All Comments on 'The Pinion Pine Tree'

which one is it?

The story evokes mixed messages. It's well-crafted. I can't say I "like" the story, bit it's moving, brilliantly imagined, and somewhat stark.

I enjoyed reading your story. Thank you

makes a man remember the oddest things. TK U MLJ LV NV

.?.

Well done showing the hurt of both parties. You left doubt in the mind of the reader if the wife was telling the truth, but the child pushed the make-up forward past the question.

thanks for posting

you've given the wife two names Cheryl and Janice?!? it threw us for a bit

the segment outside the market ringing the bell immersed me in the slightly distorted reality that one would feel in that situation.(I hope that sentence was understandable, cuz it sounded like psycho-babble). Well done!

EDIT!!!!! Is it Janice or Cheryl? You kept flipping between them, FFS not to mention ALL the other errors! 1*

EDIT!!!!! Is it Janice or Cheryl? You kept flipping between them, FFS not to mention ALL the other errors! 1*

That overall this first rate writing is not in doubt. There were the odd hammy, melodramatic phrases to be found. This time of year, however, it's not a cardinal sin to err on the side of excess. The main thing is overwhelming feeling of being adrift and yet striving to anchor oneself to start anew that the author created.

The reconciliation really hung on a razor's edge. WTF, she has dinner with old flame on Xmas Eve? If it hadn't been for the kid , no way. Irrespective of that, the story had my total attention . No doubt, whatsoever, as to rating this at five stars.

She lied. She fucked the soldier. That's why the DNA test. I'd like to believe in the power of love and Christmas cheer but I just don't get it anymore. Maybe it's me.

I'm right on the borderline of liking and hating this story. There's too much going on to completely hate the story, but also too much unsaid for me to like it.

The fact is, she WAS a cheat and he needs to "man up" and move on with his life. The hurt she inflicted upon him (she WAS cheating) is beyond forgiveness. Been there, lived that....

why did she have to lie about it? Sorry - couldn't get past that bit, it seemed like a poor device on which to hang the story. Okay, I can see the DNA test being used to convince her husband that the baby was his - but there was nothing to prove she didn't have an affair, it was just her word. The idea was okay, but there were just too many potholes for it to be convincing. And that is a shame, because it had the potential to be very good.

Also, has others have pointed out, you should have proofread it more carefully to avoid the confusion of names.

it's the world we live in, their in every walk of life, it every step taken.....the cheater are a part of everyday life and it's ashame but it is what it is.

But I gave the story a 4, once I found out Cherly and janice are the same person.

The tree is a pinon (with a tilde over the N). The Sierra mountains are to the west of 395. The Whites are east. If you stopped at Bishop Airport for Thai food, you would see that the altitude is clearly marked as 4100. And since you can't remember your wife's name, it makes it easy for other guys, who can remember it, to seem more interested in her.

It's also good to live in a world where there's also forgiveness to balance out retribution. God bless to Jovan Belcher, his girlfriend, thier baby and the rest of thier family. May they RIP that they didn't have in thier final days.

Is her name Cheryl, or Janice????

Just asking.....

She last saw Jack on 24 Dec and she claims that she never slept with him, but she missed her period in early Jan, even I know that means Jack couldn't have been the dad unless she had been fucking him for a while. If she was faithful there would have been no doubt as to who the father was. Such a rush to have a DNA test bespeaks a guilty mind. I think she had reason to fear it was another man's child. She needed to verify it before going to all the trouble of finding Tom. I'm afraid ole Tom has been suckered again.

I think having an editor would help quite a bit...not only the constant name confusions but also with the flow of the story, which was a little choppy. The transitions from her telling him she wanted to sleep with another guy to him being okay we're just too fast to be believable.

It was distracting that you alternated between "Cheryl" and "Janice". It is very simple editing to keep the name of the "cheater" straight. Otherwise,the story is basically a "feel good" cheater story. Happy endings are good.

the difference between janice and cheryl was confusing and distracted from an otherwise great story.

and should be left alone. And, I don't believe she didn't fuck her army freind. She disrespected her husband and put him second!! Let her live with it.

