Why Do I Write Incestuous Erotica?

I owe my son an apology!

When my son and youngest daughter were kids, they were molested by the dirty old man on the corner. Of the two, I always thought my daughter got the worst of it. But after reading this, I can see my son just internalized his pain. He has done many of the distructive things to himself I just hope he can find his peace, like you seem to be able to do. Thanks for the information.
Myhands316

A Case of Real Life Effortlessly Outdoing Art !

I'm not going to castigate you for being honest. But this is a wicked world we live. Reading this as a man & knowing the nature of other men its not a far stretch to say your tendency towards exhibitionism was part & process of your damaging encounters.

I don't have a daughter, but a 18 year old girl going out with a college senior ? That's not a situation of equals sharing time & your date took full advantage yet the precursors of a dicey situation were all there.

Leaving aside the dual horrific situations Mr. Pervy Landlord & the strangler cousin which both are unexscuseable though well recounted, you acknowledge leading on the father-in-law, uncle and the professor.

If you don't want to be bitten by vampires - don't taunt them by swigging tomato juice and then carelessly turning your head and presenting them with the side of your neck. Of course, after the fact, it's crystal clear to me but by then you knew something of the nature of men & still toyed with them with peek-a-boo games.

A smart gazelle doesn't feign a limp in front of a lion pride. Sheer numbers come into play when a attractive woman plays Basic Instinct roulette with a heedless leg cross before unknown demographics. Credit is due no matter what in keeping your head high & hemlines through all of this, regardless.

A lot of women who've gone thru what you have would be completely emotionally stunted and tipping the scales at 300 pounds. You've been in therapy, seem to be honest & expressive as to the why's and wherefores of these experiences.

I don't have a daughter, as said before . If I did , however , this essay would be required reading before her first date in tandem with black belts in jujitsu or krav-maga. Thank you for your honesty . What could any reader laden with a conscience do but wish you the best in processing these emotional/ spiritual mega-fender benders ?

Amazing!

This is an amazing, fascinating recounting of your experiences. There is nothing more I can say.

Thank You

Thank you for sharing your truth! I was bitten by several vampires as well. (I love that analogy!!) And yes, I enjoy your incestous erotica as well as others because of my "bites". Couselling helped after it combined with my combat trauma all came out resulting in a little too much alcohol and an affair or two. Yet, I too am drawn to the fantasy still today. Despite the pain.

Outstanding

Susan, as usual, you have outdone yourself. It takes a huge amount of courage to mount a public platform and tell the world how it is/was. I applaud you on that courage.
There are some on this site, that will see this as a challenge to them, either as predators, or as victims. To the Predators, tell them to fuck off. To the victims, direct them towards help.
Keep up the great writing and story telling.

Fantastic

I was in awe reading your story (making sure I wasn't in it) lol. Now I am all hot and.....

Thought provoking essay.

This is the first of your writings which I have read and so I plan to read more, in order to understand better where it came from. The tone is very, very angry and that is your right, but that angry tone will probably dilute the impact of your message: some readers will tune you out because it is too hot for them to process. No doubt there is satisfaction derived from writing in a wrathful state, as it diffuses the ire. But at the same time, such an essay will become less persuasive I believe.

I really am sympathetic to your point, mind you. In fact, I sometimes weaken my own writing by toning it down---because I am wary of the opinion of me that I will give other people as they read my experience (non-fiction, non-erotica). In that regard, you are braver than I am, but the result is that your message may be lessened.

I am not opposed to anger: I've often been an angry person. But did you write this in order to blow off steam or to sway opinions?

Best wishes.

My Bad. I'm dazed and confused.

I seem to have read one of your writings but then my comment went to a different one, not the one which I had read and not the one which I had intended to critique. Please disregard my irrelevant remarks.

Perhaps I will be able to locate and comment to the appropriate essay.

You are not alone

Plenty of women have been bitten. But we survived. Thank you for sharing your story.

WOW, your clear, vivid honesty is to be admired – it is an INSPIRATION to any abused person…

When I start to read a new author, I like to read their bio and then browse the titles and even muse over a few of their stories first. Susan’s bio, her pic and her story titles captured my attention… Her entry entitled: Who is the Writer, Susan Jill Parker immediately had my attention – I wanted to know more. In fact, it was so captivating, I read it slowly over several days.

To put things in a short perspective: for me I read these for my arousal entertainment pleasure. I have been married for 40+ years and my sex life would receive an “F” grade, lower if such a thing were possible. My wife is a great friend – but is clueless when it comes to sex… In fairness to her, I am responsible for some of our poor “sex scores”, but then this comment section is not about me, but about the luscious Susan Jill and her sensuous writing skills.

