The scenario here is so hot, but it definitely could have used a little editing. The shifting of 1st and 2nd person narrative is jarring-especially in the middle of a sentence. I would stick with 1st person POV. I'd love to see more stories like this, just written a little more carefully.
by
Anonymous12/03/12
I agree with other poster....you need an editor!
Nice story idea, but PLEASE get an editor. A good writer knows the importance of editing and rewriting. Switching back and forth between first and third person was quite distracting. Keep trying, though! Nice effort.
by
Anonymous10/06/16
Good Spanking Stories
Stories you might want to read
Story 1: Spanking Friend and Neighbor http://www.otd-memories.com/spanking_memories/my-f riend-and-neighbor
Story 2: Spanking Engagment http://www.saxon-web.co.uk/fiction/htm/novels/enga gement/index.shtml#.V1dILC_D-bN
Story 3: Spanking Contest http://www.spanko.net/spanking_forums/viewtopic.ph p?f=3&t=3262
English
hot
The scenario here is so hot, but it definitely could have used a little editing. The shifting of 1st and 2nd person narrative is jarring-especially in the middle of a sentence. I would stick with 1st person POV. I'd love to see more stories like this, just written a little more carefully.
I agree with other poster....you need an editor!
Nice story idea, but PLEASE get an editor. A good writer knows the importance of editing and rewriting. Switching back and forth between first and third person was quite distracting. Keep trying, though! Nice effort.
Good Spanking Stories
Stories you might want to read
Story 1: Spanking Friend and Neighbor http://www.otd-memories.com/spanking_memories/my-f riend-and-neighbor
Story 2: Spanking Engagment http://www.saxon-web.co.uk/fiction/htm/novels/enga gement/index.shtml#.V1dILC_D-bN
Story 3: Spanking Contest http://www.spanko.net/spanking_forums/viewtopic.ph p?f=3&t=3262
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