Robbie's First Time with his Sister

Not bad for a first submission.

Good for a first submission. Need to see more to determine if you write true stories of pure fiction.

Really????

"Ohh yes Robbie! I want you to shoot your potent, baby-making sperm deep inside your big sister's fertile, unprotected womb!" Sharon cries through her orgasm.

Has ANYONE ever said such a ridiculous line in their life?

Was a decent story up to this point. This one line ruined it for me.

The pretext of what happened is almost believable. I just wish you would of added more details of their sexual encounter, and possibly a little more lead up before she just flashes him and has him do the deed.

ARE YOU FROM MARS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT WAS A VERY GOOD STORY, THE CRACK ABOUT FROM MARS WAS ONLY A JOKE. MOST STORIES ON THIS SITE, THE MEN HAVE HUGE COCKS AND THE WOMEN HAVE OUTRAGES TITS . YOURS ARE NORMAL 5 INCH COCK, C-CUP TITS, PLEASE LET US HEAR MORE FROM THESE NORMAL PEOPLE. ALSO FOR A FIRST TIMER YOU DID A GREAT JOB. I'DE LIKE TO BE A FAN. .....................................LAROC OF AGES

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Fucking junk.... just like the usual spam stories we get all week long. We get a few paragraphs of shit.... all the while using up bandwidth on this site so that the illiterate mindless zombies can go "rah, rah, rah" as they read this shit.

yeah, right.

There I was reading my People magazine and my sister walks up and shows me her pussy. Yeah, Right. Happens all the time.

wow...just...wow...

This was terrible. Just terrible.

A dose of reality please...

Great concept, but it was like from outer space. Try again...

Consider the SOURCE

The only positive comment was from someone who types in the juvenile style of ALL CAPS. Listen to the majority of the commenters. The "plot" was almost non-existent and very unrealistic. While this site is devoted to erotic fiction, any work of fiction loses its value if it is not believable. The only redeeming value was that the characters were normal people and were not endowed like porn stars. Use some imagination, read some resources about creative writing, and use an editor.

utter rubbish

utter rubbish and contains impossible situations without any plot.

Chill people

First timer, no need to be so nasty. Don't like, don't read. Most of you are just being nasty for no reason at all. So many rude people. Not all stories will be perfect their first time. Want perfect pay for it. RELAX

Rubbish

Can not rember ever reading any thing so bad -100 if I could

Don't give up

It is always hard the first time and thier is always negative feedback. You had the courage to try at least and that is what counts. Not what anyone says, You improve with practice. Their seem to be alot of trolls here, and yes the story could have been better I would not really call it unrealistic because these people know nothing of what others in the world do in private. It is shocking some things that people do or how it starts so in truth they do not know. Just pay them no mind and just try your best, write for yourself and be proud you actually did.

Awful spam. I agree with the negative comments.

But I read the comments first so wanted to see exactly what the fuss was about.

Get real. I hate to one bomb but here it is. 1*

Having worked at a prison for the criminally insane. Let me say much worse is possible. so i gave u a 4. People still make me nervous talking by themselves, UNTIL i see a cellphone in their hand.

I want to read about him fucking his mother

And perhaps a three way with him , his sister and his mom.

Thanks for the read.

Cheers!

Great start with the first two paragraphs, but that sudden change kinda killed it. Thanks and keep'em coming!

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aggree with the guy under me !!

Missing detail?

I've written incest stories where they hope to get pregnant. However, it stretches credibility a LOT if she's still married, as the reference to "one of her husband's shirts" suggests. Otherwise, good story!