The story itself is good. But the editing errors, especially the her name confusion, detract from the reading.

When there is such a blatant error as a name change in the middle of a story I seriously wonder if this is indeed your story. Especially when the changes happen late in the story like you'd given up trying to find them all. Future reference for changing important words in bulk try "Find and Replace" in Word. Also, for the record I do not believe her story and personally would have DNA tests run again. The lack of trust might give her a real hint of what pain and loss he actually went through. I can say from experience that Catholics do cheat but their capacity for guilt is astronomical and their minds have a tendency to mask what they've done with an alternate reality.

A bit hit and miss on the old spelling but luckily not too distracting.

Can I suggest you call the wife Peggy-Sue. That way you got your two names to play with and it will not look completely off when you switch :-)

Thanks for sharing

Major errors in the one story .... Almost unreadable

that right there shows it was possible the baby was someone elses.

That would have told me all i needed to know she fucked someone else.

No way i would have went back there is no way she could justify needing a paternity test if she was faithful.

Why did the wife's name change from Cheryl to Janice? If you had been one of my creative writing students you would have flunked the class for this error alone!

Just a reminder that emotions can be your worst enemy. How would the story be if he sent the texts but waited at home for her to return and then talked. Great story, Like the two girls my tears were there.

I can't stand people who insist on dragging religion into christmas. His "holier than thou" attitude was irritating. Imagine, arguing with one's wife because she wanted an angel on the tree for no reason other than that she thought it looked nice. What a bitch she must be. And making her feel guilty because she doesn't care to spend christmas eve sitting through a boring catholic mass? That shows how much this man cared. Evidently her beliefs differed from his. Then, with typical christian tolerance, he abandons his wife without giving her a chance to explain. What a saint he is. No wonder she looked elsewhere.

The story & characters were compelling...very nice tale. Thanks.

who all was cheryl/janice humping?

Tom is an idiot.

You got lots of comments and that is usually the mark of a good story. Many people commented on the switching between Cheryl and Janice and that detracted from the quality of the story and makes one wonder who he is dealing with. Overall, I liked the story and the style, but her not being able to find him for a year in a small community totaling 15,000 people stretches our belief. The Sheriff would have been able to find him in ten minutes. Having said that, maybe she deliberately waited for a year to come to him, but if stated, I failed to pick that up.

You had a good story, but it could have been given a bit more editing and I would have rated it five stars instead of four.

a writer starts a story and puts it away for a time...a day, a week, a month. He then begins writing again and decides to change some names and/or events of the story he had started. When he finishes, he has a story with name problems. I've done it (more than once, sadly) and it is surprisingly easy to do. This was a good story, and I, too, did not know how I felt when I finished it. I was angry, but I knew that if our hero was happier than he had been, it was a good thing. Lying to your spouse on Christmas Eve to dine with an ex-lover is not a thing a husband can take lightly. He needs to see the DNA test, maybe have another one done, and should probably frame it and place it in the living room. Let the wife explain that to visitors.

Based on the comments it appears dome people have no concept of true emotion.

For the early Christmas Present :)

The plot is somewhat unlikely in that while a man might run off like a little boy, he would likely keep in touch with his family so as not to worry them. Had he some that, he would have known about the child and the DNA test results. The DNA test in itself is a plot problem. If she didn't fuck her old boyfriend and was so sure it could only be her husbands child, why did she need a test? Lots of problems getting in the way of the tale.

sophist801 has put out some interesting stories before, and I am glad he gave us another. A lot of my fav authors have been putting them out lately. Cool. sophist801 puts out stories that irk the reader (or at least this reader). He is the short-story gad-fly. I liked this one-short and suscinct, gave the reader something to chew on. A different take on the hubby hits the road formula. It did need editing, though.

...is a sure sign of plagiarism.

Yeah...the Cheryl/Janice thing was irritating. There were other spelling errors, but the name switching was a biggie.

