't wait.

5 stars

Nicci

blackazian13blackazian13over 11 years ago
Love It!

First sub? No way! This is pretty amazing! Can't wait to read more about Autumn. She's someone I'd love to be friends with.

KittybalooKittybalooover 11 years ago

Interesting start. Can't wait to see where this goes.

baikalisanbaikalisanover 11 years ago
thanks

I very much enjoyed this. I hope you plan to continue writing for us.

whenwilliwhenwilliover 11 years ago
Great start....

Love the characters and hope you continue. Way to go on first sub.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
interesting....

For a first submission this is great. It an attention grabber right from the beginning, and I can't wait to read more...

cantfightfatecantfightfateover 11 years ago
An interesting start.

You grabbed my attention and I definitely would like to read more. I'd like some more background info on our protagonists too, but I assume you're getting to that. Looking forward to ch 2.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
great start

I really hope you continue this. It's off to a great start.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
awesome

i love where its headed. I think its great you have a full figured woman in here and not just a size 2 pretty little thing. i love his attraction towards her, and i love how shes got a shy/outgoing side. Please continue, I'd love to read more :3

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Nice Job

What a great start. I hope there is another post real soon.

jW0WjW0Wover 11 years ago
You asked for comments

5 stars. Love bbw stories and non human ones also. This was well done. Lets see ch two please and ty

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
More please!!!!

I cannot wait for ch2 and 3 and 4 and how many more you plan. Excellent really wonderful!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago

Really good start, can't wait to read the next chapter!

oneboobeeoneboobeeover 11 years ago

Good start!!!! Can't wait to read more. Please continue this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Butterflies1974Butterflies1974over 11 years ago
Looking forward...

Looking forward to more. A very yummy start.

Proppen81Proppen81over 11 years ago
Great start!

Keep at it! Loved this first part! Personally I like longer chapters tho. :) but that's just because I'm greedy and want more. ;)

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
love it

finally some more stories of full figure womenXD keep going

sterlingersterlingerover 11 years ago
um...

its a good start, but i agree with anonomyus. theres no real charecter building. you dont tell us much about them at all

Archangel_MArchangel_Mover 11 years ago

I think you did a good job developing Autumn, but Declan is still rather mysterious. Given the genre that may be deliberate on your part. If so, well done. If not... work on him a little more in Ch02. ^^

Seriously, great start! You've got me interested in both characters, and your grammar is good so I don't get a headache trying to read this.

In short, bravo! I look forward to Ch02! :)

kithara27kithara27over 11 years ago
Definitely ready for more! :)

Loved the story and I can't wait to read the next chapter!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
everyone relax

everyone needs to chill out on the bad commenting. Its her story so

She can write what ever she wants. And how she writes it.

Maybe that the reason why she hasent put another one on.

IF YOU GOT NOTHING NICE TO SAY KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.!!!!!

keep going girl. Its good

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago

Excellent start ro a story. I can't wait to read more. Please do not. Listen to the negative. People they arre jealous of you talent. :)

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Love It

hey i'm spending my night wishing you would ever finish chapter two .. this is the kind of story i'm searching for .. keep going

GiftofondineGiftofondineover 11 years ago
terrific!

Thanks for an enjoyable story and please, keep writing! I'm just getting started too and I find it can be hard to know how to develop characters, plot, and the like... but just keep trying... you got the goods!

LookinSouthLookinSouthover 11 years ago
Good start!

Enjoyed it enough to want to read your next chapter, hopefully soon. Good work, especially for a first submission. I liked the point of view changes. Please continue.

countrygirlflacountrygirlflaover 11 years ago
Good start

Good start,hoping there will be more.Noticed that it has been almost 2 months since this was posted,please dont be one that starts and then stops...too many on here already,,,good luck.

heyyu246heyyu246about 11 years ago

Really good! I will however say that its surprising to read 'she's far from being a virgin', and yet she's so incredibly shy...strange.

Speedy1106Speedy1106about 11 years ago
mmmm

Just found this story today and enjoyed it. Bbbbuuuutttt not going to put it on my favourite list cause its been a few months since you put just this 1 chapter on. I get the feeling we will be waiting a few more months till you put the next chapter on.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Fucking LOVE how YOU get to pick the comments!

How many people have told you your story sucks shit?!

Try adding them ALL...take the criticism! And probably why there hasn't been a chapter two to follow!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
Waiting for Next Chapter!

Great beginning to your story! Can't wait to read the rest. Please finish it :)

JuicyPeach72272JuicyPeach72272almost 11 years ago
Very Good .....

Great start, can't wait to read more. Love your writing style and descriptions of characters and their reactions :-)

Blessed Be,

Peach

barbette_sgbarbette_sgalmost 11 years ago

Looking forward to the rest...hope you won't keep us waiting too long :)

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Awesome, and...

You should make him dominating

but sweet, and gentleman like.

maybe put a line in there like,

"mine" he says

"yours," i breathe

Just a thought

I love the story , cant wait till the next

ashleypr156ashleypr156over 10 years ago
More please!

That was a pretty good chapter! Please update!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
FINISH and.....Hurry Up

COME ON FINISH GREAT START BUT HURRY UP YOU TAKE TO LONG

nuerotiklyinclinednuerotiklyinclinedover 10 years ago

You should finish this story. It has a good plot, funny as well intriguing characters and some hot kissy-face. Don't leave us haning

amja7578amja7578over 10 years ago

Loving your story...please write some more!!!!

obabyobabyalmost 10 years ago
Please, come back...

and pick up the story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
PLEASE FINISH T_T

Oh my goodness, it was getting good. I really want to know where their relationship is going. Sometimes I wish original authors would give their story up to another writer who is just as good to finish the stories. Please read your comments to see that there are people dying to find out what happens next.

tuty0201tuty0201over 9 years ago

Another unfinished story.... sad!! Please finish it !!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Please finish

please finish the story its a good , really good..... don't let a good story go to waste

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

I am close to tears at seeing this story unfinished. Please.... finish it for the sake of us all.

tuty0201tuty0201over 9 years ago

Still waiting for next chapter. ..................

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
Great story, what happens next?

Autumn is hot!

missexotic88missexotic88over 7 years ago
MORE!!!!

Please, please, please finish your story

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Tease

Well that was a good start to bad your a quitter

StrixalucoStrixalucoover 1 year ago

Wish you had written the rest of the chapters as well, this started out good.

Anonymous
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