Great story, not too rushed building up slowly making it so much more enjoyable read.
Thankfully no huge 10" cock that so many like to put in thier stories.
Despite a few silly errors, not least switching back and forth between past and present tense, I rather liked this. You didn't rush the narrative, allowing room for Karen to explore her feelings of trepidation, and gave the description of her seduction both depth and texture. Well done.
by
Anonymous11/24/12
Two words had this been real life
Birth control!
by
Anonymous11/26/12
Good job!
I agree with the others. It'd be good to use spell check and correct grammar. You have a good story that couple easily continue onto a serious. Don't be afraid to draw out the sex scene a little more. Not too long like some of the marathon stories. I'd love to read more.
Such a shame that a lyrical seduction story was marred by 'Creative Writing 101' and all the complainers.
I do wish they got their hands out of their trousers and showed just how competent they are.
Loved the story, made me wish I could be so lucky.
by
Anonymous08/30/13
Great story. Wish I could be so lucky.
by
Anonymous10/17/13
Gosh
I wish I was lucky as Karen. It makes me feel tingles how Andy can be so gentle. :-) Need I say more, you're a good writer. You definitely know how to capture your readers. Two thumbs up! Plus, I really like the ending
I'll start with the obvious; great story from an enjoyable author.
But a question.... I've used MS Word or at least one of it's clones since Windows III or so when i switched from Lotus Suite (I was comfortable with 1-2-3 protocols). I now run a Windows 8 w/ Office '13, a Mac desktop and an iPad. The only formats w/o spell and grammar editors I encounter are forums in various chats and comment fields like this one.
What are these people writing on that has no checker?
English
I like this story very much.
Liked it
But hoped it wasn't just a time thing for both. Hopefully there will be more to come.
Great story
Great story, not too rushed building up slowly making it so much more enjoyable read.
Thankfully no huge 10" cock that so many like to put in thier stories.
Genuine erotica
Despite a few silly errors, not least switching back and forth between past and present tense, I rather liked this. You didn't rush the narrative, allowing room for Karen to explore her feelings of trepidation, and gave the description of her seduction both depth and texture. Well done.
Two words had this been real life
Birth control!
Good job!
I agree with the others. It'd be good to use spell check and correct grammar. You have a good story that couple easily continue onto a serious. Don't be afraid to draw out the sex scene a little more. Not too long like some of the marathon stories. I'd love to read more.
Rubbish
Total Crap
The Story
The story reminds me of times long ago
Bravo
Great story. You need to use spell check or an editor.
What a pity!
Such a shame that a lyrical seduction story was marred by 'Creative Writing 101' and all the complainers.
I do wish they got their hands out of their trousers and showed just how competent they are.
Loved the story, made me wish I could be so lucky.
Great story. Wish I could be so lucky.
Gosh
I wish I was lucky as Karen. It makes me feel tingles how Andy can be so gentle. :-) Need I say more, you're a good writer. You definitely know how to capture your readers. Two thumbs up! Plus, I really like the ending
MS Word and clones
I'll start with the obvious; great story from an enjoyable author.
But a question.... I've used MS Word or at least one of it's clones since Windows III or so when i switched from Lotus Suite (I was comfortable with 1-2-3 protocols). I now run a Windows 8 w/ Office '13, a Mac desktop and an iPad. The only formats w/o spell and grammar editors I encounter are forums in various chats and comment fields like this one.
What are these people writing on that has no checker?
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