There's one thing that kinda surprised me. It was how easily Tom got back together with Janice/Cheryl, after he got home and his family was there. As if the past year hadn't happened, he just went to bed with Janice/Cheryl and snuggled. What the heck?

I read that twice, and went back to earlier parts to see whether I had missed anything, like crucial conversations. Nope, from one conversation after a year, to that same night he goes to sleep in the same bed with her. Janice/Cheryl must've thought that making up with him was amazingly easy. He simply rolled over and forgave her.

I wonder what happened to Tom's relatives, and how she got them to forgive her. Remember Tom sending that picture to all the important people? How did she manage to get them on her side? Obviously, with them being there with her, and not making any fuss, they want Tom and Janice/Cheryl back together. How did that happen?

I don't believe that Janice/Cheryl doing a DNA test on the son, is automatic proof of her fucking Army guy.

Even she could see the horrible "coincidence" of her cheating, and getting pregnant.

It was more like that SHE knew he wouldn't believe her saying it's his son. "I know you're not gonna believe a word I say, so I had the DNA test done, as proof."

Then again....HDK is right. Why believe that Janice/Cheryl had the DNA test done? Why believe that the test SHE said she had done, is the actual truth? Remember, people can, you know, LIE.

I know that this is a Christmas, feel-good piece, but overall, in my opinion, Tom took back Janice/Cheryl way too fast, without any questions anwered or any problems solved..

divorce her but accept the son if the dna is yours. she fucked another man and actually had to have a fucking test to know if it was yours.

Aren't they done with blood or saliva? But he wasn't around to donate his blood or saliva. So what did she do? I guess if his father and mother stepped in they could prove the child to be their grandchild but the story doesn't make mention of that.

Can he believe her? And, of course, that is the whole crux of the problem. Because she lied to him last Christmas. Convincingly. Did she lie again about the sex? He will never know will he? Makes the reconciliation a tough call.

Thanks for sharing.

Loved the story. Don't believe she hadn't been screwing the other guy. But the name switching was really bad. Causes one to go "what".

As others noted, the Janice / Cheryl thing was irritating and shows a lack of editing. That being said the story shows some real creative moments; the scene in front of Vons is the best example. I liked the tiny bit were he compares the suicidal alcoholic to his future.

I enjoyed your story you just need to clean up your writing. Thanks

First how did CHERYL BECOME JANICE, did the author re read his story, also some typo errors. I liked the story and the forgiviness was warranted since she didnot sleep with her old boyfriend but she made her husband a second choice after the lies and not working overtime to see this dude. she has dna the child is his , knowing he would question her. but his running was stupid without confronting her and he is a physcologist..wierdt o say the least.. I hope they work it out.. so much for a story. also those people who write those crude remarks about maling her a whore and want her destroyed really have some issues they need t o deal with, it seems they just hate women who like all of us are not perfect.

Cheryl or Janice. WTF Don't quit your day job. You can't even keep the characters names straight. Quit now while you're a head.

I wanted to give it a 5 because the story was great, on the surface. But the many gross errors already explored -- why the need for a DNA, lying about where she was on Christmas Eve, and her friggin' name -- just killed it for me.

So I struggled to give it a 2.

Very sloppy editing: the wife suddenly changes name midstory from Cheryl to Janice. And then in the latter part of the story it becomes Cheryl again! And then Janice once more! And then back to Cheryl! And to Janice and to Cheryl! Finally ending with Janice. The name kept spinning from one to the other… it was really irritating. Very sloppy writing.

How did she find him? And how did parents he hadn’t seen in over a year gain entry to his apartment? That’s breaking and entering…

On the one hand Tom’s an idiot for leaving town without confronting his wife. If she was not cheating all could easily have been resolved. And if she was, all would have been resolved as well. One way or the other.

I honestly don’t see their relation getting traction again, even if she had been completely true (she didn’t cheat physically – or so she claims because it only on her word that the refutation lays - but mentally she already was a goner): the hurt of him abandoning her would have been too deep. Now her betrayal – because that was what she intended to do - and him running off weighs heavily on them. It won’t work. They will never be the same as before the Christmas incident: the trust is gone.

