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English
I can't think of anything to say
that would be anything more than unpleasant. Poorly written and with the kind of errors that really jar on the reader.
Only constructive comment that can be said is..
Stop posting.
What a
Limp dick can't keep a woman satisfied .just turn queer and all your problems go away . Discusting story,premise and writer zero . Limp dick should look for employment in the current administration they are well suited. ( liars cheats limp dicks cock suckers)
11 YEARS AGO YOU GOT AWAY
With wife sharing and being a wimp , we see you have never change even with the blue bomb you are still the wimp
Editor NOW
Not a single word of dialogue. Total narrative and description. Telling the audience (usually the Bull) what is being said is NOT dialogue! It IS boring and unrealistic, and difficult for the reader to get vicariously involved!
The author makes DRAMATIC errors, such as using 'know' rather than 'no!' Perhaps it is the belief that more letters makes 'no' more emphatic? There are a host of similar errors! Maybe it is an old version of 'voice recognition' software?
2* (because I save the 'one bomb' for insincere submissions!)
i would say
the black man standing there took a look and got sick.
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