The next entry in her story submission list was this one on why she writes about incest… bit by a vampire had my curiosity.

I personally have fantasized about my mom and having sex, so I wanted to know more from a woman’s perspective. I wanted to read from an educated person, who was a great writer. Also, I had never read why anyone chose to write incest stories.

I started reading, excited to learn from a lady, a sophisticated, beautiful lady her “incest why”… And ultimately, like most of us men, our goal is to release our love juices, stroking our man toy with our “hand pussy”. I am in no hurry – the old school, best described by the song: I want a slow hand… not in a heated rush… So I began to read.

The first page was just what I prescribed for my “sexual virus” – erotic, sensual stories that were so real, I was drawn into each scene, numb and unaware to what was going on around me… Again, mission accomplished.

Then things turned ugly – and I went from “flaccidly warm to aroused hot erection” to still hot, but not aroused.

When I read about Susan’s experience on her prom date, her cousin, her uncle, her college professor, the landlord and her father-in-law… it was so real. I felt like I was there watching this tragic abuse of a lady by weak and selfish MEN. I was so very angry and pissed off – I wanted to catch the B _ _ t _rds and torture them by hanging them by their junk for the rest of their lives.

But then I digressed a little… but that digression shows what a powerful writer Susan is. She shared these events in such a way that I was there as I read… oblivious to all my surroundings, people, sounds… And my sexual desire for release was gone… again because of Susan’s ability to communicate and re-create mental pictures of six male hogs abusing a precious kitten.

Here is the capstone to it all – Susan had the courage to share this with us, to bring us to where we experienced her pain and now knew her on a level that only a few of her personal friends might know her. In her stories, I admire her creative writing skills – but here there are sides of being allowed to see, feel and live her pain and then allowed to understand the character depth of our authoress.

She shares honestly that she may have brought some of this on by her behavior – but… but… she never intended for it to go this far. Perhaps she honestly believed that this was going to be like the stories we have all read about the woman and her first sex experience – maybe swapping partners, or anal, or lesbian or public sex or… In those experiences, the decent people always say we will only go as far as you want – if you say stop, enough… we will stop. But not here – the abusers ignored the desire of her heart – S T O P… stop now!

More could be said – but I do not think it is necessary – I was emotionally, intellectually and physically changed and affected by this story.

Susan, thanks for sharing openly, without hesitation. Now as we read, our perspective will be reading as an informed reader… one who knows the authoress and appreciate her sexy sensuality, in spite of these horrifying and horrendous events. What happened was sickening causing us to have justified anger directed at the perpetrators of these abusive situations.

Thanks Susan – you are admired and loved for your character strength and fortitude to overcome… and to share with your fans and your “to be fans” an honest look at your pain.

A couple of closing thoughts – LordSlamdawgg makes some valid points… the smart gazelle does not fake injury and see how close it can get to the lion’s den. Don’t tease the vampires nor get close – than you will not get bit.

I agree, but I think Susan’s point is missed – 1st, she could have left out the “her tantalizing tease part” – but she did not. And her point is valid – spot on… Even though Susan acknowledges her teasing ways – it did not give them the right to do what they did to her.

Continue on Ms Susan. Hold your head high. Write with reality and create mental pics that we can walk through your sensual life as though we were there…

Chuck in central TX…

ClitNinja said it best.

With my limited ability to articulate my thoughts I am not going to try to expound on his masterful ability to express the sentiments of a great many of Susan's admirers. Thank you for expressing this for so many of us.

I understand somewhat I am a guy. When I was a junior in high school I was raped by a girl. She forced me to drink alcohol. Long story short she took my virginity. I can't changed anything now I just know better. I like reading your stories. Very well written.

Why do i write erotica, especially incest stories

When i read the introduction to your story in the opening line i was somewhat confused, however after i read about the sad and painful times you were sexually abused it was understood how you were bitten by vampires, your sexual predators. Your exhibitionist activities in all probability i suspect fed and fueled the sexual desires of these lecherous vampires which however does not excuse their sexual interference with you. Your toughened mental strength enabled you to recover from each respective case of abuse in a fashion over time and continue your flashing subsequent predators and abusers. Few women i suspect would make a similar recovery to you from being so horridly and sexually abused, let alone turn to writing about their experiences erotically especially of the incestuous kind. I do not think you are a disturbed and twisted writer because your general sexual background which includes swinging has given you an enlightened and acute awareness into erotica and the taboo. The incestual sexual abuse you suffered as the victim i believe may have propelled you into writing incestuous mother and son stories, where you as the mother cast yourself as not the victim nor the predator, but more so the teasing controller in a kind of a reversal role to your actual experiences.