Some commented why the DNA test if she hadn’t slept with Jack… I can understand why: perhaps trust – or the lack of it - is the key there. Even if she didn’t physically cheat, how could she ever prove to Tom and others, that the boy was really his. After all, his mind was already heavily predisposed to her being a cheater… and from there it’s a simple and logical leap to question the parentage. A simple declaration of innocence is no proof and would thus have never convince him that he was the boy’s father. So a DNA test – probably with this parents help – might have been the only recourse she had to convince doubters – including her husband and his family - of the boy’s true parenthood.

for such a story, but you only get a four**** because of failing to proof read - Gog for God and wrapped for rapt and I've already forgotten the others.

I hope that my mistakes are smaller than, Cheryl/Janice. Evidently Janice may be whom you Love and changed to story name, Cheryl. (Hello to "both")

Small mistake to make considering the wealth of emotional talent shown by author.

Rates 4.8, so a "5" is my choice.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

fuck, i am confused by this imbecile. why the blood and dna tests, did she also fuck strange cock?

The DNA was not for her but for a doubting husband.

Sophist,

Good job on the story. It did need editing; I'm sure you've figured that out by now. The change of name's was a little disconcerting at first. I went back and changed them, the names, myself in order for the story to be more readable; and, I did that because the story was that good.

I've made the same mistake with names once or twice. It happens sometimes when one is writing more than one story at a time. I have a dozen in the hopper right now with three of them near completion. Such being the case, I always rewrite my stuff half a dozen times anymore. People may hate the content of my stories--well that is what it is--but they can never say I don't edit, not anymore.

Anyway, good job.

Matt

Sophist,

I just realized i made a mistake just writing the comment I sent a little bit ago. I wrote "name's" (possessive) instead of "names" (plural). Like I said, it happens.

Matt

I'd love to see you all write a story that was even half as good. Granted there were some inconsistencies, but it was DAMNED FINE story. You nit pickers are a real pain in the ass!

Sigh!

the lies the deceit the cheating the slut who exposed you to various diseases

he was deployed Jan 3rd, she needed a dna test to prove who what the father

and suddenly she has this devine revelation that since he is the father and she isnt working she needs him to fund her and the child.

Keep the kid dump the slut, once a cheater always a cheater..........

Too many stories on the loving wives leave absolutely no room for reconciliation. At the same time, the "burn the partner" crowd can't seem to tolerate any story that doesn't end in tragedy.

People make mistakes.

If they have had a relationship (especially emotional/physical) with a person, there is great attachment when contact is again made. What I wish the story had pointed out was the deceit of not letting her husband know. That showed a stark flaw, that hopefully the consequences of the first Christmas alone would so mark in the wife that the reward/deficiency would never allow her to make that mistake, again.

This was a good story. It was realistic. It dealt honestly with certain aspects of recommitting. A follow up would need to investigate the long term processes needed to rebuild trust, openness, and reliance that must be in every good marriage.

Don't let the "burn the partner" folks who desire retribution and no reconciliation distort the fact that true remorse, repentance and resolve can bring a satisfactory conclusion to life dramas. Conclusions that don't always result in destruction and devastation.

This has some nice touches which makes it a very human story. The writer should be congratulated for writing something original and engaging. Not common and not easy to do. I like stories that challenge my preconceptions and look forward to more from this writer.

Buddy that's a deal. It's kind of buying a new car with hail damage. Yes, there is superficial damage but does the core have integrity? In these eyes, this story did and then some. It took me about 3.5 seconds to catch & adjust for 3-4 monicker hiccups.

The DNA assertion was jarring against the wife's claim of no extramarital coitus. IMO the author's intent was to have the wife establish beyond doubt the paternity knowing she was in the ' no trust zone '.

It was weird to me too the narrator would sever all communications with his blood family . This was possibly the only way the author could have the narrator ignorant of son's birth. That's a clunker, granted.

I loved the whole public airing of the grievances, though IRL that would be mortifying squared ! Uber unique twist that gave the author nigh immunity for editorial misdemeanors.

