Rio Ravishment

I gave you a five but Rio's actually in Brasil, not Argentina.

Curious...parody?

Suppose this is a parody? If so, it's pretty funny. :)

If it's supposed to be genuinely arousing...well, it's bizarre having the two girls doing nothing but narrating their rape back and forth to each other like two Valley Girl sports broadcasters, "I know, right?"

Otherwise a good idea, though, both stuck in the window on the 4th story overlooking a parade with lots of noise and activity going one. Told a different way, this could be a really hot story. Unfortunately the constant dialogue just makes me wish they'd both shut up.

And yes...definitely research geography and culture a bit if you're going to offer an exotic setting.

Sorry

But this is a ridiculous story.
Starts that way by assuming that Rio is in Argentina and goes down hill from there.
Also if you intend using the proper Brasilian spelling, there is no i in carnaval.

Check your anatomy

The hymen is at the very entrance of the vagina, not deep inside.

Thanks for the feedback. This was just a fun thing I threw together to tease a couple of young ladies I know. Almost posted it in the Humour section.

I will admit I should pay more careful attention to anatomy and geography.

Agreed with the other Anon

This works as pure comedy, but if it's meant to be titillating, it's nothing but failure.

Bizarre and disappointing, such a promising idea and setting (in window, not Argentina/Rio) and could have been really sexy and sadly was not. More like two old men chattering about the weather and those damn kids are being bothersome...not...these men are painfully raping us...and the hymen is not deep in that you bob against...

For me it's a good little story, even if it include some things not totally correct.

I admit i would like to see that story a little longer, or with a part 2 why not

Not very good

Your not very good at putting a story together and you also need to do a bit more fact checking ..

What a waste of time

Truth is these two scumbags, Raul and Ramon are dirtball kidnappers and rapists. Disgusting. -5 stars