You have conceded that until you made a connection to what happened to you in your sordid past you didn't understand why you enjoyed writing erotica, but also why you enjoyed writing mother and son incestuous stories. That enjoyment is possibly derived from you living out your passion from you numerous writings about it without any risk of suffering physical or mental harm. The reasoning you gave for the non disclosure until now of the series of sexual abuse incidents you encountered is understandable. Defense lawyers would have applied the blow torch to your testimony had you made any formal complaint to the police having regard to your self confessed dressing, provocatively talking, flagrantly flashing and/or sexually teasing activities. Not wanting anyone to ruin your sexy game by broadcasting your erotic intentions is indicative of the protection, preservation and stimulation you sought and also seemingly derived from them.
It is probably pre judgmental to draw a correlation between your enforced incestuous experiences and having sex with a son if you had a son. I doubt your conduct in such circumstances would mirror that of your sexual predators. The ramifications you alluded to may not eventuate from consensual loving and tender sex with a son. Further, on the contrary, it is possible your son may be very pleased and glad to have engaged in the experience with you. Where the sex is not consensual and forced the repercussions you cited would be a most probable sequelae. It follows that your wretched cousin Bob deserved to feel the full weight of the law for the despicable crime he inflicted on you. Cousin Bob needless to say got off lightly. Your dear brothers i dare say would have extinguished his lights had you confided in them. Your natural flair, creativity, and imagination enables you to formulate believable, erotic, fascinating and breathtaking stories. And i think you you derive as you deserve to do, a very good sense of satisfaction from writing incestuous mother and son stories in such a spectacular fashion.

It is a credit to your recuperative capacity and intestinal fortitude to be able to put behind you these five sexual abuse episodes and apply your intellect and extraordinary writing talent to write about them, write erotica, and write about incest so insightfully and enthrallingly. I am so pleased you do because i am deriving a great deal of interest and enjoyment from the fictional stories and enlightenment from the actual experiences you so painfully endured.

Thank you for sharing this amazing part of your life.

Interesting

This story sheds light on a lot of aspects of kinks and sexuality. Many may already know about the links between abuse and sexuality, but every individual and personal tale says more than any general discussion can. Well written and thoughtful work here. Thank you.

This deserves a green "E"

I've always been impressed with the artist's ability to do a self-portrait and make it look like they sat for it. In this case, there is no pallet of color used save Roget's and Webster's, and you've done a remarkable job of revealing yourself. At the risk of making light of your revelation (trust me - not my intent), in truth, you stand before us naked, less tempting us to view your lovely nude form than to expose to us your shadowed scars... scars that most of us can never really appreciate lest we've traveled the same path.
To write such a piece, much less to do so under your own name is gutsy to say the least... I salute you!

words totally elude me

To say this is very well written is meaningless because this essay is not about the form in which the words are arrayed: it's about the words and the story behind those words. "Horrific" doesn't begin to describe your cousin and uncle. The other cast of characters are not much better. "Horrific" doesn't begin to describe these crimes against you. After reading this essay and knowing a little about your situation now, I don't know how you manage keeping any sense of humor or semblance of sanity. But you do, your stories abound with both. And for that, I and other readers here are very grateful to you.

Courage

I have very recently discovered your writing, which i really enjoy.. Thank you for having the courage to be open about the abuse and hardship that you have suffered. With this understanding in mind it definitely provides greater depth and understanding of your writings.

I am your recent admirer...

Susan I do understand now why some women express themselves the way they do after having experienced such treatment as you described. It could have lifelong implications, not to mention the deep emotional scars the trauma had inflicted.
If what you related were true personal experiences I have nothing but emphatical abhorrence for those perpetrators. Most of all, your Uncles should be exposed in as shameful a manner as politically appropriate in today's society. 
Meaning hang them up by their balls! 
It is one thing to be caressed and fondled even by an uncle, if done lovingly and with care, but quite another to be physically violated and raped. 
There is pleasure in the former when the act is consensual and with the love that accompanies it, but trauma in the latter as pain and humiliation had been inflicted by someone who's expected to love and protect you.
As your favourite uncle he should have been all the more kind and gentle to a beautiful and desirable niece.
All the more so, if he was aware of your past unfortunate experiences, he should in fact try to help to alleviate the hurt rather than aggravate the situation.