The narrator had been hurt and was making baby steps towards recovery. Boom ! I'm in. Sophist801 had a character trying to become whole and avoiding overt whininess in the process. He had acquired a dog and did volunteer work as a means of not getting locked into a ' poor me ' spiral cycle. Baby steps.

Now the wife pops up with iffy but intriguimg mea culpa, kid in tow and plea to reunite. Should he make the leap ? Frankly, I was hooked like a trout. That's the core- the miscues paled in perspective

It bears mentioning those who cry loudest about these errors are for the most part non-writers. It's enough to say that I look forward to the day these perfectionists gird their literary loins and get in the arena. When you struggle daily to build a cohesive story out of thin air as I attempt to do.

One day the nascent plot seems to be organic with foundation in process . The next day's read shows the story to be built on sand & washed out with tide. Ouch ! If nothing else the painful exposure to my creative cock-ups seems to have increased the tolerance for those of others.

I liked the story,the name was an obvious error,but thar doesn't change the story.It would be interesting to hear the author's views on the questions,like why would she get a dna test if she hadn't slept with Jack...and also why she would see Jack several times after realizing she wouldn't/couldn't sleep with him. I am not sure she really knew how much she hurt him,it wasn't just sex,it was obvious she still had feelings for Jack and put herself in harms way and I agree with others, the reconciliation was too fast,she never really opens up about her feelings for jack,she never says why she so willingly went to meet him,why she could be so stupid,she never comments on that.Was she in contact with him all along?Was she always in love with him?Did she meet with him expecting simply to have sex?Or was she already thibking of more?

If I was Tom I would want to know why she could forget him so easily,abandoning him on Christmas eve was just so cold even an evil bitch would do better then that...if that was me it would be clear this wasn't simple lust and I would want to know more,in part because Jack could show up again and then what?Reconciliations are not easy,and with something deep it was too shallow.....I realize this is about a Christmas miracle,how the star represents light from darkness,the main meaning of advent,but more depth to the wife would make it more vivid I think.Still a great story:)

For those who wonder how a shrink could run away,they are often more delicate than their patients.Seeing your wife intimately holding a guy like that on a special day is as cruel as it gets,like finding your spouse spent your anniversary with another person,it is pretty cruel,and seeing the emotional connection doubly so,plus she is eating dinner when she knows he is making a treat (in an Italian family that would warrant dovorce if not the death penalty!:). With.the dna test she could use his hair from his hairbrush for a sample.

I would encourage the author to some day revisit this,and expand the back.story of his wife and jack,and add in more reality to the reconciliation, and this would be an absolute gem

Who's Cheryl?

Great work . i would like more stories like this on this site

And in keeping with the Christmas spirit, I gave it a 5. Thanks for sharing.

I too alternated between hatred and love. I also don't believe the wife was on the up and up and (let's go for three here) I also think that he should have cut his losses and moved on. Her next affair will probably be with her old soccer coach from her teens who's about to die and then it will be her piano teacher and finally her first boyfriend or the guy who got her cherry. There will always be some guy with a sad face and a story to tell who invokes her heart strings and lead her to screw around on him. As I said I alternated my feelings for the characters but never once for the story or my appreciation of the writer's obvious talent. This was a great story. You've left a lot of room for another chapter. What happens next? Who's to say that just because they got back together they'll stay together. There's plenty of room to explore where this goes next . Do it SS06

Very good writing, lousy editing. A very touching story.

"Now and then, for no good reason a man can figure out, life will just haul off and knock him flat, slam him agin the ground so hard it seems like all his insides is bustin."

That was Fess Parker in Old Yeller, it seems to fit.

Call me Scrooge but I gave it a 1....only because there was no lower score.....bah humbug

You story is touching and one of the best story lines I have read in a long time. Even though I gave it a five you either need to pay attention to your character names better or get a good editor. Cheryl or Janise? Keep up the good work.

