All Comments on 'Slave Night'

by K3719er

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  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Needs an Editor

This story had great potential. Unfortunately whatever possible good material here was drowned in bad spelling and grammatical errors. Edit!

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Great story

I loved the story, has a great sense of realism and doesn't rely on extremist weirdness to impress a reader. I didn't really have an issue with the editing although I know some do. My advice, however, is that if your story is going to be carried by the relationship of it's characters then we need to get to know them: not cup or cock size but personality, motivation, concerns, etc.

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