by betweenthesheets
I really didn't see that ending coming, I'm new to commenting so I'll keep it brief (your writing is among the best I've seen on here) i can't believe after all she had been through she died.. was hoping for a happy ending..
What a great journey.
Though I as well as others hoped it could continue, it was a well written journey.
Thank you again for such a vivid imagination and story telling abilities.
Looking forward to many more from you.
I usually only leave comments to encourage new authors to keep trying and keep at it, i've never commented on any ending of any story, this was a punch to the gut man, did not see it coming, ruined the entire series for me.
Man, this ending punched me in the gut, why man, why this ending out of everything else?!
The ending came out of nowhere, just completely blind-sided me. Is there any chance we could convince you to scrap that ending and continue as though it never happened? D: Please?
Your characters were so well done I was rooting for them all the way through. So when it ended with Sarah being shot I was crushed too.
In Mr. basketball I can accept Teagan's death in a car wreck, but somehow this doesn't ring true. Sarah has been so afraid of Mike throughout, certainly she knew what he was capable of that especially after she stole the money from him
If she had wanted to connect with her sister and mother I think she would've done something without leaving Australian some sort of secret contact.
So I agree with the others get that ending changed to happily ever after! :-)
The story was really good but the ending was messed up. They went through all that and u kill her off. It should of ended happily.
I finished all the way up to the last page of the last chapter. I skimmed through once I read the comments at the bottom. The story itself was interesting. I wish mine had gone like that except for the ending. Anyways, there was a lot of this happened and we did this in the story. Which is fine if you're only focusing on the act itself. But this one where they seem to make a connection doesn't seem as deep as what the story is implying. While this is an erotic story site, I think you're missing a lot of emotions that are just as important and erotic. Thoughts. Those could have saved the ending. While tragic as it was, he seemed emotionally unavailable, and maybe some are different but I think for a large majority they would be crushed, and it didn't sound like that. Even the roughest of the rough would cower down and cry like a baby if their loved on died like that. A lot of self hating for letting them go, and/or not being there to do something about it no matter how much they actually couldn't. I also don't think he'd be able to let her go alone. Into the lions den so to speak. But the chaotic emotions would have added greatly to a decent story. The second guessing, the I'm terrified but I have to act strong, I want to break.
Great story but a bad ending, how about an update to show them hiding in FBI protection.
This is not what this site is all about.
That's a shattering ending and you should be ashamed of yourself.
People visit this site for a break from reality - not to be left completely flat after investing so much time on your story.
Shame on you. Either change the ending or delete the entire story.
Honestly the sex was ok. The story kept me going and the end was exactly as I would expect. I like the realism and the surprise. Thanks for this series and keep writing