All Comments on 'Intimations of Mortality'

What is that quote? 'All beauty is fleeting...' 5ed

And beautifully written! I'm not sure I think you even need to mention that this is Narcissus, but that's really nitpicking on my part. You've painted a vivid picture and woven your way into the narrative so delicately that the wonderful balance of the poem (youth versus age, innocence versus experience) blooms by the end like a flower. One of your best here thus far, imho.

Lovely descriptions of nature. Enjoyed this very much. My only critical comment would be to keep in mind that often with poetry less is more.

mans utmost end. TK U MLJ LV NV

Very good 5, but could do with a little light pruning here and there. You are very good at creating a rhythm, but sometimes could use that rhythm to better effect by eliminating unnecessary words and using that apparent gap to create emphasis. One or two words jar - amidst, beheld. Otherwise, Angeline's comments are on the mark, though in addition I wonder a bit whether the last seven lines are strong enough, or whether you really need 'em. I dunno.

Colonel Jessup, in the movie "A Few Good Men", said, "You can't handle the truth!" Neither could Narcissus...most self-absorbed people can't, you know?