A personal preference, I am sure, but I do not like stories told in 2nd or 3rd person with no dialogue. A good story has interaction between the characters in it, otherwise it might as well be a silent film. I wish you well, an hope that your style continues to improve. Good Luck!D182
Might wanna get a better title. There's lots of "Waiting For You"s out there.
Anyway, just as Anon said, there is not much interaction between the characters. That fun, warm feeling of erotica comes from the characters. Readers feel what they feel. If the reader is looking for just plain sex, which is not likely as he/she would just watch porn, this style would satisfy them. But most of us are looking for the emotional part of sex. We want to know what the characters think and feel about each other while they... you know. This especially applies to 2nd person, where the main character is "You", the reader. The reader has to feel like he/she is directly involved in the story, and hence feelings and emotions have to be there so they can "act out" the character.
However I rather enjoyed this as I was reading a few other stories and was so turned on I needed something made of pure sex. I'm waiting for more and better.
English
short, not sweet
A personal preference, I am sure, but I do not like stories told in 2nd or 3rd person with no dialogue. A good story has interaction between the characters in it, otherwise it might as well be a silent film. I wish you well, an hope that your style continues to improve. Good Luck!D182
Waiting For More
Might wanna get a better title. There's lots of "Waiting For You"s out there.
Anyway, just as Anon said, there is not much interaction between the characters. That fun, warm feeling of erotica comes from the characters. Readers feel what they feel. If the reader is looking for just plain sex, which is not likely as he/she would just watch porn, this style would satisfy them. But most of us are looking for the emotional part of sex. We want to know what the characters think and feel about each other while they... you know. This especially applies to 2nd person, where the main character is "You", the reader. The reader has to feel like he/she is directly involved in the story, and hence feelings and emotions have to be there so they can "act out" the character.
However I rather enjoyed this as I was reading a few other stories and was so turned on I needed something made of pure sex. I'm waiting for more and better.
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