Since she ran a dna test there was obviously cheating involved, so "adios" is the only way to go for him.Since she got the parents involved and waited until Christmas eve to spring it on him that is another "adios' moment.The fact that she lied about where she was when she was caught is yet another "adios" moment. One part of the story that seemed off to me was the brother walking up to her when he got the pictures. it would seem that he would have walked up to her as soon as he saw her.

First - this is LITerotica. This saga of sadness is essentially non-EROTIC. What little there is feels like an add-on afterthought!

Hubby is a psychologist, but resigns 'effective immediately' then expects to find a job an hour or so away? Not likely...'impulsive and unreliable' are not great attributes in that profession! The professional register for state-licensed professionals would not inform civilians about his new location unless he approved that option, but they WOULD cooperate with a legal judgement for child support!

Location - he is now living in Mammoth Lakes but goes back to Bishop just to ring an SA bell? Can't do that in Mammoth? Sweetie claims to have looked up Hubby in Bishop, but he just got there and lives in ML. Why would she decorate a tree in the wilderness if she doesn't know he's coming back to Bishop (and by what route?). If she has located him in ML, why didn't she accost him THERE, sooner?

She had been spending more and more time 'at work' for several weeks before Xmas Eve. She was boffing Captain Bull before she met Hubby. She's a sexual active adult who starts hiding meetings with a former lover, probably seven times to fifteen times, finalizing with a major-significant day! The DNA may ID Hubby as Poppy, but the chances she was 'just good friends' with Bull during that time are exceedingly slim! It is also pretty likely that she was reducing her contacts with Hubby during the 'infatuation phase' of her resumed interest in Bull!

I agree that the idea that Hubby would NOT have contacted family members is just plain silly! Sophist...work harder on organization, consistency and details!

3*

She "worked late" for months before that Christmas Eve. She is not being forthcoming now, just saying enough without saying anything really. It doesn't matter. He made the right decision. As with all reconciliations, the cheating spouse will have to live life in a fishbowl, and the cuckolded spouse will be in constant gatekeeper mode. This usually takes years and never goes away completely. Even so, he owes himself the effort to get back a happy life.

cynicism would not be inappropriate here. the deception, followed by the pda, and her actions. dna would have been proper, and she lost and should have had her consequences, as she may. a difference between the child and her, to be handled

in the appropriate manner, with her betrayal not to be forgotten. he didn't know jack

So I'm a sap for Christmas stories with happy endings. So much so that I'm not even going to bother to ask why she had a DNA test done on the baby, if there was no skulduggery going on.

While it was a poignant tale it had some inconsistancies with reality pointed out by another commentor. That said, the dialogue was engaging.

A lot of time spent on setting up the countryside helped with the tree but the tree was left almost an afterthought in the end. Meet the people stopping at the tree, find out why some were moved to leave gifts.

While I agree with another commentor this was non-erotic, this story catagory has a huge number of stories that examine the institution of marriage which many have found to be cathartic in some way or another. Strange but true. If the commentator does not like it, too bad. The story description certainly set up that it was not an erotic story so I wonder why they read this to begin with. Read the description folks and only go where you feel led and do not cut down any author for "not delivering" what you wanted. Just go somewhere else!

I think this husband will have a lifetime of "trust but verify," including (as noted by HDK and others) an independent DNA test. The notion of a woman going to extraordinary lengths to win her husband back is romantic but unrealistic as hell - IRL she would find a way to blame her husband and would likely move on (once again I refer to PapaToad's women - they never explain, they never apologize).

I could give you 20 stars to me this is a great piece of writing. Thanks for sharing. "Merry Christmas"

I would not trust this cheating woman. She had all the right answers and all lies. She had DNA, blood tests, WHY. If she was not a cheating skank why do this, WHY. I would have all these test done myself. I bet the kid is not his. Just remember once a cheating skank always a cheating skank. She needs a daddy for her little bastard. Wise up guy a dog is better than a cheating whore, skank, slut bitch.

She probably still has a pussy full of jacks cum and is lying to Tom so she can use him for income. He should tell the slut to fuck off aND DIE

I threw this one over at Gog, and CheJanrylice (what name for the wife?) busted it.

This author writes such overwrought prose, it should be in the Hemingway of National Inquirer stories.

Please, stop writing this bullshit.

I really like your story, but is her name Cheryl or Janice. Spellcheck would be a nice idea too.

A very well written story. Thank you.

Where's the sex? Where's the erotic thrill in this story? Why is it on this site?

I have searched for the 'warning' you claim is there to dissuade commenters like me from believing this story in LIT would be erotic! It must be too subtle for the weak-minded, as I cannot identify ANY such warning!

Loved the story but needed some proof reading before posting. Switching back and forth from Janice to Cheryl is disconcerting and takes away from the story line.

Thank you! It came out just fine!

Not too worried about the lack of editing - I have no recollection of a perfectly written story on this site. The story struck a nerve in a LOT of people who were willing to write a comment. SS06 spelled it out well - she is a cheat, a liar, and Tom is a major league sucker. She will do it again. She lied about working late, had obviously met with the Captain in the past (the DNA test; of course there is Why she needed to do that OR tell Tom), she sent out an e-mail of her and her paramour all but admitting an affair, and she lied again after she found him. Perhaps another chapter would help to get Tom out of this. I would certainly look forward to reading the author's submissions.

I decided that her name was Janice Cheryl.... To me the lie has the same weight as the act. The theory that he will always be a gatekeeper sounds valid. But the idea of decorating the tree with a star deserves the best possible ending. I do not want to look in Future here!

No, no. Silly me. This is far too intelligent for him.

I stopped at about the same time the baby "filled his pants."

I actually ploughed through the "bell ringing."

Thanks for writing. 2*

Janice/Cheryl make up your mind please

I think it would be quite good if it had been competently edited.

For me the biggest problem with the story is how easily he took her back. If you are hurt enough to leave everything and everybody behind and start a new life, you won't get over it in one evening.

Once you discovered that your husband or wife had been lying to you, it would take a very long time to regain a sufficient amount of trust to take them back, if you ever could.

I also can get past the writing mistakes. However, I can't get past him letting her back into his life. I'd even want proof the child was mine, if so I wouldn't ostracize the child, she could go pound sand!!!

I really thought you'd grown a brain in the last few months, your comments seemed genuinely intellegent lately. I can see now that I was wrong, too bad.

Written by some bitch who likes to feed their non-men cream pie.

Merry Bitchmas!

'Ho Fucking Ho!'

And I do mean a fucking HO!

The changing names was throwing me. Also I think he should have mafe her work for it. Also why would she need a paternity test if she didnt sleep with the other guy.

I haven't mentioned X_Doenut_X for ages. But my bad and I apologise. I'm going to be much more intelegient in the future.

There seems to be a red thread, a common theme, in Sophist's stories. I've read most of them now, and the overarching theme is:

The wife cheats outrageously, and gets caught.

She doesn't see what all the fuss is about, and apologizes halfheartedly.

The husband instantly takes the wife back, and the story ends without any of the relationship problems resolved or even talked about.

If this continues (and I'm afraid it will), I'll just stop reading his stories, because I'll know beforehand how it ends. Badly. Oh well.

Clearly some editing mistakes (I.e. the wife's name change, etc.), but overall a superb tale. I love the idea of the spurned husband simply disappearing. It helped drive the hurt home. This emotions here seem authentic. I assume she was telling the truth in having not slept with the guy, and that the comment about doing a DNA test was either simply to reassure him or just bad editing. Either scenario seems plausible. Thanks for sharing. I will read your others now.

I just noticed this story was written two years to the day after your last submission in 2010. Perfect timing, and welcome back.

P.s. a previous comment questioned why she would keep the dinner secret if she wasn't screwing the guy. I think they missed something. She admitted she was planning on screwing him. What a great element in this tale. She sees the picture of herself sitting at the table as she is still sitting at the table. She realizes how she looks and how stupid she truly is. A nifty third person perspective that all of us could use from time to time. If we got that kind of glimpse from time to time we would probably do less boneheaded things in life. Fabulous device and used to perfection.